Please don't forget to share Mickie's pages, we're only halfway there for raising funds for her seizure response dog!! www.facebook.com/mickie1inamillion
It's been one of the worst weeks in awhile, not so much for Mickie, but for myself as well. I don't think she's had any seizures since the bad ones last Friday night, but it's been so hectic, sadly I really didn't get a chance to notice. The great thing is that when I started her back on the Zonegran, she's had no side effects like she had back in May, so we're going to keep her on it and hopefully that will help with the seizures!!
Meanwhile, Matt had taken my car up to his dad's house in Knoxville last weekend to get brakes fixed. We can't afford to have the car fixed at an actual repair shop, so Matt bought the brakes and his dad helped put them on....a real money saver there! Anyways, Mickie and I were stuck at home, because I can't drive Matt's car (stick shift), but we made the best of it. I'd been having chest pains on and off all week, along with a little trouble catching my breath. Normally I'm all over the place, bouncing around at work, taking the stairs (12 flights) in the evenings, and playing tennis with Mickie By the time Matt got home on Sunday evening, I didn't say anything to him, but I stayed in the recliner so I could sleep sitting up. Monday morning, around 2am (Labor Day), I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed that my feet were extremely swollen. I've never had that happen before, not even during pregnancy, so I figured I just needed to elevate them. No redness, no heat, just swollen, so I was pretty sure it wasn't a blood clot. Sat back down, propped feet up and tried to go back to sleep. Didn't work.
At 6am, Mickie had been awake with me for awhile and she kept watching me because I just couldn't get that breath I wanted. Finally I told her to take her morning meds and go back to sleep, I had to go to the doctor. I went in, woke Matt up and told him I needed to go to the hospital now. He knows that if I go to the hospital, something is really wrong. Sure enough, by the time I got there, my chest was killing me, I was struggling to breathe, and I was so dizzy I thought I was going to pass out. They took me back immediately, the doctor came in, drew labs, listened to my symptoms and sent me for a CAT scan of my chest. Sure enough, he comes back and said my cardiac enzymes were very high and my CT showed numerous blood clots on my lungs (pulmonary embolism). They started me on Heparin IV immediately and admitted me, and said if I'd waited much longer, I wouldn't be around (that kinda scared me). So I cried, because I would be missing work, I didn't want to be away from my family, and I hated hospitals.
Before they took me up to my room, I had to go to the bathroom. I'd been sitting in the bed at the ER for about 3 hours now, and the bathroom was right outside my room. As soon as I hit the hallway, the pain intensified considerably. I broke out in a huge sweat, the nausea came from the pain and I couldn't even stand up straight. Of course it freaked the nurse out, and she tried to get me to go back to my room, but my stubborn ass was NOT using a bedpan. I begged her to let me go to the bathroom and she gave in lol. Right after that, I ended up on morphine every 4 hours, which definitely helped with the pain.
Enters the cardiologist--once I got set up in my room, she comes in and says they're going to do an echo and an ultrasound of my legs to find out if there's any clots in my legs. She said I need to keep the oxygen on in my room and be cautious when I stood up. yeah, okay.....Matt and Mickie came back to visit me a little later on, but Mickie sounded like crap, and you could tell she didn't feel well. She was really stuffed up and congested, so I didn't make them stay long. On Tuesday, Mickie had gotten worse, but tried to make it to school....only made it about 2.5 hours, then Matt had to go pick her up. It's so hard to deal with her over the phone, but we managed, and luckily we keep antibiotics on hand for this sort of thing, so we started her on a z-pak and sent her to bed. She ended up missing Wednesday at school too, but she knew that if she was sick, she couldn't come to the hospital....she'd either get sicker, or she'd make patients sick. I know she was stressed out because I was in the hospital and she couldn't see me, which made it worse for her too. And Matt was so tired, because he had to work, doesn't get home until 2am, back up again at 7am to take her to school, pick her back up at 3:15, then back to work at 4:30, repeating the process.
I had my tests done, and the cardiologist comes in my room on Wednesday and said that she's not sure how long the clots have been there, but I let it go so long that it actually caused damage to the right side of my heart. It may take months for the damage to be repaired, but it is possible without overdoing it. I will have to be on blood thinners for the rest of my life. Had I waited much longer to come in, I wouldn't have been around. It was kind of a reality check to hear that, because I'm so used to putting myself on the back burner and getting everyone else's problems solved first. Either way, I got to go home that afternoon, but I was placed on strict bedrest for the next five days to give myself time to heal. I'm allowed to go back to work on Monday, but I'm soooo exhausted and have no energy, I know it's going to be a draining day. I still have chest pains, I still struggle to get that breath in, and it's going to take a LONG TIME to get back to normal. The clots won't go away, and it won't prevent them from coming back. I just need to work on it.
Mickie and Matt have both been my rock this week. Yes, I can't stand people who continue telling me to relax and it's my fault it got so bad because I didn't take it easy. People have not walked in my shoes.....it got so bad because no one even knew I had clots in there. I had just been to the doc a month ago with the same symptoms and when the EKG showed no blockages, we both assumed it was just stress. I will ALWAYS put my child first, and to hear people say "it won't do Mickie any good if you're not there for her". I'm trying! Unless people want to pay my co-pays for the doctors and pay my bills that I'm now behind on since I missed a whole week of work, I really don't need the criticism. I just need some support. I've already faced reality. Yes, it's basically a miracle that I made it this long with a highly dangerous clot, and I'll have damage for months until it hopefully fixes itself, but I'm one person who has a lot on her plate.
As for Mickie--she's feeling better, only has one day left on her antibiotic, but she's pretty tired in the evenings. I was supposed to take her to Vanderbilt next Thursday to the ENT to discuss nasal surgery, but there's no way I can sit in a car that long at this time, so I pushed it back till next month.
I think that's it for now, thank you to everyone who texted, called, messaged, etc to check up on me, I sincerely appreciate it!! Now I just need a fairy godmother to help me catch up on my bills before I really have a coronary!! lol Have a wonderful weekend! At least have some fun for me since I'm still stuck in bed!!! -_-