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Mental Health Treatment

*trigger warning*

I used to smile, laugh, hug everyone I met. I had goals and ambition to match. I was fearless. When my adolescence was taken from me, so were the small issues that used to worry me. In my short adult life I’ve been through things that I don’t wish for anyone in the world. It became too much for me to handle. I've stopped smiling. My heart, mind, and soul are shattered. It was all so overwhelming, that in 2016, I attempted suicide...twice. I stayed in the local pavilion three times after those incidents. The second attempt was so bad that I aspirated my own vomit and ended up with a terrible case of pneumonia. I couldn’t sit up in a chair, let alone walk. I worked really hard to heal my body but I still have three inhalers and a lung that isn’t fond me anymore. The past year after those attempts, I’ve had either a panic or anxiety attack at least once a day and sometimes I idealize the idea of suicide again. Outpatient treatments have not worked, and the pavilion does not provide the type of treatments that help prolong recovery. I would like to try a different treatment option, however, there has been no luck obtaining assistance for people like me, especially without insurance. I want to get better, but I’m drowning every single day. I immerse myself in activities I think will help, but they don't. I am lost and desperate for help. I’m asking for your hope, your prayers, and if you are able, a donation towards finding me treatment that may be able to save my life. I really want to be better, but I need help. I'm making this public now because more important than the embarrassment, shame, and the stigma attached, I'm tired of feeling like a burden, like I can't leave my own home, I'm tired of the exhaustion that comes along with this. I want my family to see me as someone who fought and was victorious, not as a failure. Please and thank you in advance for your prayers.

Organizer

Amanda G
Organizer
Amarillo, TX

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