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Rebecca has cancer

$2,700 of $10,000 goal

Raised by 30 people in 2 months
34 years old with Colon Cancer....no one ever wants to hear the C word but I have colon cancer. I’m having surgery to remove the mass and hopefully I won’t need chemo afterwards. I’m hate asking anyone for money. I will say that my recovery is going to take some time and I don’t see me being able to work for a while nor do I have insurance and I have bills to pay. Again, I’m hate asking for money but I’ve had a few people ask about donations so that’s why I’m creating this. I do appreciate each and every one of you who has reached out to me.
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I’m sure this will get some people mad at me but it’s been on my mind a lot lately and I’m trying to get rid of negative in my life so I’m going to share anyways.
Growing up I was always told that the small town I grew up in would always be home. I was a part of that community for a very long time and have witnessed the community come together many times for people. Now since both of my grandmas are gone, it doesn’t really feel like home anymore. I guess it hasn’t for a while. I guess when you leave people forget you were ever there. It’s the same with Law Enforcement. They say the “blue line family” is the strongest and closest family there is, but that’s only while you are there and sometimes not even then. I loved being a cop. I loved helping people. I loved everything about it. I loved the way Law Enforcement would come together to help their own. I would give anything to put a uniform on right now and go to work. It’s all I’ve ever known. I don’t know how to do anything else. Since I was diagnosed with cancer, I’ve found out just how lonely this curse can be. That law enforcement family, I don’t exist to them anymore either. I sent the sheriff from my hometown the link to my Law Enforcement cancer awareness shirts and asked if he could share it. He looked at the message and never responded. I wasn’t asking him to buy anything. More than anything I want awareness out there. I’m 34 years old. I’m supposed to be too young for this. The last department I worked for wouldn’t have their national organization in place if it wasn’t for me but they treated me like shit when I was there so it’s really no surprise that the only time I’ve heard from any of them is if they want something.
Please don’t mistake this as me asking for handouts. That’s not the case. Not at all. Even though there are people who say they are there and want to know how I’m doing, they don’t want the truth. They want the generic “I’m doing ok”, they don’t want to know the hell that actually goes through my head daily. The consuming cancer thoughts. The sickness from chemo, and that’s only just begun.
Make no mistake, this isn’t a poor me post. I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself, and I’m not asking people to call all the time either because if you know me, you know I hate talking on the phone but a sincere “how are you” goes a long ways. A share of a post to create awareness goes a long ways. As much as I hate to say it, small donations go a long ways. What I wouldn’t give to put a uniform on and go to work and none of this be real. Maybe this is just my curse, maybe I really am a horrible person and that’s why so many have turned their backs. Maybe my brother is right and I’m just a worthless whore, but I’m still me and I still have feelings and I keep getting told I’m this strong person but I promise you, I hurt. I wouldn’t wish this disease on anyone.
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All I’ve ever known is Law Enforcement, from the time I graduated high school all I’ve ever done is law enforcement or security jobs. I’ve seen many instances where the “blue line family” was real. I’ve been in communities where everyone would come together for a brother or sister they didn’t even know, because that’s what we do. Well that’s what we did. More and more I see the “blue line family” is not as strong as it used to be. I think most don’t notice until they are forgotten.
I’m a 34 year old single mom who was already having a hard time with needing a hip replacement and now I’ve been diagnosed with cancer. All I want is to be healthy again and be able to work. I’ve never not worked and now I have 6 months of chemo ahead of me.
I realize I’m not at home anymore, and maybe that’s why I’ve been forgotten by all my blue line family (with the exception of one department that I never worked for) But I never forgot them. I’m not taking about just financially, it would be nice to get messages asking how I am occasionally. I know I’m not always social and I don’t keep In touch like I should either. I’m just lonely and Maybe I’m petty, and I’m sure I’m judged by this but just because I’m gone doesn’t mean I don’t still care. I hope everyone has a good Christmas.
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So... oncologist appointment didn’t go as hoped. Final pathology showed that one little Full blown cancer cell had spread into a lymph node and started doing his own thing and that the original mass was very invasive and had gone all the way through the colon wall into the fat tissues. So even though they are still pretty sure they got it all with surgery just to be on the safe side, it looks like chemo it is. I start 6 months of chemo treatments on January 7th. Happy new year to me. I’m still positive though and the doc thinks this is the best option to prevent recurrence so I will do what he says. I wholeheartedly believe the lord put me here with these doctors for a reason.
#coloncancersucks
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Looks like I may get to go home tomorrow! Mike and Megan found me a walker to use and I can get around a lot easier so I’m gonna break out of this place! 8 days in the hospital I’m ready to go. Still waiting on pathology reports to know if I’m going to have to have Chemotherapy or not. Praying for not but if it comes back that I do then we will take it one day at a time. I again want to say thank you for all of the support. It means the world to me.
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$2,700 of $10,000 goal

Raised by 30 people in 2 months
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