The Fight For Brooklynn & Sidney

First, I'd like to say how much thought this has taken me in making the decision to make a gofundme.com. Normally, I would never dream of asking for any kind of help. But for the sake of my little girls, I feel I must set my pride to the side and kindly ask for help.

As many of you know, I have been in a custody battle with my abusive ex and his family over my daughters, Brooklynn & Sidney, for the past year now.  As of right now, he is only permitted supervised visitation every other weekend due to a failed hair drug test. The girls are to be under the supervision of his mother at his parent's residence & he is not allowed to take the girls anywhere alone. There will be another court date in April to review the current situation to see if there is any further changes needed to be made. But you see, the drug problem is not the only thing I am concerned with. 

Let's take it back to before the very first court date with the girls biological father. The relationship we shared up until then was extremely toxic. Including violence, mental, & physical abuse. He showed extreme signs of sociopathy & I had feared my for my life many times due to the multiple death threats. This lasted 4 years until I finally had a change occur in me that allowed me to release myself and the girls from that situation. Of course it was not easy to fully remove myself from the vicious cycle. Even though he had taken away my transportation & threatened me which led me to filing a restraining order, I ended up still keeping contact with him. In the weeks leading up to that first court date, I was put under the influence that he was making steps to become a better person & father & he convinced me to drop the restraining order. Looking back now, I had a huge lack of judgement in character. But being the empathetic & forgiving person I am, instead of going for full custody like I had originally planned, I so blindly agreed to unsupervised visitation as long as he passes random drug testing. We maintained contact a little while after & he seemed to be getting better but I was still very cautious of him. Once he figured out that I was not going to give into him, his behavior became erratic & violent once again. He showed extensive signs of sociopathic behavior & I began to fear for my life again. I ended up filing for another restraining order when he threatened to kill myself & family & take the girls if I didn't come back. I asked for temporary full custody in the restraining order but the judge only granted the order for me. When the court date came, he boldy approached me in the parking lot(knowing he's not supposed to) & proceeded to talk as if he was a possessed demon, talking ungodly things, calling our little girls by horrible names & claiming he never loved them. I remember being in such shock that anybody would say something so horribe about their own children. I immediatly told his mother about the awful things he said & begged her to get him help. Of course she didn't want to believe me. That was her son & she was going to believe him.

My heart had never hurt so much for my children. I remember thinking to myself How could I let this happen? How could I have allowed myself to be so blinded by selfishness at the time that I actually allowed this person control over my children. After everything he has done in the past, before all the court dates...I should have known better. My precious innocent angels don't deserve to be around this type of behavior. They are worth more than this & they deserve to be loved by someone who cares to do & be the absolute best they can be for them. It was in that moment of rage & sadness that I truly became a fighter. I will tell you now I have been relentless ever since & I will continue to do whatever it takes until they will forever be safe in Mommy's arms.

There has been many other things happen since then.  Including more arrests adding to the thirty-four times he's been arrested in the last 4 years. He has got to the point where he has even harrassed, committed property damage, & made death threats towards my Fiance. 

As you can see, I have so many reasons for my worries. Over time I have realized that he no longer shows any interest in the girls whatsoever nor does he try to do better for himself.  Over thirty-four arrests in four years, ranging from domestic abuse, to felony drug charges, & DUI's. I'm convinced he only comes to court because his mother is the only one who even wants anything to do with them. I have literally begged  his own mother to please see it from my side & realize that he is not good for these little girls. She refuses time after time. 

There have been a few court dates where I have walked in thinking we would be walking out with full custody. I have quickly realized that the justice system doesn't always work the way we want it to & sometimes it seems like nothing helps despite what evidence you present. There's no sicker feeling in the world than knowing you have to send your children off somewhere where you know you will be unable to protect them. But I absolutely refuse to give up hope. I will never stop fighting.

This past year has been incredibly draining. Emotionally & financially. It has also been one of the happiest years of my life at the same time because in the midst of all the chaos, I ended up getting engaged to the man of my dreams, Bryan, who has been such a blessing to me & these girls. He has truly been my shoulder to lean on as well as my own mother.

My mother has been incredibly helpful with all of the lawyer expenses this past year and has made tremendous sacrifices for the sake of my daughters. Including taking a second PRN job along with maxing out the use of her personal credit cards. I could never thank her enough. I knew it took alot out of her to be able to admit to me that she was no longer financially able to help any longer when we recently recieved a surprise lawyer bill that is due before our next court date in April. Between lawyer fees, wedding planning, personal bills and receiving lots of help from our parents already. This left the financial responsibility in my own hands.

I am a full time student at NSUS & constantly struggle to make my school/life balance with recieving only $182 every two weeks in child support paid by his father.  Conversely, the girls father lives in his own trailer for free & refuses to get a job. 

So this is where i must humbly ask the public for help in this matter. Not just for my personal wants or needs, but to ensure the safety and proper raising of my two beautiful children. All of the money raised will go towards lawyer fees & court costs. All is greatly appreciated, and every penny counts! Please help fight for my girls, whether it be $5 or simply sharing this to spread the word, you are helping to make a difference in my sweet girls lives!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. God bless!