Dream to Adopt
Donation protected
Our story is one of loss, strength, perseverance, and hope. My husband and I have always desired to have a family; luckily we have Darian, Ryan's son from a previous relationship. I love Darian as my own and am so thankful that he was put in my life and has brought some much joy in our life. When Ryan and I decided to expand our family we were met with many difficulties. Unfortunately, many women know this familiar word all too well, miscarriage. I came to know it well, twice. Between my two miscarriages I experienced the loss of my Mother at the of age 62. So, 2014 was the loss of motherhood all around for me, I lost the ability to become a mother and the one who nurtured me and unconditionally loved me was gone--tragically, traumatically, and swiftly.
2015, was full of loss and a test of strength for our family as well. Ryan's mother was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of bone cancer, MD Anderson removed a cantaloupe sized tumor from her hip & thigh bone and she began an intensive Chemo treatment. During this time, we thought it was best for her and my father in-law to move in with us. They were living in Galveston at the time with her Father, helping to take care of him. MD Anderson was closer to us and she needed a place where she would not worry about others and be able to heal. As Ryan's Mother was in MD Anderson, we would visit my Mother's brother, Prinitis at Methodist Hospital, he was very sick and Doctors could not tell us a plan of action fast enough, unfortunately for our family, he passed away in April at age 57, leaving us heartbroken and left with no answers that would give us peace. In July, Ryan's grandfather passed away and his absence leaves such a hole in our family. During this time, Ryan's father was in and out of the hospital about as much as his mother, he would spend long weeks there, and struggled to get to a place of feeling well. These two years, were full of so much loss and sadness. It was so hard to see any joy.
In 2016, we decided to try to expand our family again, but this time through adoption. We started the process with Caring Adoptions at the end of January. But, then in February that excitement was put on hold for that familiar feeling of horror. My Mother’s youngest brother Bruce had a massive heart attack at 53. We rushed to Louisiana to be by his side. I was so used to the sight of life support and ICU surrounding my loved ones. This was not what scared me! It was that this man who walked me down the aisle and loved me unconditionally will no longer be in my life. My family is disappearing and I had no control over anything! This concept was proven to me more over the past two years and now going on 3 years than ever in my life. No control! So I did something, that if I am being super honest I did not do with anyone else. I prayed over Bruce and trusted in God’s plan, I just knew that it was not his time to go. No matter what the Doctors were telling us. I did not believe in them, I believed in HIM. Today, my Uncle Bruce is doing amazing. He has gone through heart surgery, rehab, leg surgeries, and many other challenging obstacles. But he is alive and well!
We were approved and ready to seek out birth mothers in March. The day we were approved an opportunity was sent to us and we accepted. For the next few months we did everything we could for our birth mother, because in my mind and heart I wanted her to know just how much we loved her and how grateful we were for the ultimate sacrifice she was making for us. We did so much extra on top of the agreed upon birth mother expenses, that eventually increased over the agreed amount. This was not money that was easily spent, this was the money that was meant to honor my mother and we thought it was going to such a great cause.
And then the day finally came, her C section was moved from mid-July to end of June. Thanks to some hard work, and our friends and family, our home was fully stocked with baby supplies. Her nursery was complete, the stroller was assembled, the car seat ready to go. Our birth mother felt unprepared so we did all we could to help her—paid her bills, prepared her a hospital bag, and paid for her father to come to be with her. We were not going to let anything bad happen to our birth mother or our daughter. She did not have any family show up on the day of the birth, not even her father who we paid to have come in. So I was in the OR with her alone, to be there with her and to watch this precious baby being born. As soon as she is born, I hold her in my arms and instantly fall in love. The doctors and nurses are so happy for me, and take so many pictures of us in the OR. I take the baby to our birth mother and we cry together, as I tell her what a great job she has done. The birth mother needed to stay longer in the OR, so I get to take the baby out to meet my husband and my son. It’s the same, instantly they fall in love, how can you not? She is perfect. We get a room two doors down from the birth mother. We visit with her and laugh with her, and we spend as much time as we can with this perfect new baby. We Facetime with our loved ones, take so many pictures, we feed her and change her and fall more and more in love with her every minute. The feelings I am feeling with this baby in my arms, are indescribable. As part of the adoption process, the birth mother is given 48 hours before the papers are signed.
On Tuesday, the next day, the birth mother texts us first thing in the morning to come and get the baby and spend time with her. We keep her in our room for a few hours and then we go back to the birth mother’s room to spend time with them both. Then the hospital social worker comes in and asks us to step out of the room. We take the baby to our room and hours pass. We enjoy every second we have with our little angel, but something seemed off. Something was not right, why was the hospital social worker in the room? So we called the adoption agency and spoke to our case worker. And what she said hit us like a ton of bricks. Our birth mother was changing her mind. I don’t believe it. We just saw her. She called my baby girl Hazel, named after my mother. It can’t be possible. Our case worker tells us birth mother feels she is now financially stable and can take care of the baby. What do you mean financially stable? On Sunday, she was begging us for more money to get her Dad here and sending me a detailed list of what she has to have in her hospital bag, no off brand items.
My heart feels like it has fallen out of my chest. I wanted to leave the hospital at that moment. I felt like I was suffocating and had to stay two doors down from my dream. But, we prayed and waited anxiously for the 48 hours to be up and hoped that her change of mind would not prove to be true. We somehow finally fall asleep and wake to the sun on our faces. We silently pack our bags and wait in the down stairs waiting room, because I don’t want to be upstairs in that hospital room when I hear the news. After she refuses to see our social worker, she says “she is taking baby home!” They said it to me so matter-of-factly. I thought I was going to throw up, I wanted to run. Ryan gets our stuff, and we walk out of the hospital with the floral baby dress and car seat, both items not being filled with a baby. However, my eyes are filled with tears and I cannot hold back the pain I am feeling. As we wait for our car at valet I sob into Ryan’s arm.
It is now October, and we have been chosen again by another birth mother! This is another little girl and she will be named Olivia Hazel, she is due in December. We have worked very hard to make this adoption work financially, applying for grants and loans, getting extra jobs, starting this page, and trying to get the attention of Ellen!! We are not ready to give up on this new birth mother, because we have seen how terrible it can be. This birth mother is pretty amazing. I already see such an awesome difference between the two. She has a plan for her life and education is key for her and her children. I want more than anything to stay with her. We are so ready to be parents to this sweet girl, we are ready for our rainbow at the end of the storm. We have worked vigorously to share our story on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook. Adoption is a beautiful thing, we feel that our story needs to be heard for many reasons, but mainly because there can be a very exhaustive and heart breaking side to adoption.
Being teachers, our students have really picked up our tweets and started to share them and are sharing our YouTube video! The love our students are showing us, with sharing our story and our hashtag #snellymeetelle has been incredibly humbling and heartwarming! We are so grateful for the careers we have and the students we get to teach and work with every day! If all else fails, we know that our family, friends, students, coworkers, and even strangers care for us and we can be humbled feeling that.
Please help us to fund the rest of our adoption! I promise, we will love this child forever and with our everything!
2015, was full of loss and a test of strength for our family as well. Ryan's mother was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of bone cancer, MD Anderson removed a cantaloupe sized tumor from her hip & thigh bone and she began an intensive Chemo treatment. During this time, we thought it was best for her and my father in-law to move in with us. They were living in Galveston at the time with her Father, helping to take care of him. MD Anderson was closer to us and she needed a place where she would not worry about others and be able to heal. As Ryan's Mother was in MD Anderson, we would visit my Mother's brother, Prinitis at Methodist Hospital, he was very sick and Doctors could not tell us a plan of action fast enough, unfortunately for our family, he passed away in April at age 57, leaving us heartbroken and left with no answers that would give us peace. In July, Ryan's grandfather passed away and his absence leaves such a hole in our family. During this time, Ryan's father was in and out of the hospital about as much as his mother, he would spend long weeks there, and struggled to get to a place of feeling well. These two years, were full of so much loss and sadness. It was so hard to see any joy.
In 2016, we decided to try to expand our family again, but this time through adoption. We started the process with Caring Adoptions at the end of January. But, then in February that excitement was put on hold for that familiar feeling of horror. My Mother’s youngest brother Bruce had a massive heart attack at 53. We rushed to Louisiana to be by his side. I was so used to the sight of life support and ICU surrounding my loved ones. This was not what scared me! It was that this man who walked me down the aisle and loved me unconditionally will no longer be in my life. My family is disappearing and I had no control over anything! This concept was proven to me more over the past two years and now going on 3 years than ever in my life. No control! So I did something, that if I am being super honest I did not do with anyone else. I prayed over Bruce and trusted in God’s plan, I just knew that it was not his time to go. No matter what the Doctors were telling us. I did not believe in them, I believed in HIM. Today, my Uncle Bruce is doing amazing. He has gone through heart surgery, rehab, leg surgeries, and many other challenging obstacles. But he is alive and well!
We were approved and ready to seek out birth mothers in March. The day we were approved an opportunity was sent to us and we accepted. For the next few months we did everything we could for our birth mother, because in my mind and heart I wanted her to know just how much we loved her and how grateful we were for the ultimate sacrifice she was making for us. We did so much extra on top of the agreed upon birth mother expenses, that eventually increased over the agreed amount. This was not money that was easily spent, this was the money that was meant to honor my mother and we thought it was going to such a great cause.
And then the day finally came, her C section was moved from mid-July to end of June. Thanks to some hard work, and our friends and family, our home was fully stocked with baby supplies. Her nursery was complete, the stroller was assembled, the car seat ready to go. Our birth mother felt unprepared so we did all we could to help her—paid her bills, prepared her a hospital bag, and paid for her father to come to be with her. We were not going to let anything bad happen to our birth mother or our daughter. She did not have any family show up on the day of the birth, not even her father who we paid to have come in. So I was in the OR with her alone, to be there with her and to watch this precious baby being born. As soon as she is born, I hold her in my arms and instantly fall in love. The doctors and nurses are so happy for me, and take so many pictures of us in the OR. I take the baby to our birth mother and we cry together, as I tell her what a great job she has done. The birth mother needed to stay longer in the OR, so I get to take the baby out to meet my husband and my son. It’s the same, instantly they fall in love, how can you not? She is perfect. We get a room two doors down from the birth mother. We visit with her and laugh with her, and we spend as much time as we can with this perfect new baby. We Facetime with our loved ones, take so many pictures, we feed her and change her and fall more and more in love with her every minute. The feelings I am feeling with this baby in my arms, are indescribable. As part of the adoption process, the birth mother is given 48 hours before the papers are signed.
On Tuesday, the next day, the birth mother texts us first thing in the morning to come and get the baby and spend time with her. We keep her in our room for a few hours and then we go back to the birth mother’s room to spend time with them both. Then the hospital social worker comes in and asks us to step out of the room. We take the baby to our room and hours pass. We enjoy every second we have with our little angel, but something seemed off. Something was not right, why was the hospital social worker in the room? So we called the adoption agency and spoke to our case worker. And what she said hit us like a ton of bricks. Our birth mother was changing her mind. I don’t believe it. We just saw her. She called my baby girl Hazel, named after my mother. It can’t be possible. Our case worker tells us birth mother feels she is now financially stable and can take care of the baby. What do you mean financially stable? On Sunday, she was begging us for more money to get her Dad here and sending me a detailed list of what she has to have in her hospital bag, no off brand items.
My heart feels like it has fallen out of my chest. I wanted to leave the hospital at that moment. I felt like I was suffocating and had to stay two doors down from my dream. But, we prayed and waited anxiously for the 48 hours to be up and hoped that her change of mind would not prove to be true. We somehow finally fall asleep and wake to the sun on our faces. We silently pack our bags and wait in the down stairs waiting room, because I don’t want to be upstairs in that hospital room when I hear the news. After she refuses to see our social worker, she says “she is taking baby home!” They said it to me so matter-of-factly. I thought I was going to throw up, I wanted to run. Ryan gets our stuff, and we walk out of the hospital with the floral baby dress and car seat, both items not being filled with a baby. However, my eyes are filled with tears and I cannot hold back the pain I am feeling. As we wait for our car at valet I sob into Ryan’s arm.
It is now October, and we have been chosen again by another birth mother! This is another little girl and she will be named Olivia Hazel, she is due in December. We have worked very hard to make this adoption work financially, applying for grants and loans, getting extra jobs, starting this page, and trying to get the attention of Ellen!! We are not ready to give up on this new birth mother, because we have seen how terrible it can be. This birth mother is pretty amazing. I already see such an awesome difference between the two. She has a plan for her life and education is key for her and her children. I want more than anything to stay with her. We are so ready to be parents to this sweet girl, we are ready for our rainbow at the end of the storm. We have worked vigorously to share our story on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook. Adoption is a beautiful thing, we feel that our story needs to be heard for many reasons, but mainly because there can be a very exhaustive and heart breaking side to adoption.
Being teachers, our students have really picked up our tweets and started to share them and are sharing our YouTube video! The love our students are showing us, with sharing our story and our hashtag #snellymeetelle has been incredibly humbling and heartwarming! We are so grateful for the careers we have and the students we get to teach and work with every day! If all else fails, we know that our family, friends, students, coworkers, and even strangers care for us and we can be humbled feeling that.
Please help us to fund the rest of our adoption! I promise, we will love this child forever and with our everything!
Organizer
Cara Snell
Organizer
Richmond, TX
