Wasting My Miracle

I should have died 4 years ago... 

There is no logical reason that I am still alive. Even my doctors can’t explain it!

Before I go into my story, let me start off by saying that asking for help and sharing this is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I was raised to take care of my family and help others, not ask for help.

My wife and I met when I was stationed at Camp Pendleton, in California. I was scheduled to be deployed 3 months after meeting her, but promised to marry her if she waited for me. A month into my “standard” deployment, September 11th occurred. I was part of the first Marine unit sent in to fight. I feared that I would never make it home to my family, or get to marry my wife. I was one of the lucky ones that made it home, and got to marry my wife and start our lives. 

We decided to forgo a wedding and honeymoon, so we could save up for a home. We worked and saved for 6 years, and finally bought our dream townhouse. It was modest, but it was everything to us. We were so proud... months later we found out that we were expecting a daughter. We continued to work and save, as we awaited her arrival. Unfortunately on February 13, 2010 we lost our daughter to stillbirth. We wondered if we would ever be able to have children, and were blessed again in June 2010. We found out that we were expecting again... this time a son. Unfortunately this joy was short lived, 5 days later I was diagnosed with Melanoma.

My Melanoma battle has been very difficult on everyone that loves me. I went from stage 3, to stage 4 and was told to get my affairs in order. I was given last rights and told to pray for a miracle. I continued to believe and fight. I was surrounded by love and prayers, and got my miracle. I got a second chance at life. 

However during my battle, we lost our townhouse. We discovered it had black mold, and I could not be exposed to it. We had to walk away from our home. We have been in rentals ever since, and have had to deal with moving and rent increases (even in the middle of the hardest part of my treatment). 

We borrowed from our retirement, because at the time life saving drugs (not covered by insurance) and paying utilities seemed worth it. However the IRS fined us heavily, for borrowing from our retirement. We have drained our savings, sold most of our belongings, and typically go without so we can pay back our ever growing IRS debt and medical bills. My wife and I both work 6+ days a week, despite us both being told it is too much by our doctors. I still have to be careful with my health, and my wife has serious autoimmune issues (that being the sole caregiver for me triggered in her). 

Our son lives with the fear of losing both parents, that his sister is dead, and despite our best attempts to hide our financial situation he sees the empty refrigerator.  

This is why I am writing this... this is why it is time to ask for help! We are drowning. There are no more hours to work, no more items to sell, and no one has been able to help us with the IRS or the ever growing medical debt. The debt collectors are very aggressive, and not willing to help anymore. They call 24/7. We are in jeopardy of becoming homeless, and all of our utilities are very past due. We can barely put anything on the table, or drive to work. 

I feel horrible for asking for anything after getting a miracle, but I feel like I am wasting my miracle. Instead of enjoying life and paying my gift forward (all I want to do is visit current patients and let them know there is a chance), we spend our days crying and worrying. I can’t put my family through anymore! Living scan to scan is already stressful. I have already put them through more stress and heartache, than any “normal” family sees. We need to “catch up”. I need to be able to keep a roof over our heads and feed my family. I don’t know where else to turn. 

Thank you for taking a moment to read this.  Any help is appreciated, it doesn’t have to be financial. Prayers and advice help too. Go Fund Me requires an amount entry, so I added up our IRS, part of our current medical bills and utilities.   Basically if we are blessed enough to receive this amount we will be able to breathe a little and almost feel normal. 

Semper Fi-

Justyn Farina 

(and Buckley & Gianni)

https://m.facebook.com/FightingForAWarrior/