I want to fix this myself, how?
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Hello,
My name is Francis, I am 44 and currently self-employed. (This edit, has purpose as people see self employed, and there's Stigma, and other negative things attached. By self employed, I used every last bit of credit I had, went to city hall in Cranston Rhode Island, paid for the proper permits and registrations, I then followed their instructions, to open my Legititmate Consulting Agency. It is not easy, for anyone, let alone, a victim, who said, I'm no victim, I'm a Champion.)
I was doing ok, until about four years ago. I fell in love with a beautiful woman. Life seemed to be going well. I had no reason to not trust this woman and loved her with all that I am. Things went well for a while, then I began to notice more and more. My Girlfriend, was drinking, I didn’t see her drinking. She would show up, or I would visit her, and I could smell alcohol.
At first, it didn’t seem to be an issue. One day, I stopped by about 9:00 am, she smelled of alcohol already. I asked her if she had been drinking. To give you an idea of what was really going on. We went through her house, and found nine (9) empty vodka bottles hidden in kitchen drawers, cabinets. All over. I wanted to cry, as it was she was taking Xanax for anxiety.
I did some research, and found that vodka and Xanax combination, is the most lethal and dangerous combination you can take together. You can literally die and not even know you’re dying. They also have a side effect in which, you believe in a false reallity. Some things began to make sense to me, as beautiful as she is. Her breathing was terrible, she was always sick.
She had two beautiful children of her own, and I thought maybe she was overwhelmed. I did what I could to help. Take the kids to the playground, or just outside so they could ride their bikes.
What I didn’t know, until I could smell it, was my girlfriend, while “house cleaning”, was still drinking.
I had her committed one night, she was that bad. The hospital took her right in. She then signed herself out the next day. Needless to say, she was not pleased with me. I had thought the distance was a result of her anger. Well, come to find out, she had a sugar daddy on the side, I was unaware of.
It was an ex-boyfriend from her past. (I am telling my story in hindsight mind you). He would supply her with Vicodin’s, vodka cigarettes marijuana and cash. I was told she cleaned houses for a living, but things weren’t adding up. For a while, she had me convinced the other guy was out of her life, and she wasn’t drinking anymore. I had no reason to disbelieve her, as I didn’t see the ex-boyfriend around, she didn’t smell of alcohol and her overall appearance seemed healthier.
One morning, I came over and she was drunk. She had this look I had never seen before. In a word, I would call it Evil. She told me I had to go, I could not be there. She said before you leave, I want you to know something. She told me her and her boyfriend had never actually split up. He was unable to have children, he was sterile. She told me she was pregnant, she knew it was mine. Then asked me how I felt.
I won’t repeat how I felt, I will say it involved a lot of pain inside. She then demanded I leave her house. Which I did. I didn’t know what to do. My friends and family were supportive and told me to stay away from her. Now, I have four sons from when I was with my high school sweetheart. We were engaged, but never married. She cheated on me, several times actually. And I stuck around for a couple of years. Trying to make it work out. I could not forgive her. Every day together, was like a day in some sort of prison.
The day came, we had the talk. I told her I had to go, I couldn’t forgive her for what she had done. Every day we are together, I am only taking out my anger on her. This was not healthy for either of us. She agreed, and I left that day. We went to court a few months later and I went for joint custody of my boys.
Now, going back to the question, the recent now ex-girlfriend asked me “How do you feel”… From a fathers point of view, I felt hurt, lost angry, I think every negative emotion one could imagine. Now, as the babies due date came closer. My ex-girlfriend, started acting weird, texting me out of the blue, picking fights with me. Always through text. At one point, I felt as though I was being setup for something.
I was, she began to call the police, and would lie to them, saying I was driving by her house, pounding on the door. Threatening her. I wanted nothing to do with her. My plan was when the child is born, have a DNA test done. I live in Rhode Island. The laws here, are out of balance, to the point, this woman needed no proof.
All she had to do was call the police, and they would come tell me to leave her alone. Then, she got a no contact order against me. I remember, I received it on a Friday and thought, there’s no point in reading it now. Everything is closed, why make my weekend worse than it is. I’ll wait until Monday morning, and then call my lawyer. The one thing I know for certain, whatever was in the envelope, was all lies.
I did just that, Monday rolled around, I read the documents, and could not believe what I was reading.
Now there are other factors involved, and to tell every detail, would literally be a novel. Her 5-year-old son at the time, had been molested, by her step father. Her step father molested her when she was around 9 years old.
This I believed, because as we dated, her step father would send her naked selfies now and then, she showed me a couple, and I naturally wanted to go to this guy’s house. Well, we managed to get her mom involved, and I thought things would take the right path. I was wrong. Now with a no contact order against me.
I was awoken out of bed one night, the police banging on my door. They asked many questions, and I answered them all and told them, “you just woke me out of bed”. The last question the officer asked me that night, was did I know I had a no contact order against me. I said yes. They arrested me, they claimed my ex called them and said I was calling her and threatening her.
To shorten this up, and I will answer any questions, as I saw somewhere, I may be asked questions here.
This went on for over two years, I at one point, got a no contact order against her, to protect myself. As with each arrest, I started doing “violation time” in prison. So, I don’t mislead, I did meet her a couple of times, one time, just so I could see this baby. Who by the way, looks like my sons.
Well over the course of three years, another child was born. And I felt hopelessly locked in some weird time warp. We met several times at playgrounds, and yes, the second boy, looks like all the boys. In my head, these are my sons, and I’m spending whatever time I can with them, at any cost. I had already done 6 months “violation time”, I had lost my home, lost my business, but I knew I could recover those things.
I was staying with my mother at this point, who was ready to kill me I’m sure. I honestly can’t describe what it feels like knowing you are going to visit your ex, and two boys, you believe are your sons. Each visit, I felt was the last I would see them. She didn’t call the police every time either.
The nail in the coffin. In Rhode Island, there’s a Three (3) strike law on domestic violence. Get arrested three times for domestic violence, is mandatory (10) years prison time. Well, I allowed her to get me 4 times. A couple were back to back, as I was going to court.
I was sentenced to Ten (10) years Prison. I did have a good lawyer, $12,000 later. I served 1 year in prison, 1 year on home confinement (as that counts as a sentence) with 8 years suspended. She actually tried to contact me when I got out. I ignored her. Oh, and about the laws being off balance. When I had my no contact order against her, for my protection.
One night in the back of a police car…I asked the officer, “you guys picked her up, too right? She’s been arrested?” The officer replied, “No”. I said no, why not??? He responded with “She called first”.
So, me getting a protection order was a complete waste of my time and the courts time.
Now when I told the first judge, about what her five-year-old son described to us. He yelled at me, that was none of my business.
Well, I am sorry, but this little boy, whom I gave his first ever bear hug, came to his mom and I, and described what happened. I looked at her, she assured me she would take care of it. I told her she better, or I would call myself. Then everything went downhill faster than I knew what was happening.
I thought I was saving this woman’s life, instead, she was taking mine. Now, when you go to prison, I had never been. I’m a solid guy, I’m brave, I like to think I have courage and especially now, try to be a better man than I was the day before. When you go to prison, your family goes to prison too.
I watched my mom in one year, age about 4 years. I couldn’t see my sons, they were devastated. I hurt more knowing my family was suffering, than anything that happened in that hell, called prison.
A little about me. I’m a community leader. I started a small nonprofit organization in August of 2000, it still exists today. It has to do with gaming, but I created an environment, in the virtual world, to keep bullies away from kids who played video games, to get away from bullies and their problems in the real world.
I grew up next to a boys and girls club, and practically lived there. I am a team player as well as a leader. When I see others who are natural leaders, I encourage them to lead, whether it was basketball, softball, anything. Without getting into my individual family’s issues. I have four brothers, and two sisters, one of my sisters, a minister, passed away at the age of 45. Other than I, she was the only one with no health issues, or substance abuse problems.
She like I, avoided situations that most of my siblings fell prey too. I being the youngest of eight, attribute my abstinence, to learning from their mistakes. I posted a number, I think it was around twenty-eight thousand. Honestly, It should be thirty thousand or more. How do I put a price on losing my home, a self-supporting business, that allowed me time with my family as well. All the money every week, my elderly mom would put in my commissary, so I wouldn’t starve, or freeze, so I could by footwear and personal hygiene products every week.
Then, the second year, while on home confinement, the state wouldn’t let me work for myself. I had no savings left, if it weren’t for my mom. I wouldn’t be writing this today. If this is real, and people help fund me. I want to pay my mom back, and my creditors, I can’t work anywhere and support four boys being a felon. My child support alone is $600.00 per month, rents are high. I’m supposed to work a child’s job, like your first job washing dishes, or making burgers. I’ll be lucky if I took home $800.00 in a month.
My business is a small consulting agency, I registered through the city of Cranston. My percentage rate on my loans are close to 29%. I don’t even want to look at the bills anymore. Not because I don’t want to pay them, I do, and I have paid back about $3,000.00 so far, out of $16,000 I spent to reopen my business, purchase the necessary tools only. I lost over $30,000 in tools alone, that were passed down to me from when my dad passed away. I work, when I can find clients, as I reopened only Six months ago, My consulting agency www.WebineerSolutions.net specializes in Construction, IT, and Security. None of these fields just start up and do well off the line. Each takes time, and as that time passes, my hole gets deeper. I’m barely holding on to my driver’s license, as the state of Rhode Island wants to take it, because I owe child support.
Even that, they over charged me $20,000 and told me there’s nothing I can do, because I missed one court day. Over 12 years going to family court for reviews of my income, etc. my ex, the mother of my four sons, almost never went. In 12 years, I missed two days, years apart, because I was sick. Well, one of those sick days, cost me $20,000.
I think that’s why one day, I woke up, and knew what I had to do, not for me. I think I’m dead in the water. I googled writing in February of 2014, because I wanted to learn how to write, in a manner, that was clear, and people understood. I found writing.com. Today, I still work on it. One day, I do hope to write novels. I hear Master Story Tellers, make good money.
I spent my last few dollars on materials I need to work, and show others, I will do whatever I have to do, to make sure from one day forward. No one, suffers in a manner such as I have. There are people in prison, who do not belong there. I teach my sons how to be Men, how to talk to their mother, which translates to how to speak to a girl, when they want to. I coordinate community efforts and team activities.
There are many out there like me, and many who do much more. We should not have to fear, a system in which some drunk on pills who slurs in court, can put you away for years, causing you to lose your job, your home, making your family suffer. The judge is the one who told me the laws were poorly written, and his hands were tied. He apologized to me. My mom’s not the same, she’s a nervous wreck, and she tortures me. Every time I walk out the door, she’s afraid I’ll go see the ex, that lied to me, did all of this horrific stuff. Even I am scared, every time I hear a siren, I panic. My mom selling her house and moving near the prison…didn’t help. We hear sirens all the time.
I just want to put the pieces back together, and move forward, and enjoy what little time I have left with mom, who needs assisted living. I am no care taker, but I do my best. I want to make up as much time with my sons as possible. I also need to have DNA testing on the children with this recent ex. But through lawyers and family court. I don’t ever want to see her again. If there’s a chance those kids are mine, we need to know.
To put the cherry on top, I’m a consultant, I have to meet with people, and talk. Well, I just had all my teeth pulled. Moms last loan if you will, between my medical, and mom, I’m able to do this now, now is good only because I have some good teeth to mount plates too. However today, No one’s consulting, with or definitely going with the guy who has four teeth currently. I had the last eight pulled yesterday. I won’t bore you with how much pain I’m in.
I don’t know what else to do. I posted a link for my consulting, that’s what I try to do today for money. Had none of this happened to me, I would easily be making six figures for an income.
This is my writing link below, in which I hope I can be prepared for tomorrow. Just before I went to prison. I was given a gift. I didn’t begin to understand how powerful this gift was, until I was in prison. You see, in prison, there is a shortage of books, literature, reading material in general. During my stay, to pass my time. I began to write short stories.
I started to see lives change, maybe because no one ever did anything for these guys, I really don’t know. I know, I wrote my heart out. Mad max style stories, you know men’s books. I couldn’t write them fast enough these guys were addicted. To learning.
https://www.godaddy.pro/flcomeau
https://FrancisComeau.com
Thank you for reading.
Francis Comeau
My name is Francis, I am 44 and currently self-employed. (This edit, has purpose as people see self employed, and there's Stigma, and other negative things attached. By self employed, I used every last bit of credit I had, went to city hall in Cranston Rhode Island, paid for the proper permits and registrations, I then followed their instructions, to open my Legititmate Consulting Agency. It is not easy, for anyone, let alone, a victim, who said, I'm no victim, I'm a Champion.)
I was doing ok, until about four years ago. I fell in love with a beautiful woman. Life seemed to be going well. I had no reason to not trust this woman and loved her with all that I am. Things went well for a while, then I began to notice more and more. My Girlfriend, was drinking, I didn’t see her drinking. She would show up, or I would visit her, and I could smell alcohol.
At first, it didn’t seem to be an issue. One day, I stopped by about 9:00 am, she smelled of alcohol already. I asked her if she had been drinking. To give you an idea of what was really going on. We went through her house, and found nine (9) empty vodka bottles hidden in kitchen drawers, cabinets. All over. I wanted to cry, as it was she was taking Xanax for anxiety.
I did some research, and found that vodka and Xanax combination, is the most lethal and dangerous combination you can take together. You can literally die and not even know you’re dying. They also have a side effect in which, you believe in a false reallity. Some things began to make sense to me, as beautiful as she is. Her breathing was terrible, she was always sick.
She had two beautiful children of her own, and I thought maybe she was overwhelmed. I did what I could to help. Take the kids to the playground, or just outside so they could ride their bikes.
What I didn’t know, until I could smell it, was my girlfriend, while “house cleaning”, was still drinking.
I had her committed one night, she was that bad. The hospital took her right in. She then signed herself out the next day. Needless to say, she was not pleased with me. I had thought the distance was a result of her anger. Well, come to find out, she had a sugar daddy on the side, I was unaware of.
It was an ex-boyfriend from her past. (I am telling my story in hindsight mind you). He would supply her with Vicodin’s, vodka cigarettes marijuana and cash. I was told she cleaned houses for a living, but things weren’t adding up. For a while, she had me convinced the other guy was out of her life, and she wasn’t drinking anymore. I had no reason to disbelieve her, as I didn’t see the ex-boyfriend around, she didn’t smell of alcohol and her overall appearance seemed healthier.
One morning, I came over and she was drunk. She had this look I had never seen before. In a word, I would call it Evil. She told me I had to go, I could not be there. She said before you leave, I want you to know something. She told me her and her boyfriend had never actually split up. He was unable to have children, he was sterile. She told me she was pregnant, she knew it was mine. Then asked me how I felt.
I won’t repeat how I felt, I will say it involved a lot of pain inside. She then demanded I leave her house. Which I did. I didn’t know what to do. My friends and family were supportive and told me to stay away from her. Now, I have four sons from when I was with my high school sweetheart. We were engaged, but never married. She cheated on me, several times actually. And I stuck around for a couple of years. Trying to make it work out. I could not forgive her. Every day together, was like a day in some sort of prison.
The day came, we had the talk. I told her I had to go, I couldn’t forgive her for what she had done. Every day we are together, I am only taking out my anger on her. This was not healthy for either of us. She agreed, and I left that day. We went to court a few months later and I went for joint custody of my boys.
Now, going back to the question, the recent now ex-girlfriend asked me “How do you feel”… From a fathers point of view, I felt hurt, lost angry, I think every negative emotion one could imagine. Now, as the babies due date came closer. My ex-girlfriend, started acting weird, texting me out of the blue, picking fights with me. Always through text. At one point, I felt as though I was being setup for something.
I was, she began to call the police, and would lie to them, saying I was driving by her house, pounding on the door. Threatening her. I wanted nothing to do with her. My plan was when the child is born, have a DNA test done. I live in Rhode Island. The laws here, are out of balance, to the point, this woman needed no proof.
All she had to do was call the police, and they would come tell me to leave her alone. Then, she got a no contact order against me. I remember, I received it on a Friday and thought, there’s no point in reading it now. Everything is closed, why make my weekend worse than it is. I’ll wait until Monday morning, and then call my lawyer. The one thing I know for certain, whatever was in the envelope, was all lies.
I did just that, Monday rolled around, I read the documents, and could not believe what I was reading.
Now there are other factors involved, and to tell every detail, would literally be a novel. Her 5-year-old son at the time, had been molested, by her step father. Her step father molested her when she was around 9 years old.
This I believed, because as we dated, her step father would send her naked selfies now and then, she showed me a couple, and I naturally wanted to go to this guy’s house. Well, we managed to get her mom involved, and I thought things would take the right path. I was wrong. Now with a no contact order against me.
I was awoken out of bed one night, the police banging on my door. They asked many questions, and I answered them all and told them, “you just woke me out of bed”. The last question the officer asked me that night, was did I know I had a no contact order against me. I said yes. They arrested me, they claimed my ex called them and said I was calling her and threatening her.
To shorten this up, and I will answer any questions, as I saw somewhere, I may be asked questions here.
This went on for over two years, I at one point, got a no contact order against her, to protect myself. As with each arrest, I started doing “violation time” in prison. So, I don’t mislead, I did meet her a couple of times, one time, just so I could see this baby. Who by the way, looks like my sons.
Well over the course of three years, another child was born. And I felt hopelessly locked in some weird time warp. We met several times at playgrounds, and yes, the second boy, looks like all the boys. In my head, these are my sons, and I’m spending whatever time I can with them, at any cost. I had already done 6 months “violation time”, I had lost my home, lost my business, but I knew I could recover those things.
I was staying with my mother at this point, who was ready to kill me I’m sure. I honestly can’t describe what it feels like knowing you are going to visit your ex, and two boys, you believe are your sons. Each visit, I felt was the last I would see them. She didn’t call the police every time either.
The nail in the coffin. In Rhode Island, there’s a Three (3) strike law on domestic violence. Get arrested three times for domestic violence, is mandatory (10) years prison time. Well, I allowed her to get me 4 times. A couple were back to back, as I was going to court.
I was sentenced to Ten (10) years Prison. I did have a good lawyer, $12,000 later. I served 1 year in prison, 1 year on home confinement (as that counts as a sentence) with 8 years suspended. She actually tried to contact me when I got out. I ignored her. Oh, and about the laws being off balance. When I had my no contact order against her, for my protection.
One night in the back of a police car…I asked the officer, “you guys picked her up, too right? She’s been arrested?” The officer replied, “No”. I said no, why not??? He responded with “She called first”.
So, me getting a protection order was a complete waste of my time and the courts time.
Now when I told the first judge, about what her five-year-old son described to us. He yelled at me, that was none of my business.
Well, I am sorry, but this little boy, whom I gave his first ever bear hug, came to his mom and I, and described what happened. I looked at her, she assured me she would take care of it. I told her she better, or I would call myself. Then everything went downhill faster than I knew what was happening.
I thought I was saving this woman’s life, instead, she was taking mine. Now, when you go to prison, I had never been. I’m a solid guy, I’m brave, I like to think I have courage and especially now, try to be a better man than I was the day before. When you go to prison, your family goes to prison too.
I watched my mom in one year, age about 4 years. I couldn’t see my sons, they were devastated. I hurt more knowing my family was suffering, than anything that happened in that hell, called prison.
A little about me. I’m a community leader. I started a small nonprofit organization in August of 2000, it still exists today. It has to do with gaming, but I created an environment, in the virtual world, to keep bullies away from kids who played video games, to get away from bullies and their problems in the real world.
I grew up next to a boys and girls club, and practically lived there. I am a team player as well as a leader. When I see others who are natural leaders, I encourage them to lead, whether it was basketball, softball, anything. Without getting into my individual family’s issues. I have four brothers, and two sisters, one of my sisters, a minister, passed away at the age of 45. Other than I, she was the only one with no health issues, or substance abuse problems.
She like I, avoided situations that most of my siblings fell prey too. I being the youngest of eight, attribute my abstinence, to learning from their mistakes. I posted a number, I think it was around twenty-eight thousand. Honestly, It should be thirty thousand or more. How do I put a price on losing my home, a self-supporting business, that allowed me time with my family as well. All the money every week, my elderly mom would put in my commissary, so I wouldn’t starve, or freeze, so I could by footwear and personal hygiene products every week.
Then, the second year, while on home confinement, the state wouldn’t let me work for myself. I had no savings left, if it weren’t for my mom. I wouldn’t be writing this today. If this is real, and people help fund me. I want to pay my mom back, and my creditors, I can’t work anywhere and support four boys being a felon. My child support alone is $600.00 per month, rents are high. I’m supposed to work a child’s job, like your first job washing dishes, or making burgers. I’ll be lucky if I took home $800.00 in a month.
My business is a small consulting agency, I registered through the city of Cranston. My percentage rate on my loans are close to 29%. I don’t even want to look at the bills anymore. Not because I don’t want to pay them, I do, and I have paid back about $3,000.00 so far, out of $16,000 I spent to reopen my business, purchase the necessary tools only. I lost over $30,000 in tools alone, that were passed down to me from when my dad passed away. I work, when I can find clients, as I reopened only Six months ago, My consulting agency www.WebineerSolutions.net specializes in Construction, IT, and Security. None of these fields just start up and do well off the line. Each takes time, and as that time passes, my hole gets deeper. I’m barely holding on to my driver’s license, as the state of Rhode Island wants to take it, because I owe child support.
Even that, they over charged me $20,000 and told me there’s nothing I can do, because I missed one court day. Over 12 years going to family court for reviews of my income, etc. my ex, the mother of my four sons, almost never went. In 12 years, I missed two days, years apart, because I was sick. Well, one of those sick days, cost me $20,000.
I think that’s why one day, I woke up, and knew what I had to do, not for me. I think I’m dead in the water. I googled writing in February of 2014, because I wanted to learn how to write, in a manner, that was clear, and people understood. I found writing.com. Today, I still work on it. One day, I do hope to write novels. I hear Master Story Tellers, make good money.
I spent my last few dollars on materials I need to work, and show others, I will do whatever I have to do, to make sure from one day forward. No one, suffers in a manner such as I have. There are people in prison, who do not belong there. I teach my sons how to be Men, how to talk to their mother, which translates to how to speak to a girl, when they want to. I coordinate community efforts and team activities.
There are many out there like me, and many who do much more. We should not have to fear, a system in which some drunk on pills who slurs in court, can put you away for years, causing you to lose your job, your home, making your family suffer. The judge is the one who told me the laws were poorly written, and his hands were tied. He apologized to me. My mom’s not the same, she’s a nervous wreck, and she tortures me. Every time I walk out the door, she’s afraid I’ll go see the ex, that lied to me, did all of this horrific stuff. Even I am scared, every time I hear a siren, I panic. My mom selling her house and moving near the prison…didn’t help. We hear sirens all the time.
I just want to put the pieces back together, and move forward, and enjoy what little time I have left with mom, who needs assisted living. I am no care taker, but I do my best. I want to make up as much time with my sons as possible. I also need to have DNA testing on the children with this recent ex. But through lawyers and family court. I don’t ever want to see her again. If there’s a chance those kids are mine, we need to know.
To put the cherry on top, I’m a consultant, I have to meet with people, and talk. Well, I just had all my teeth pulled. Moms last loan if you will, between my medical, and mom, I’m able to do this now, now is good only because I have some good teeth to mount plates too. However today, No one’s consulting, with or definitely going with the guy who has four teeth currently. I had the last eight pulled yesterday. I won’t bore you with how much pain I’m in.
I don’t know what else to do. I posted a link for my consulting, that’s what I try to do today for money. Had none of this happened to me, I would easily be making six figures for an income.
This is my writing link below, in which I hope I can be prepared for tomorrow. Just before I went to prison. I was given a gift. I didn’t begin to understand how powerful this gift was, until I was in prison. You see, in prison, there is a shortage of books, literature, reading material in general. During my stay, to pass my time. I began to write short stories.
I started to see lives change, maybe because no one ever did anything for these guys, I really don’t know. I know, I wrote my heart out. Mad max style stories, you know men’s books. I couldn’t write them fast enough these guys were addicted. To learning.
https://www.godaddy.pro/flcomeau
https://FrancisComeau.com
Thank you for reading.
Francis Comeau
Organizer
Francis Comeau
Organizer
Cranston, RI
