Updated posted by Trish Young 3 months ago
i need some advice on antibiotics...my dr tried a bunch of over the last couple months to try and rid this crap from my body (this was before the CT scan and X-Rays) and of course none of them worked..so, to make a long story short, i've dropped ten pounds since last week. my lymph nodes are now swollen from my jaw down thru my armpit and across my chest. and my spleen is swollen as well. this isn't good. the migraine only "let's up" but doesn't stop. the pain in my teeth/jaw has gotten almost intolerable. my throat feels raw and it hurts to swallow. i'm constantly nauseous and if i do finally "get an appetite" and eat? it comes right back out one way or another. my feet and legs will out of nowhere and very quickly, swell and get very sore... my dr was a little more than worried so to speak and i burst out in to tears...by the way, the mood swings are pretty much out of control...i cry over nothing and it seems that everything is deep and emotional. i get irritated over nothing but at least i've been able for the most part to curb the anger and since we've figure out what the problem was, i've noticed that i let go of things more and i don't STAY angry and i apologize VERY quickly if i do get too irritated...but it all is still a little overwhelming...my equilibrium is hard core off kilter...one moment i'm fine? the next i'm doing some crazy combination of tai-chi/yoga/jujitsu and stumbling around like a drunk baboon...words no longer make any sense...i'm having a conversation and then all of it just floats away, like a balloon abandoned by small child...and that makes me angry because i like words...it's frustrating for me to forget the simplest of words and/or their meanings...that along with the double vision/dizziness and light sensitivity? my head literally is on a rampage...the constant yo-yo effect my body is doing is just literally insanity and the emotions that come with the mental/physical chaos is just about too much for me...it does make the last few years make sense tho...i mean, this has been going on a long time.(my immune system has been able to fight it off thus far but like the DR said, eventually the it just can't handle it and starts slowing down, i guess it's been doing that for the last year now) and besides the insistent, emotional, mental and physical exhaustion? i really have a very positive over all state of being...like i know that so much of this will go away just as soon as they pull those teeth...and it's that knowing FINALLY, of what the problem is, that has given me some peace. some HOPE...now it's just waiting for it to get done...my dr said he was gonna call AND fax them and light a fire to get me in quicker...so, as i said, long story short, he wants to put me BACK on amoxicillin...500mg THREE times a day UNTIL they do the surgery...and i'm just not too sure that's a good idea...it made me SO MUCH SICKER when i was taking them last time...and it's already to the point where my DR wants me to be doing nothing but resting...so how the fuck am i supposed to be on bed rest with three kids? and if i take them? it's just gonna get worse. so. but i wanna know, from you that know...since he just recently had me on them and on so many...is it even worth it? will it even help? will it hurt me? is it a good idea? i trust this DR more than any other i've trusted...but antibiotics make me SO nervous!...so...any advice/thoughts/information would help dearly...
Updated posted by Trish Young 3 months ago
so, tonight i randomly ran on to a woman who had seen this page..she had tried to find my facebook but couldn't...and that makes me wonder how many others did the same thing? people can't message me thru here? ok, here's my facebook so you can see my family!!!
when she ran in to me, i was a mess..my son experienced his first heart break today because he likes a girl his friend likes and i talked him thru it..told him yes, this too shall pass, but that isn't all they need to hear...because that isn't what they feel...that feeling is so deep and painful..it feels like it will shadow you FOREVER!! we talked about the ramification of him losing his friend..would it be worth it? i cried SO HARD and SO MUCH because it hit me for the first time that i can no longer just kiss his "boo boo" and make it all better..i can't just hug him and hold him and make him smile..he is GROWING UP! and he is facing reality..and i can talk till i'm blue in the face, but the reality is, he can't learn from my mistakes...he has to learn for himself..and it's going to be hard..my son Saul is the one who rarely complains...he is tough..and when i see that look on his face? that look where he is broken...hurting...ohhhh it just kills me...sometimes i panic..because i KNOW that when he shows it? it's deep...and as he is now a teenager, it's getting harder for him to express himself..but we are working really hard together to make it work...and to keep talking...i don't want my baby to face heartbreak...ohhhh what a heavy load...and that is why i never wanted children...why dump another soul in to this painful chaos? but then i remember the light...and i just pray he finds his way to it...that's always something i've left up to him to choose...i've never railroaded my kids in to believing ANYTHING! so anyway...i think he is gonna be ok..i think he sees his best friend is more important..i sat them both down and i said hey, maybe you all three should just be best friends..i think you two should just both let go of this one...be friends..enjoy the teenage years...it's all good...how can you love and learn about someone else when you don't even know you? slo wwwww down! hahaha so, we cried together for a long time..we held each other...we listened to each other...man...seeing my baby grow up is just not what i want! haha but at the same time..i'm so glad i have such a caring wonderful, beautiful, smart, wordly, open child..i am blessed three time over...please help me get these teeth out..tonight it hurts so bad...it's all the way up my nose...all the way across my top teeth...i want to take a hammer to it...i think it's getting worse...i really am terrified...and yet i just KNOW the universe will pull thru somehow...right?
Created by Trish Young on December 31, 2013
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