Being lost, being alone and feeling hopeless is something I would never want anyone to experience! Why? Because that is where I am at this moment and am alone with 3 young children that have disability; both of my sons have ADHD&ADD and my daughter has a global delay in her development, she cannot walk nor talk and she just turned 5 years old, and on top of all this I was abused, robbed, and having someone that i trusted making me to believe something that wasn't real which lead me into the worst crisis ever, and my name and life feels crash.
My name is Anna, I been searching on the web for financial help and found a few websites, stating to reach out to the rich people, which I have and am not going to count on that as they got millions of letters, and knowing my luck is not so lucky the best I can do is try. I will tell you as shortest as I can about me and why I am asking for help, I won't get into a lot of detail has it causes too much pain to even remember or to even think about it, so I try to be clearly as I can. Wow I don't know where to begin; I can write a novel about this....anyway,
This is my first time doing something like this, I never thought I would come to this point as I don't like asking anyone for money, I "was" an independent woman, but now I am pretty much despite enough to ask for money. And it makes me sad and it feels weird, and embarrassed, but to this point where I know I need help and I need to stop lying to myself that everything will get better, because it's not it's getting worse day by day and I have my children with me that I love in the whole wide world, and am sick in tired of them seeing me cry or being sad, it hurts them, they told me, so I told myself asking for help one time in your life is okay we are humans and sometimes people hit rock bottom, and I am under rock bottom alone with 3 young children, and it's hard to put my head up when I get callers asking for money, or my daughter daycare telling me she can't go in full time because there is no more money to fund for her due to her age or realizing my sons are acting strange and the doctor telling me bad news or to their fathers lying to me, abusing me or calling me the worst names in front of them, or putting me into the worst dept ever, making me to believe something so they could get what they want using my credit cards and promising me lies. At this point I feel ashamed and I should have been smarter, and I have no one to run too, only to run to the corner of my room, sitting down, holding myself tight thinking what to do next, this is what I go through every day. This is my last opinion My LAST HOPE. I just want someone to hear me out and help me to give me a second chance in life just me and my kids, I just want a second chance I really do!!!
I am a strong women I been through the worst you cant imagine but I kept going and stood up with my head up... Yes I had moments I just cry and cry and cannot stop, but I still kept going, I am a single mother of 3 young children age, 5, 7, and 10. I had my first child in grade 12 on march 19, 2003, i was in grade 12 when I had him I took one week of school went right back and graduate with honours. I believe in rising a child you must be successful and to be successful you must finish school and become something. After that I didn't really know what I wanted to become but I had a big interest for medical, so I went to BCIT college and studied medical office assistance, which I would take this class over and over I just loved it, but when I worked in a medical office, it wasn't a work place I wanted to be in.
I had my second child in 2006 and all throughout my pregnancy I was destroyed during my son's birth on the same day his father did not show up to see him during delivery nor seen him at all. Not knowing that he was at home packing and he took my safe that I had been saving for 2 years not sure on the exact amount but it was a few thousand dollars, and he had token my gold and jewelry. I remembered I froze and I couldn't believe it, I cried for days not knowing why and knowing that he maxed out 12 credit cards under my name and he promised he would pay them back... He was abusive and controlling and my older son seen a lot and because of this he has been seeing a physiatrist for his behaviour and hes a challenge as he does have ADHD&ADD, he been through a lot and he seen what a young boy should never see. So anyways his father convinced me in getting 12 credit cards for different companies such as the brick, staples, Wal-Mart, best buy, future shop, 2 visas, 1 MasterCard, united furniture, sears, Zellers, and Canadian tire... and buying him things, he had me believing lies, over and over..... and when he left I was left with the most dept anyone could go through, but I still kept my head up and tried to pay as many as I could, I was working full-time and it wasn't paying much and thats when I went back to college at vcc to study legal assistant.
Then 2008-2009 I went to VCC and completed legal office assistance and wow I loved it very much, so than I worked for many law firms and I did manage to pay off 3 credit cards off and kept paying minimum to the others so that I kept in good standing with them. But again legal office assistant wasn't paying enough to pay my bills or credit cards or even to live on so I wanted to upgrade in becoming a paralegal and during that time I had been with a guy for 3 years and we had a baby girl together she was born Aug 11, 2008, now this is where my fall down had become.... not knowing my daughter had any medical issues but also I had problems with her father and he become abusive to a point I couldn't go to work for a few days due to his abusive ways, and so I was let go by my job but I found another job as a legal assistance but I could not focus as I was being brother by him and by his mother at work and working in the legal field you need to be 100% focus and I wasn't and I was fired due to the mistakes I had made on letters.
After that I was lost then noticing my daughter did not do the things she was suppose to do at her age scared me so I took her in the doctors and he wanted to do testing on her. Her testing to MIR to blood test was all shown normal but she was not normal. She wasn't at her level of age, they did not know what the problem was so they diagnosed her as "developmental global delay" and because of this it made it hard for me to continue study or to work full-time as she needed me to be with her full-time. I choose to help her and told myself I take a year off and within that year I will put all my focus on her and help her... but nothing it been 3 or 4 years now and she is still mostly the same I mean she can understand FULLY and she can understand music which she loves, but not a single word or not a step by herself. She does have a walker that was funded to us but only one which I need two, and she wears AFO's for her feet and still nothing, she's 5 years old now and she is still struggling. I had her in daycare full time before she turned 5 she was funded to go to daycare by subsidy and a one on one self that was funded by the children development center and she had learned a lot I was very impressed and so happy and then I got the worst new ever. Because she is 5 years old and I am holding her back from kindergarten for one year subsidy will pay full-time but the children development center will not and they could only pay for a little amount which now she goes from mon-thurs for only 4 hours. I was in tears trying to tell them she needs all the hours she can get, but they won't listen to me how important this is for her to grow and to learn, I feel like now she has forgotten most things that she was doing before and now she's not. 4hours for 4 days a week, that's not enough. I just want my daughter to have full time in daycare and i wanted to return to work or go back to school but this makes it more difficult I don't know how much it is but I do have paper stating the cost though i dont understand it if u like me to send it to u please let me let me know. i dont think this is fair I mean yes she is 5 years old but she not really 5 years old, she like a 16 month old little girl. I asked every development center if there was any possible way she can go in full-time, all I got back was nope!
And then both of my sons are diagnosed with ADHD&ADD which they both have to take meds everyday for school. and they are a challenge to me with their behaviours but I love them so much that I will not give up but my boys are extremely hard and my daughter who has a global development delay makes it 10x hard but I am not a person to give up, I know I can do this and help them with everything I have, I will stick by my children and want them to see how much I love them by providing a good future for them... which that means for me is going to school and becoming someone successful. And I do I really do, but its hard when I have no help.
My credit cards that I had when I was with my boys father had used them up he had me believing his lies so I can buy him things I owe almost 20,000 in my credit and its breaking me into pieces when the credit companies are calling me over and over asking for the money and telling me it's going to collections if I don't pay up.. its stressful....So am stuck am REALLY Stuck.... I want to rewind and do things differently in my life, I just want a second chance in life.....I always helped people when I was doing so good and when I need help no one is here for me, I never thought in my whole life I would be asking for help especially through a internet, and knowing it's not for sure, it's makes me feel hopeless. It's hard to keep strong for my children when I have loads of large stones on my back.... its killing me!!
I just want a second chance. I am human and we all make mistakes I made big mistakes in my life but I will never do it twice but to learn from it. And All am asking is a second chance in life to start fresh to actually smile and enjoy play time with my children without worrying about how am I going to pay this or that, I don't want to cry in the washroom or cry at night for many hours.... I want to go back to school at the Vancouver College of Dental Hygiene and be independent again... I am still owing money from my last student loan 12,000 so I don't think they will fund me another loan and now that I have bad credit I believe I will be denied I just need a second chance..... I really want to become a Dental Hygiene and maybe upgrade in cosmetics in the future I wish I had study this in the beginning but it never crossed my mind and this is what I want to stay as my courier I just need that help to lift me up so I can walk on my own.....
And for the months coming up I don't even have my rent I had to pay off some of my credit cards, they were harassing me and I just needed them to stop so I used up my rent money and now am stuck AM REALLY STUCK my rent is $1158 I don't know what to do.
I mean i know you dont know the feelings i have but if u can close ur eyes and just put yourself in my shoes you thought your partner loved you and never thought he would ruined your life and you tired everything you can to do as much as you can as a single mother of 3 disabled children one is more serious than the other 2 and you had people just taking advantage of you and left you with a HUGE dept that is making it hard for you to focus or playing with your kids because of all the calls asking for their money and when you turn to the people who you helped before turn you down the only thing you can hear is nothing but your heart beat and your blood floating throughout your body just sitting in the corner of the bedroom trying to think what to do, ........ like I said everyday is a challenge and honestly I hate waking up it's not something I look forward every day, and when I do wake up I pray the day will be over fast, but it doesn't its always slow and a lot of stress it's too much for me or for any person can go through..... Anyway I don't want to annoy you with anymore of my feelings so I came on here to ask for help for the following:
1) Second chance to clear my dept with all credit cards that I have (I had 12 credit cards and down to 9) I believe am in collections with most now. I just want a second chance it would make me less stress in life as I already have a lot on my plate with my children disabilities and having collectors calling me asking for the money it is hard to breath and by having it all clear no dept it will take a heavy stone off my back and I would be focus again and not be so worried every second.... I know not to trust anyone I learned my lesson I really did. Total is 20,000
2) I need help paying off my student loan so i can retake another one or help pay for both My first loan was for 12,000 and Vancouver College of Dental Hygiene cost is 36,800 and on their website it has what the money is used for I know once I finish and start to work I will be good and support my kids and live good it says once I get a job I will get paid 40 to 50 dollars an hour this is what I need to help my family become a family.
3) in order for me to go back to school i need to pay the other half for my daughter daycare for her to learn to walk and talk and interact with other kids, her daycare is called learning tree in Vancouver area, this has been the best place I ever put my daughter into and I wished I had found this daycare before she just started like 5months ago I believe.... ... please this is so important, she needs people like this in her life but having her there for only 4 hours is not enough for 4days..... chid subsidy pays for her to be there full time but the disability centre cannot pay full time for the one on one stuff as she is over 5 years old, It will help her catch up faster and maybe talk this place is the best place for her. Please this is the most important one. I do have an outline printed by the disability centre I don't understand it but maybe you can and I be happy to send it to you and if you wish to pay for this I believe you can send the Payment directly to them and I can provide the contact information to you. Please my daughter needs to be there full time she's going to kindergarten next year and I really would like it if she could catch up she needs all the help she can get and because of my income they don't give my much help if you know anything that could help my daughter please I ask you to help her she a very happy 5 year old girl very pretty and smart as she understands everything but not able to walk or talk she crawls
4) By paying to the credit card collectors would be a dream come true. I have been even searching on the net and look for work to work at home and they don't have a good paying job to work at home, but I needed to do something so I've been doing online surveys that pay you but it's all waste of time, they pay you 5cents to 3 dollars a survey and usually most of them are 1cent.... like I said I don't give up but this, I had too, it was wasting my time and getting me nowhere, for this month I made almost $3.50. I don't find this useful and it's just not helping me out. I tried applying for secret shoppers but it turned out it was a fraud and I even had posting about needing help on gofundme.com but that was 4 months ago and nothing
i am a hard worker, not lazy, and this makes me so frustrated when I know I am independent but I find it so hard to be independent right now it's hard when everyone is making it impossible for me to continue with my studies and go back to school and become what I want to become. I been through a lot so much hurt, I could write a book about my life and I know it would be the most touching story that anyone has heard and people that already knows me they ask me how do I do it... I ask myself that too, but I am not a person who doesn't give up., I still put a fake smile on, I mean yes I do cry everyday either in the washroom and every night, it's hard to eat or sleep. I dont eat much i cant my stomach is turning in fear every day I just want to be heard and to be given a second chance to make it right It will release a stones off my shoulders. taking care of three most adorable children that need high maintenance care, and having credit cards calling you asking for the money not one but 9 different companies, and I am trying to keep up I want to keep good with them as I do want to buy a townhouse in the future for me and my kids to live, and by making sure I was in good standing I had use up my rent money and now my cell-phone, gas, hydro, cable, bills had been on hold for a 2 or 3 months late. So now it's adding up slowing which I owe a lot, I already got a letter saying they going to cut it off. (Cellphone$900), + (gas $550) + (hydro $441) + (cable $1200) =total $1391
My kids, seen and been through a lot but they are the most important part of my life, they are the reason why I am living today and it's hard not to cry in front of them I try not too but usually its hard and when I do, it makes them sad, I try to put a fake smile but they know they always tell me, "mommy why can't you smile for real" I know they can feel me when I am sad or stressed and it brothers them and it bothers me too, I had my boys telling me "why does their friends parents buy them toys or ps3 or new clothes and you don't buy us nothing", they would say "don't you love us mommy" they tell me so much things about not getting them anything and how they watch others get cool things and they want it too, it breaks my heart because I can't even buy my child one thing for being good and I sometimes hate myself for allowing and trusting people in my life and at the end my kids suffer for it.
I love my children to death, I don't even remember a time where we had a good time out as I have too much on my plate too much. I want them to know they are special and wanted to show them I can smile too, I was wondering if you could provide them with a gift just to show them that people do care and that they are special, to fly down here would be just amazing to give it yourself but even by mail would be such a great gift, you don't have to, I just wanted just one happy moment for my kids just one where they can talk about it and not having to talk about other kids how they are so lucky. And it broke my heart in a million pieces when I heard my boys taking to each other in the bedroom and I was overhearing them and they were talking about what their friend got from their parents and my older son told my younger son that they are not special like their friends and that only special kids get stuff... I don't want to go on about this topic as it hurts me a lot to talk about it, but I just want my kids to feel special every child should feel special in their life and my kids only experience the worst of seeing me being abused by their dad and Step dad and nasty name calling, they heard it all and seen it all and now that's over but it gave us the worst day to day living as they put me in dept and its eating me and my kids alive. ..
so much bad memorizes and people that knows me would tell me if that happen to them they would of killed themselves and they say how strong I am, and how I never give up on my kids. My kids are my power to keep breathing every day.... I just wanted them to feel special just for a day and to feel like they are somebody and have a least one good memory from their childhood....
I want to pursued my goal and going back to school, stress free, you're the only one who can make this happen, all I want is a second chance just a second chance in life to start fresh with my children.
I just want a second chance, just to bring me up again, so I can walk on my own and focus reaching my goal, just me and my children. I am too scared to be in a relationship, and I don't want to, I want to focus on my children future and that's it...
I don't usually ask for money, but as of right now ANYTHING would help. And there's a saying about if you help others it will come back to you when you are in need. And so I tell myself this everyday as I did help many people before when they are in need but none of them helped me now when I need help, but it can still come back to me..... Right?
If you need any proof of documents to anything I said above please send me an email and I can either send you back through email or Skype with you so you can see my children too. . I note everything I said up above is all true nothing was over exaggeration nor made up.
Every day is a challenge for me with my kids and it makes it hard for me to help with school work both of my boys need help in reading, math, and english and i wish i can put them into tutoring but it's expensive as am having financial problems. it would mean the world to them if someone could help us this one time.
Thank you for your time in reading my story of my life.
Please let me know either way if you will help me or not so that I know and start thinking of something else. You are my last hope!!!
Please forgive me if I missed spelled a word or if I missed a word in a sentence or if the sentence doesn't make sense, It's very hard to concentrate normally when your over stressed.... so please forgive me.
If you needed proof any or all documents just let me know and i will send it to you.