Our Dream through IVF

Our Journey to our Dreams

Before you read on I want to thank you in advance for clicking on this and considering donating for our number 1 dream.

For the past eight and a half years my husband and I have been counting each day, each month, and each year that goes by without children of our own.

When we decided to try to start a family of our own, I had it all planned out in my mind. My husband and I thought it would happen within the first year. When that year flew by with no luck, I went to the doctor just to make sure there was no medical issue preventing us from conceiving. The doctors found nothing that would impede us and told us that for some it just takes a little longer.

We then went on with our normal routines continuing to hope and pray we would become pregnant soon. To our dismay, another year went by with nothing. Each week that passed felt like years. Determined to find answers, we went back to the doctor multiple times over the next two year. We did 6 cycles of Clomid, home remedies and herbal supplements with no results in the end. Within those two years it felt liked everyone around me was conceiving a precious gift. Going to each baby shower became a chore I dreaded. All I could think about was when it would be my turn. Would I ever get a turn?

My family and friends would tell me my time was coming. I just had to relax, be patient, and it would happen. That is easier said than done. I didn't want to wait any longer. At this point it seemed as though everything around me was about babies! Everything I saw on TV, billboards, the radio, and most conversations had something to do with babies. I was also the last person to find out if someone I knew was pregnant because my family and friends were scared that my feelings would get hurt or I would be mad at them. I wasn't mad at them; I was upset at the fact that it was not me making the announcement that I was pregnant! I kept asking myself, "Why not me? Why not now?" the feeling of emptiness that I feel from a text or a message saying "I need to talk to you or I have something to tell you" Knowing it was the news of a new pregnancy. I absolutely believe that all things happen for a reason. It has been agonizing to wait for that reason to be revealed.

In 2010 I had my doctor refer me to a fertility specialist who promptly diagnosed me as unexplained infertility. During that year we decided to proceed with two IUI's. I honestly had confidence in the success of the first procedure using medication Clomid. However I also knew it was not guaranteed, none of these procedures are. When the first procedure of Clomid failed, we tried injections. For some reason I had more hope this time. I believe it was because my family helped me out with the payments for injections and the procedure. In the end I was wrong and that failed as well. The whole situation got to be overwhelming to me and I broke down. This is when I sat myself down, though about it, and came to the conclusion that this was it. We couldn't go on like this, it was consuming me. I couldn't do this to myself any longer. I have to live my life happy without children of my own. Even though I never give up on anything and I am the type of person that keeps going until I reach my goal, I knew that I was hurting myself with disappointment. In the end we decided not to move forward with the third IUI, which I felt was more than likely not going to work.

I have one godson, two nieces and one nephew; everyone says those are just as good as my own. Nevertheless, I still can't keep myself from wishing that I could go through my own pregnancy. You see, it's not just having a baby that I long for , it's all the little things that I want to go through, even the unpleasant ones, it's the first kick, the sleepless nights, talking and singing to my belly. It's my husband putting his hand on my belly and picking the name together. It's the excitement of wondering if it's a boy or girl. It's all the doctor's appointments and all the scared and hills and bumps. It's watching a person that you conceived grow inside of you and the feeling of happiness that you get when you deliver and looking into the eyes of your own child. It's the look of achievement on our faces when we hold our newborn child.

I find myself still wishing for a family, wanting it more than anything. Watching all my family and friends children grow up together wondering when mine will come or if it will happen. I often think what my world would be like with my own children, the family dinners, and family talks. Watching the sports my children will play, the late night studying, even carpooling are things I yearn for. When I was a little girl I dreamed of a big family of my own. That dream will never go away.

Now it is 2013 and for the past two years I have been working two jobs my full time job and my part time job saving money for IVF estimated cost is 14,000.00 for my IVF. As most of you know that I am a very hard worker but there comes a time were you get worn out and I am to that point this is the part that I need help with I hate to ask for help but I do just like everyone else sometimes you just need a little help.

I'm asking you family, friends and strangers to please help Bobby and I fulfill our dream of becoming parents to a child that we have wanted for so long.



Thank you for reading and we love all of you!!!!!