i need some advice on antibiotics...my dr tried a bunch of over the last couple months to try and rid this crap from my body (this was before the CT scan and X-Rays) and of course none of them worked..so, to make a long story short, i've dropped ten pounds since last week. my lymph nodes are now swollen from my jaw down thru my armpit and across my chest. and my spleen is swollen as well. this isn't good. the migraine only "let's up" but doesn't stop. the pain in my teeth/jaw has gotten almost intolerable. my throat feels raw and it hurts to swallow. i'm constantly nauseous and if i do finally "get an appetite" and eat? it comes right back out one way or another. my feet and legs will out of nowhere and very quickly, swell and get very sore... my dr was a little more than worried so to speak and i burst out in to tears...by the way, the mood swings are pretty much out of control...i cry over nothing and it seems that everything is deep and emotional. i get irritated over nothing but at least i've been able for the most part to curb the anger and since we've figure out what the problem was, i've noticed that i let go of things more and i don't STAY angry and i apologize VERY quickly if i do get too irritated...but it all is still a little overwhelming...my equilibrium is hard core off kilter...one moment i'm fine? the next i'm doing some crazy combination of tai-chi/yoga/jujitsu and stumbling around like a drunk baboon...words no longer make any sense...i'm having a conversation and then all of it just floats away, like a balloon abandoned by small child...and that makes me angry because i like words...it's frustrating for me to forget the simplest of words and/or their meanings...that along with the double vision/dizziness and light sensitivity? my head literally is on a rampage...the constant yo-yo effect my body is doing is just literally insanity and the emotions that come with the mental/physical chaos is just about too much for me...it does make the last few years make sense tho...i mean, this has been going on a long time.(my immune system has been able to fight it off thus far but like the DR said, eventually the it just can't handle it and starts slowing down, i guess it's been doing that for the last year now) and besides the insistent, emotional, mental and physical exhaustion? i really have a very positive over all state of being...like i know that so much of this will go away just as soon as they pull those teeth...and it's that knowing FINALLY, of what the problem is, that has given me some peace. some HOPE...now it's just waiting for it to get done...my dr said he was gonna call AND fax them and light a fire to get me in quicker...so, as i said, long story short, he wants to put me BACK on amoxicillin...500mg THREE times a day UNTIL they do the surgery...and i'm just not too sure that's a good idea...it made me SO MUCH SICKER when i was taking them last time...and it's already to the point where my DR wants me to be doing nothing but resting...so how the fuck am i supposed to be on bed rest with three kids? and if i take them? it's just gonna get worse. so. but i wanna know, from you that know...since he just recently had me on them and on so many...is it even worth it? will it even help? will it hurt me? is it a good idea? i trust this DR more than any other i've trusted...but antibiotics make me SO nervous!...so...any advice/thoughts/information would help dearly...
so, tonight i randomly ran on to a woman who had seen this page..she had tried to find my facebook but couldn't...and that makes me wonder how many others did the same thing? people can't message me thru here? ok, here's my facebook so you can see my family!!!
when she ran in to me, i was a mess..my son experienced his first heart break today because he likes a girl his friend likes and i talked him thru it..told him yes, this too shall pass, but that isn't all they need to hear...because that isn't what they feel...that feeling is so deep and painful..it feels like it will shadow you FOREVER!! we talked about the ramification of him losing his friend..would it be worth it? i cried SO HARD and SO MUCH because it hit me for the first time that i can no longer just kiss his "boo boo" and make it all better..i can't just hug him and hold him and make him smile..he is GROWING UP! and he is facing reality..and i can talk till i'm blue in the face, but the reality is, he can't learn from my mistakes...he has to learn for himself..and it's going to be hard..my son Saul is the one who rarely complains...he is tough..and when i see that look on his face? that look where he is broken...hurting...ohhhh it just kills me...sometimes i panic..because i KNOW that when he shows it? it's deep...and as he is now a teenager, it's getting harder for him to express himself..but we are working really hard together to make it work...and to keep talking...i don't want my baby to face heartbreak...ohhhh what a heavy load...and that is why i never wanted children...why dump another soul in to this painful chaos? but then i remember the light...and i just pray he finds his way to it...that's always something i've left up to him to choose...i've never railroaded my kids in to believing ANYTHING! so anyway...i think he is gonna be ok..i think he sees his best friend is more important..i sat them both down and i said hey, maybe you all three should just be best friends..i think you two should just both let go of this one...be friends..enjoy the teenage years...it's all good...how can you love and learn about someone else when you don't even know you? slo wwwww
down! hahaha so, we cried together for a long time..we held each other...we listened to each other...man...seeing my baby grow up is just not what i want! haha but at the same time..i'm so glad i have such a caring wonderful, beautiful, smart, wordly, open child..i am blessed three time over...please help me get these teeth out..tonight it hurts so bad...it's all the way up my nose...all the way across my top teeth...i want to take a hammer to it...i think it's getting worse...i really am terrified...and yet i just KNOW the universe will pull thru somehow...right?
you can see the cyst to the right of my teeth. it looks like a bubble. it goes down the tooth shaft.
you can see the cyst on the four front teeth. it follows down the shaft. they need to be removed NOW. i am so sick. i'm trying to sell anything i own. i just want to get this done and get some dentures. i don't care if my face caves in and i age 2o years immediately. i would rather be healthy than look pretty or young. i just don't care anymore. i am so tired of being so sick
the cyst is on the 4front teeth.
message from amanda beckwith, the first person to donate and a very good long time friend...SO SWEET!!! ~Amanda~"You're welcome! I don't know what it's like to have to do the parent thing on my own, much less on my own and in the pain you're in. I am thankful that I have my husband to help me but I fully admire all the single moms out there. You've always put your kids first for as long as I've known you as a mother. I know it wasn't much but I thought it would at least help jump start it. Love you!"~end quote~...I met Amanda about 20 years ago when we lived in Guam. I love and miss that island and it's people so much. What a beautiful culture. So much love! Thank you Amanda!!! I love YOU so much!
today, after my dentist appt, i picked up an old man who was walking on the side of the road, he was going ten miles in the opposite direction...i also stopped at the gas station and bought him a hot coffee and because he was shaking from the cold so bad and it scared me...i didn't ask, because that would have been rude, but i guessed he was AT LEAST 80 years old.. He said his son was supposed to wait for and take him home after his appt, but his son had left saying "he had other stuff to do" and "good luck finding a ride home." Then he wouldn't answer his phone. I had to hold in my tears until he got out of the car. I was so angry. What a horrible person. It was freezing out there this morning! I did what I could for a man who had nothing. He didn't even have money for coffee, OR A CELL PHONE TO CALL ANYONE! my favorite saying in the whole wild world is, "give all you can, take only what you need." It's a good creed to live by.
went to the dentist today...he said yes, i have to have all 8 teeth pulled and he can't do it. if i want to just have them cleaned out and the veneers replaced, yes, i have to pay for them myself. but then i'd have to do the titanium rod veneers for 4 teeth and that would be VERY EXPENSIVE! but i would have a pretty smile and it wouldn't be dentures! my insurance only pays for one set of dentures/plates every 8 years so they won't do it for me for 5 more years. so, My only other choice is to pay out of pocket. I can't do it. I don't have the money. And he referred me to a surgeon in SPARTENBURG SC. well, i can't drive down there. so that isn't happening. the only other surgeon i can go to is here in asheville but he doesn't accept my insurance. so if i don't want to go to spartenburg (which i just can't, i don't have the means monetarily or baby sitter wise, plus the first appt is just a consultation, i'd have to drive back another day for the surgery AND i'd have to have someone to drive me back...the surgeon in morganton is the one that did my surgery back in 2008 so i'm not going back to them. they were horrible. cruel. So. I don't know what else to do. I really don't....i'm just hoping my page will get spread around enough that strangers see it and maybe it just hits the right crowd and i get the money i need to get it done. thank you to all of you have helped me try by sharing that page. i love you SO MUCH!!!
i got my first personal message!! here it is....the subject was: "FREE RIDE" the message: "Fuck you. I hope that you and those bastards die"....short and sweet and to the point...hey man, i've been there for sure...i don't like it there much...on the bright side, i can't really be mad about it, well, i'm mad he called my children bastards...judging children? scum. maybe he is immortal. or thinks he is, that is all i can gather from that because hey, guess what? we are all gonna die genius! seriously...every single living thing on this planet..such is life...anyways, i'm not looking for a free ride...i'm looking for a "hand up" and i'm not asking anyone to pay my bills or buy me anything...i need teeth...that is certainly not the definition of free ride...oh and no thanks, i wouldn't fuck you if it was a life or death choice...you can take your free ride and shove it where the sun don't shine...and such is my life..i ask the universe to help me get healthy, get new teeth and my first response is by a bigot..but not even a bigot is going to get me down...this isn't just something i WANT...this is something that I HAVE to have done, or it will kill me. it's all gonna be alright.
when i first got these veneers, the dentist told me that i needed to change them out every 5-10 years...i was 12..i'm now 34 and they have never been changed,,20 years i've had the same veneers...oh god...i really want a nice set of teeth...i've never had a nice smile...scratch that, my smile is AWESOME!! i'm beautiful..i know this...i love my smile...i'm fine with my teeth...except they are trying to KILL me..i'd rather go with no teeth..see, the reason they don't want to give me dentures is because i'm so young and that will cause my face to sink in some and i will age faster...i've already got almost a whole head of grey hair...if i have to get plain old dentures, man...i'll be 80 by next year...i'd love more than anything to get the teeth with the rods in them..those act as real teeth...and i wouldn't age....my face wouldn't sink in...i'd stay beautiful even with my grey hair...i love my grey hair...oh god...i'm humbly begging...someone help me...i haven't raised any money....anyone?
i'm trying to get the pictures of my CT scan up so you can see the cyst, but most people can't see anything on them..i'm going to put one up of the metal in my back from the spinal fusion. i'm feeling a little down today, the baby has been sick for a few days and this "croupie" cough she has is just horrible..i've had to hold her upright at night so she didn't cough as much..i'm glad her and i are the only ones that got that part of the sickness, it's probably because i got it first and she sleeps with me...the boys just got the vomit/poopy part..i had that too but i got it two days in a row! i still can't eat or drink anything, it all comes right back out..and grey won't eat anything..she is drinking lots and lots of water tho so i'm not worried..she is drinking juice and milk too...i'm also getting down about this...it just doesn't seem like anything is going to happen..i wonder if it's because people are afraid to donate money thru this?? it's super secure, i checked it out...you can too by looking up at the top...like i said tho, i'd also call my dentist and i can bet that he would accept payments until he got it all and then we could do the surgery and get me some new teeth...i think i have to go thru affordable dentures for that..anyways....there have been so many visiters to this page..not one donation..not one message...nothing...is this going to work? i've had high hopes since i started it...but today i'm sad...i'm sick...i want these teeth out...i have to have them out...they are killing me...someone..anyone...please. please??
seriously. someone out there wants to adopt me. i just know it. you have a little extra money and you feel like doing something kind for someone that deserves it and you are looking at me and wondering if i am for real....i don't even care if i get the money, i need the money to GO TO THE DENTIST!!! so, i'm sure he would accept partial payments from people for me and then as soon as i get it all, he can do my teeth!! right? that sounds good! you can trust the dentist!! please. i just want to be able and wake up early and be with my kids,, cook them breakfast..take my daughter to the park...i'm just exhausted ALL of the time...i ALWAYS feel sick...i've lost almost 20 pounds total in the last two months...i can't eat..and when i force myself too, fighting the nausea, it all just comes right back out one way or another...please, angel with money, please look at the pictures of my kids, message me, call me, call the dentist, WE CAN MEET!!! you can see me, talk to me, talk to my kids! then you can just give the money straight to the dentist...and i'll be forever grateful because i am two semesters away from having my assoicates in Human Services with a concentration in Substance Abuse Counseling !!! If i can get these teeth pulled, i can finish my degree and i can get to work helping people! because that is what i am in this life, a 'Helper'...and you are one too, i know this...so we are kin...you can feel it...you know i am good. and i know you are very close to saving my life and keeping me alive for my babies...i know this...i can feel you!
fairy god mother? sugar daddy?? sugar mama?!?! I bet people don't really ever give money to people thru this..i don't know if i would..it kinda looks shady...what do i have to do so that people see me and know i'm real and honest and not a con artist? i don't have much family(an older brother i just met, a younger brother who is in prison for a long time, a sister in law and her children who are way over in Guam...THAT IS IT!!) and i don't have any rich friends...and i don't know how to share this to get it out there to the right people who are going to look at it and go, oh, wow, we want to make this woman healthy. not just because she has struggled and suffered her whole life and still has hope for the future, but for those beautiful, well adjusted, loving children who really need her around to take care of them (because you are going to see this and KNOW that i am of a rare breed of moms who puts her children first always, i don't go out to bars, i don't "go out" at all..the only socializing i do is with other kids, for my kids.) i rarely rarely drink, i don't do drugs, i don't even smoke pot!! I don't even take pain pills, look at me, i've got metal in back and i'm in constant chronic pain, but i do not take pain medications. i've never had a break like this. my life has been hard. i deserve this. maybe after this i can go back to school! work with autistic children!! i can dream anyways..it's a new year...IT'S MAGICAL, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! i'm not sure i've ever wanted (needed) something so much in my whole life!
i put up some links, one is to the dentist i want to go to who will take out all the infected teeth and give me new ones...the other two links are more information on why this is so serious...i'm more than willing to let anyone see the reports from my dr, my CT scans, anything so you know i'm telling the truth!
i have the most beautiful children
Did I mention there is a cyst in the root canal of my front teeth that is now infected with bacteria and spreading it throughout my body?? I really need a miracle right now. I NEED them to go in, yank all those teeth, clean the root socket...and if I can actually achieve my goal? I will get pretty teeth, I'll get a pretty smile that I've never had and always wanted, I WILL GET HEALTHY TEETH THAT WON'T TRY TO KILL ME!! Oh universe...I'm so tired of being sick all the time and I'm so scared because now it's affecting my heart and brain...This is no way to live..It's like always having the flu..I've lost so much weight in the last month..I'm down to a size 6-8...I can't eat anything...i'm constantly nauseous..If I am able to get past the nausea, my hernia chokes me up and I end up throwing up...usually the hernia doesn't bother me...I know there is a miracle out there just waiting to give this gift to my children!...I JUST BELIEVE IT!!!!
the awesome metal in back and a picture of the tat the surgeon had to cut thru and use super glue instead of stitches because he actually cared enough to not mess it up!!
this is the cool metal in back!
he used super glue instead of stitches!
Thru facebook I just met my brother Chris for the first time. My father married his mother when they were young and then my father married my mother and Chris never knew any of us existed! I found him after searching on and off for 20 years! We just met back in October...I want to watch him grow old so I can laugh at him...We have a lot of time to make up for...I really want to get to know my brother bear better...
HI! My name is Trish Young and I am 34 years old, I have three amazing, beautiful, healthy, happy, intelligent, fun children whom I live for. After thirteen years of dedicated parenting, my body has finally revolted and demands that I start to take care of myself.
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I had surgery, a spinal fusion surgery, on my lower back in may 2013. This allowed me to get off pain medications and start to learn to be healthy. No doctor has ever been able to figure out "WHY" my body is destroying itself, until now.
I've always had small issues, nothing big, latex allergies, lactose, then soy and now gluten..For the most part I've always been healthy but when I was young (at 8 I was hit by a car on my bike and had to have a root canal done on 2 teeth) I started having widespread pain throughout my body and the doctors told my parents it was rheumatoid arthritis, tho in the end it turns out it wasn't.
I was excused from gym class or any other physical activities from 9 on. We moved to Guam shortly thereafter and at 12 I was given the gift of a new smile. The dentists fixed my broken and rotting front teeth and gave me shiny white veneers! OH I WAS SO HAPPY TO SMILE!!
I lived my teenage years suffering from what the doctors said at the time was "a lactose intolerance". I would get violently ill often when I ate. I learned to avoid dairy and yet I still had this problem. I left Guam at 18 and married my husband shortly thereafter. Even tho we were both told we would not have children, six months after we were married, I found out i was indeed going to be a mother! I had never been happier in my entire life.
We named him SAUL which is Hebrew and means "asked for from God", because he was...We didn't worry about protection because Saul was a "miracle child" and the "odds of us having another were astronomical"...When Saul was four months old I found out that we were again being blessed with another miracle! We named him LEVI which is Hebrew and means "joined to in harmony".
My husband and I struggled financially and by the time Levi was born I was in constant pain. I refused pain medications, even at their birth because I was terrified of them and had never used them. But, life was getting harder, our marriage was strained and I was fighting to live a normal life. I was happy being a stay at home mother. They were my reason to get out of bed and make them breakfast every morning. My every moment was spent revolved around them.
When our marriage was finally to the point that we were intolerable to each other, I had to get a job and put them in day care. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I cried every time I dropped them off and ran home to sleep just enough to get them and play and cook or whatever before I had to work third shift. Finally when the boys were 3 & 4 my husband and I split.
By the end it was a very physical relationship and we were toxic to each other. For a long time, we could barely speak to each other, but the boys were the focus for each of us and so we learned to speak about and for them, to each other, so they had the best chance of life they could.
Our focus and dedication paid off, the boys have been loved infinitely by both of us and after awhile we actually become friends again. Putting our children first and not abusing or neglecting them with our own personal feelings of the other parent gave our children strength and stability. They knew that even tho we were split, they would be loved unconditionally by both parents at all times.
I decided to go to college when i was 23 and pursue my passion of Human Service. At first I was just going for a general Associates in Arts degree and was 2 classes from finishing when I decided to switch to a concentration in Substance Abuse Counseling. I had full custody of my boys while I worked and attended school. At around 24-25 I could no longer take all the pain. I was exhausted and starting to get sick.
I finally got so sick that I went to the hospital and was admitted with severe dehydration. My vitamin D level was at an 8 when it was supposed to be around a 32. I was very ill all the time at this point and all the doctors would do was give me pain medicine and "trigger point injections" which were filled with a steroid. This made me very very ill. They never helped in any way shape or form.
For the next 6 years I would struggle daily with this constant pain, growing and constant illness of some sort or another and I was living in a fog because of the medicine and I always just felt so 'stuck'. My white blood cell count would always come back too high, my vitamin levels were always too low, my immune system was always shot and not one doctor could ever give me any clue as to what or why my body was deteriorating.
On top of the physical pain I had growing depression and what the therapist said was "bi polar" I tried to convince them that it was only because of all the pain which had no known origin, but they insisted I was bipoler and adhd with acute anxiety disorder/ptsd. (there are a lot of deep, heavy and dark traumas in my life that I am intentionally leaving out of public view). But, how does a single mother of 2 that works and goes to school, find any time to focus on herself?
The 'degenerative disc disease', 'fibromyalgia', 'interstitial cystitis', 'migraines', 'chronic sinusitis along with frequent and debilitating sinus infections that would cause my face to swell so bad I could hardly speak (and for which, every time, they would give me some antibiotics and steroids and send me home, never ever trying to figure out WHY my teeth always hurt or WHY my face was swelling and painful etc etc) I finally forced my dentist to take a closer look at my sinus cavities/teeth etc, to see WTF was going on. They found the root of one of my teeth was piercing in to my sinus cavity!! So, they did surgery to correct it and I went on my way. This was in 2008.
It hurt worse after that. The infections came more frequently and the rest of my teeth started to die off, eventually having to be pulled because I was just tired of dealing with them.
so I eventually was unable to maintain work, my grades started to slip and as the pain became intolerable, I was forced to quit school. I made a horrible decision and it led me to lose my housing, most of my belongings and eventually I had to ask the boys father to take them for the summer so I could "get my head together".
My grandmother died shortly thereafter leaving a lot of money. I knew I was in no way shape or form in a good head space to do any good with that much money so I split it in to two sealed accts for the boys to be opened when they are 18. I took about 5 grand and planned to find a place to live, but I was somehow pulled to the road with a yearning for travel. And travel I did. I met a lot of neat people, I saw some amazingly beautiful places and I had myself a soul satisfying time.
Then, in 2010, I was traveling with a few people when one night we decided to drink and my daughter chose to be conceived. I knew her father would not be a part of her life as he was not an easy man to be around. He has not seen her physically since her first birthday. I'm fine with this, the boys are fine with this and she even has our last name.
Her name was chosen by the three of us on the way to the hospital. That night we had sat around watching music videos trying to find "the perfect name". I loved the idea of "grace" because in my heart, she was my saving grace. Also, when I was born, my parents wanted to name me grace after "grace slick", but I was born dead following and emergency c-section and they immediately named me after my grandmother "to be safe and bless me".
So, I showed the boys one of my favorite video's from my childhood, "A Touch Of Grey" by 'Grateful Dead'. It's the one with the skeletons dancing...As soon as we heard it, I said "Greycie" and we all agreed it was perfect. On the way to the hospital, of all songs to come on, was 'Jefferson Airplane' with Grace Slick on vocals, singing "white rabbit". That sealed the deal. My mothers name was Elizabeth and she died when I was 10. Greycie Elizabeth Young was brought in to this world on 3-3-11 weighing a little over 8 pounds and was a screamer! but ohhhhh was she so beautiful! We were all hooked!
Even tho all my pregnancies were "easy" meaning I had no complications, no issues, all natural born term babies and all labors under three hours (with grey there was a break in the pitocin drip but if you take out that, hers was under three hours as well) so even tho 'on the outside looking in', I had "perfect" labors...They were excruciating. With grey, I was just miserable. I could barely move most days.
I was so meticulously healthy every time I was pregnant, I didn't smoke or do drugs or eat junk...I was just in so much pain with her that I could barely enjoy it. And since she was born my pain level has increased to the point that I am now physically disabled according to the Federal Government. I receive a small check every month and that is all the income we have.
So, to make a long story short, I now have a cyst in the front teeth's roots that is growing larger and becoming more painful daily. From all the research I have done, there are many dentists and doctors who vehemently appose "root canal treatments" that are done with heavy metals and allergies that leave a breeding room for bacteria and cause all the problems I have and more. The infections barely "come and go" anymore, they pretty much just stay put. I'm alway sick. It's now affectiong my heart causing a mitral valve prolapse with a murmur and this is the reason for my heart palpitations and chest pain. (among other problems) which i've always been told was just stress, anxiety or panic attacks. he also found that i have quite a bit of retinal vein occlusion, which means the veins in my eyes are hardening and it could cause glaucoma, blindness etc etc..
I just started this new doctor a little over a month ago and in 2 hours he found things that my other doctor had not seen in the whole 2 years I was going to him. This bacteria breeding ground is now affecting my whole body.
The easiest, quickest, fastest and truthfully only way to fix this so that I may heal and live to raise my children till they are confident enough to thrive on their own, is to to just rip all these teeth out and put some new ones in. Now, I'm totally fine with never having teeth again...I will take being healthy and out of pain with no teeth over what I have now, I won't complain. But, when I told my son about what needs to happen, he started crying, he doesn't want me to look like an old grandmother and that is exactly why they wouldn't rip my teeth out when i begged them to years ago.
I need this. My children deserve to have a happy healthy mother to raise them. I have very limited family to help and most of my friends are as broke as I am. I saw this and I just finally stopped crying and had a moment of HOPE! I am going to ask the universe to help me on this one. I need A LOT of money. My insurance will not cover it. I need A LOT of money, NOW. I just can't live like this anymore. I won't tell you how hard it is to keep my head out of the darkness anymore. I truly feel like I am dying. I just want to rest.
I want you all to know me, to see me. I am linking my facebook, you can see my children, you can see my friends. You will know, if you trust the universe and your gut like I do, you WILL KNOW, that I am honest and in true dire straits. I really don't have any other ideas. I really don't have any other way to get the money. This is for my son Levi, because he doesn't want to see me without teeth. He is 11 and he is emotional. (he is also on the spectrum, unmedicated and healthy and happy).
Please, if you've ever wanted to do something truly amazing for someone who will never have a way to repay you (but will always pay it forward as often as possible) PLEASE heal my children and keep them safe. I promise you that I will live life to the fullest, I will get back to all my favorite hobbies, drawing, art, reading..yoga! EVERYTHING! I promise you I will thrive and I will not waste a day. I want to live. Really live. And to do this, I need to remove every tooth and get brand new ones with no heavy metals or allergen materials.
Please. I do believe this will take all of this sickness away. I really want this sickness to go away. I really want to watch my children grow.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please feel free to ask me ANYTHING. thank you, from the bottom of my heart and soul and thank you infinitely from my children whom will benefit the most from this miracle.
All my love, Trish.