Greg Ruprecht's PTSD Fundraiser
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Greg Ruprecht is a great friend and a great person. He's also a police officer with fourteen years of experience as a Patrol Officer, Gang Unit Officer, SWAT Sniper, Defensive Tactics Instructor, Less Lethal Munitions Instructor, Firearms Instructor, Fitness Instructor and as a presenter within the local school district through the Play-It-safe program.
Greg began experiencing symptoms of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder (PTSD) in 2006, but began having more serious symptoms in the fall of 2015. That is when his PTSD symptoms began affecting the safety of the public and the reputation of the Longmont Department of Public Safety. On several occasions while on-duty, Greg "blacked out" while engaging with less than cooperative criminal suspects, coming back to his senses (reality) after a physical altercation was resolved. Greg describes "blacking out" as not having any conscious knowledge of his actions. He was simply "not there mentally." He would only realize what he was doing after he what he likened to waking up and opening his eyes, wondering "what just happened? How did I end up in this position with this person?" For Greg it was never a case of him getting so angry that his anger took control. As you can most likely understand, Greg was very concerned with what was happening to him. Greg's wife explained he had also done similar things, however non-violent, while at home. She said he would sit and "rant very mean things" sometimes for hours, with no later recollection of the incidents. She admitted she and their daughter have been scared of him for years. Greg's wife, a therapist, told him to seek professional mental health intervention, but he was hard-headed and refused. Greg believed "it" would pass and everything would be OK. He actively avoided work that had a high likelihood of angry, aggressive people being present out of fear of having another "blackout." Most who know Greg also know that isn't his normal work ethic.
In mid-April, 2016, Greg responded to a call of a not conscious, not breathing, five year-old girl. The little girl was deceased. After she was placed into the ambulance and for the first time in his fourteen year policing career, Greg walked away with tears streaming down his face. After gathering his wits, he was assigned to guard the little girl's body at the hospital. Her family was allowed to enter the room and sit with her. At one point, the little girl's mother began mimicking the CPR Greg and another officer had performed at their home. Greg had to leave the room due to overwhelming emotions. He spent some time in the Emergency Room bathroom trying to regain his composure. Once he thought he had gained composure, he exited the bathroom and was asked if he would attend the fire, police and ER staff debrief held down the hall. Greg believes at that point he was in a "blacked out" state, only coming back to conscious thought after hearing himself decline the debrief with the words, "I'll slit throats!" Greg was scared of what he heard himself say and left the hospital.
Afterwards Greg spoke with his wife on the telephone. She immediately told him, "Something just changes in you" and asked him to come home, but of course he didn't. When he did go home, Greg and his wife talked about what happened and she asked him to seek immediate help. Once again, he declined and moved on.
Two weeks later, while standing near another officer who was simply speaking to a set of parents who had concerns about their daughter, Greg began to have what he thought were symptoms of a heart attack. He was transported to the hospital via an ambulance a short time later. He was told by the medical personnel that his heart was in great shape and he most likely had acid reflux. The following morning Greg's wife asked him if he knew what "really" caused the heart attack symptoms. Greg didn't know, but he was confident that is wasn't acid reflux. She shared that she believed Greg "had a panic attack." He agreed with her, but was confused because he had never had a panic attack before and the situation he was involved in wasn't stressful. They both agreed Greg needed to go to his doctor as soon as possible.
After explaining what happened in great detail to his primary care physician, the doctor walked Greg straight to the Psychologist's office. After repeating what happened, the Psychologist immediately told Greg he had severe PTSD. He was told he was a danger to the public and was not be be in uniform or in contact with the public for at least six months. Greg and his family took a three week vacation and he began treatment upon returning to Colorado. The psychology professional treating Greg assumed that his PTSD was the result of his military service 25 years prior. Unfortunately, she didn't take the time to get to know Greg before beginning treatment. Initially Greg thought the treatment was helping as it allowed him to recall more details about the time he served in Desert Storm, but Greg never believed those experiences were the cause of his symptoms. Greg's life began to spiral out of control. He couldn't leave the interior of the Safety and Justice Center (S&J) without severe panic attacks and physical symptoms setting in. He felt normal and safe at home, within the S&J and within the community where he lives. That all changed quickly however. Very soon he experienced severe symptoms around people he didn't know in any city. Finally, Greg was unable to leave his own home, not even to go into his own fenced backyard, without experiencing the onset of a panic attack. Greg perceived that everyone he saw who he didn't know as an imminent threat and was getting ready to attack him. This is no joke, but instead the reality Greg was living in. Throughout this quick decline Greg began to have irrational suicidal ideations on a regular basis. For example, after trying to exit his backdoor to check on his dog, Greg froze at the door and watched a video play out in his mind, during which he continued onto the deck, placed a noose around his neck and threw himself off the edge. When Greg shared what had happened with his wife they both knew he needed to be somewhere safe and quickly! He needed intensive treatment not available through his insurance outpatient services. Greg learned through his own research of just the place where he needed to go. Because he couldn't fly without having an "attack", Greg drove to Arizona to a private in-patient psychiatric facility. Although the treatment was not covered by his insurance, Greg needed to do this for himself and for his family. The facility he went to has an excellent reputation, one of the best in fact, with 35 years in Trauma Psychiatry.
Greg received fantastic treatment! His symptoms lessened, but as the Psychiatrist and medial team said, "it was not a cure." He was diagnosed with Dissociative Amnesia, the official term for his "blackouts", as well as Major Depressive Disorder-Severe.
Upon returning home Greg has been able to function almost normally within his home community and he is receiving prescribed local follow-up weekly. His insurance doesn't offer the very specific, very expensive treatment Greg needs, so he has to pay for it out of his own pocket. Due to Greg's symptomatic behavior and his absence during treatment, his wife and daughter are also in therapy in order to learn how to live with someone with PTSD, Dissociative Amnesia and his Major Disorder-Severe. To add to the impact Greg and his family's request for insurance coverage for the treatment continues to be denied and his associated bills are piling up.
Greg is not ashamed. By sharing his story Greg hopes to encourage younger officer and dispatchers to take preventative mental health seriously in an effort to avoid having to engage in a similar battle. He also hopes it will open the eyes of the seasoned officers and dispatchers to the reality of this issue and maybe influence them to monitor themselves and seek help if needed. Greg's future as a police officer is unknown at this time. PTSD is treatable, but each person has different results. Each day brings some sort of struggle. Greg is currently dependent on his medications, his wife and daughter love him, but fear what he might do. That is the hardest part for him to deal with.
Please share this message with whomever you like. Email it, post if on Facebook, read it aloud as you walk down the street, whatever you can do to share it. Why is Greg so adamant about sharing his story? Here is why. Greg was a hard-charging, fearless, aggressive and righteous seeking police officer. He thought nothing he did or witnessed bothered him in the least bit. He was strong, confident and able to take on any challenge or person in his path. He has always been there for his fellow officers and performed bravely and skillfully during all situations. His cup filled up and over-flowed following the death of the five year-old child, reducing him, who he thought he was, into a complete anxious, nervous mess, panic attack experiencing, recluse who now fears confrontation due to his inability to know if he will "blackout" and ruin his live, his family's life, the reputation of his department, and the reputation of the policing profession. Let his story help us increase our knowledge about Police-related PTSD and help to remove the stigma of the issue.
As I said at the beginning, Greg is a great friend and a great person. I know because he helped me through a hard time in my life. I know Greg has touched the lives of many more people. I want to show my appreciation for Greg and I'm asking you to help too. How? By helping him with the financial burden that comes with his battle against PTSD.
Thank you!!
Greg began experiencing symptoms of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder (PTSD) in 2006, but began having more serious symptoms in the fall of 2015. That is when his PTSD symptoms began affecting the safety of the public and the reputation of the Longmont Department of Public Safety. On several occasions while on-duty, Greg "blacked out" while engaging with less than cooperative criminal suspects, coming back to his senses (reality) after a physical altercation was resolved. Greg describes "blacking out" as not having any conscious knowledge of his actions. He was simply "not there mentally." He would only realize what he was doing after he what he likened to waking up and opening his eyes, wondering "what just happened? How did I end up in this position with this person?" For Greg it was never a case of him getting so angry that his anger took control. As you can most likely understand, Greg was very concerned with what was happening to him. Greg's wife explained he had also done similar things, however non-violent, while at home. She said he would sit and "rant very mean things" sometimes for hours, with no later recollection of the incidents. She admitted she and their daughter have been scared of him for years. Greg's wife, a therapist, told him to seek professional mental health intervention, but he was hard-headed and refused. Greg believed "it" would pass and everything would be OK. He actively avoided work that had a high likelihood of angry, aggressive people being present out of fear of having another "blackout." Most who know Greg also know that isn't his normal work ethic.
In mid-April, 2016, Greg responded to a call of a not conscious, not breathing, five year-old girl. The little girl was deceased. After she was placed into the ambulance and for the first time in his fourteen year policing career, Greg walked away with tears streaming down his face. After gathering his wits, he was assigned to guard the little girl's body at the hospital. Her family was allowed to enter the room and sit with her. At one point, the little girl's mother began mimicking the CPR Greg and another officer had performed at their home. Greg had to leave the room due to overwhelming emotions. He spent some time in the Emergency Room bathroom trying to regain his composure. Once he thought he had gained composure, he exited the bathroom and was asked if he would attend the fire, police and ER staff debrief held down the hall. Greg believes at that point he was in a "blacked out" state, only coming back to conscious thought after hearing himself decline the debrief with the words, "I'll slit throats!" Greg was scared of what he heard himself say and left the hospital.
Afterwards Greg spoke with his wife on the telephone. She immediately told him, "Something just changes in you" and asked him to come home, but of course he didn't. When he did go home, Greg and his wife talked about what happened and she asked him to seek immediate help. Once again, he declined and moved on.
Two weeks later, while standing near another officer who was simply speaking to a set of parents who had concerns about their daughter, Greg began to have what he thought were symptoms of a heart attack. He was transported to the hospital via an ambulance a short time later. He was told by the medical personnel that his heart was in great shape and he most likely had acid reflux. The following morning Greg's wife asked him if he knew what "really" caused the heart attack symptoms. Greg didn't know, but he was confident that is wasn't acid reflux. She shared that she believed Greg "had a panic attack." He agreed with her, but was confused because he had never had a panic attack before and the situation he was involved in wasn't stressful. They both agreed Greg needed to go to his doctor as soon as possible.
After explaining what happened in great detail to his primary care physician, the doctor walked Greg straight to the Psychologist's office. After repeating what happened, the Psychologist immediately told Greg he had severe PTSD. He was told he was a danger to the public and was not be be in uniform or in contact with the public for at least six months. Greg and his family took a three week vacation and he began treatment upon returning to Colorado. The psychology professional treating Greg assumed that his PTSD was the result of his military service 25 years prior. Unfortunately, she didn't take the time to get to know Greg before beginning treatment. Initially Greg thought the treatment was helping as it allowed him to recall more details about the time he served in Desert Storm, but Greg never believed those experiences were the cause of his symptoms. Greg's life began to spiral out of control. He couldn't leave the interior of the Safety and Justice Center (S&J) without severe panic attacks and physical symptoms setting in. He felt normal and safe at home, within the S&J and within the community where he lives. That all changed quickly however. Very soon he experienced severe symptoms around people he didn't know in any city. Finally, Greg was unable to leave his own home, not even to go into his own fenced backyard, without experiencing the onset of a panic attack. Greg perceived that everyone he saw who he didn't know as an imminent threat and was getting ready to attack him. This is no joke, but instead the reality Greg was living in. Throughout this quick decline Greg began to have irrational suicidal ideations on a regular basis. For example, after trying to exit his backdoor to check on his dog, Greg froze at the door and watched a video play out in his mind, during which he continued onto the deck, placed a noose around his neck and threw himself off the edge. When Greg shared what had happened with his wife they both knew he needed to be somewhere safe and quickly! He needed intensive treatment not available through his insurance outpatient services. Greg learned through his own research of just the place where he needed to go. Because he couldn't fly without having an "attack", Greg drove to Arizona to a private in-patient psychiatric facility. Although the treatment was not covered by his insurance, Greg needed to do this for himself and for his family. The facility he went to has an excellent reputation, one of the best in fact, with 35 years in Trauma Psychiatry.
Greg received fantastic treatment! His symptoms lessened, but as the Psychiatrist and medial team said, "it was not a cure." He was diagnosed with Dissociative Amnesia, the official term for his "blackouts", as well as Major Depressive Disorder-Severe.
Upon returning home Greg has been able to function almost normally within his home community and he is receiving prescribed local follow-up weekly. His insurance doesn't offer the very specific, very expensive treatment Greg needs, so he has to pay for it out of his own pocket. Due to Greg's symptomatic behavior and his absence during treatment, his wife and daughter are also in therapy in order to learn how to live with someone with PTSD, Dissociative Amnesia and his Major Disorder-Severe. To add to the impact Greg and his family's request for insurance coverage for the treatment continues to be denied and his associated bills are piling up.
Greg is not ashamed. By sharing his story Greg hopes to encourage younger officer and dispatchers to take preventative mental health seriously in an effort to avoid having to engage in a similar battle. He also hopes it will open the eyes of the seasoned officers and dispatchers to the reality of this issue and maybe influence them to monitor themselves and seek help if needed. Greg's future as a police officer is unknown at this time. PTSD is treatable, but each person has different results. Each day brings some sort of struggle. Greg is currently dependent on his medications, his wife and daughter love him, but fear what he might do. That is the hardest part for him to deal with.
Please share this message with whomever you like. Email it, post if on Facebook, read it aloud as you walk down the street, whatever you can do to share it. Why is Greg so adamant about sharing his story? Here is why. Greg was a hard-charging, fearless, aggressive and righteous seeking police officer. He thought nothing he did or witnessed bothered him in the least bit. He was strong, confident and able to take on any challenge or person in his path. He has always been there for his fellow officers and performed bravely and skillfully during all situations. His cup filled up and over-flowed following the death of the five year-old child, reducing him, who he thought he was, into a complete anxious, nervous mess, panic attack experiencing, recluse who now fears confrontation due to his inability to know if he will "blackout" and ruin his live, his family's life, the reputation of his department, and the reputation of the policing profession. Let his story help us increase our knowledge about Police-related PTSD and help to remove the stigma of the issue.
As I said at the beginning, Greg is a great friend and a great person. I know because he helped me through a hard time in my life. I know Greg has touched the lives of many more people. I want to show my appreciation for Greg and I'm asking you to help too. How? By helping him with the financial burden that comes with his battle against PTSD.
Thank you!!
Organizer and beneficiary
Chris Schmad
Organizer
Berthoud, CO
Gregory Reinhardt-Ruprecht
Beneficiary
