Homeless and losing everything

Meet Charlie (pictured above). Charlie has been a dear friend of mine for the past 13 years. In other words, I know her story quite well.

Said simply, she needs help. Financially, physically, and emotionally. I have set up this GoFundMe campaign, on her behalf, with the hope that alleviating some pressure on the first need in that list will allow her the breathing room necessary to address the latter two before it is too late.

As is the case with far too many good people, life has continually dealt her one difficult hand after the next. The difficult path that has been her life would be enough to bring even the strongest of us to our knees. Accordingly, it has led her to a place where she quite literally stands to lose everything.

How did she get here?

Without exposing the sordid details, Charlie's childhood was nothing short of tragic. She endured every imaginable sort of abuse. Abuse no child should endure. From a mother who should have been her most staunch protector, to subsequent foster parents who were equally as culpable, to group home staff. She never knew a safe place. As empathetic as I am by nature, the resulting psychological impacts are truly beyond what I can fathom.

Into adulthood, the lasting burden of her early life experiences have proved crippling. To be fair, as is typical with circumstances such as these, emotional struggles tend to beget some poor life choices. Choices which have admittedly conspired to exacerbate her plight.

Whether directly related to her childhood experiences or not, I do not know, but she suffers from bipolar disorder. Certainly related, is her anxiety, which has grown to overwhelm her nearly completely. Over the past year, I have watched that anxiety go from bad to worse. She self-medicates to her peril. Her ability to cope with even the most mundane day-to-day tasks in life has deteriorated substantially. Unable to focus and socially interact, it has made her incapable of holding down even a menial job. Fibromyalgia has affected her ability to work as well.

Excepting me, she hasn’t a friend in this world. No one to turn to. She has no family to go to for help or support either. I have never met a person who is as alone in this world as she is. In fairness, her anxiety and depression are challenging to deal with and quickly send most people running for the hills. Of course, that only adds to her social anxiety and depression.

Through it all, she has somehow managed to remain a kind soul. A broken soul, but a kind soul nonetheless.

Generous to a fault, she seeks ways to help others in whatever ways she is able. She truly has a beautiful heart. Unfortunately, a couple of unsavory people have recently preyed upon her weakness and vulnerability. In spite of her own circumstances, she allowed two people who had even less than she did into her home for a place to stay. Sadly, they took advantage of her, absconding with the money she had saved, and left her unable to pay her rent. Too far behind already and unable to catch up she is now being evicted. In hindsight, it was inevitable with the way things have been going, but this did accelerate the decline.

 

To make things worse, she was letting another "friend" use her car. A “friend” who had promised to put oil in, chose to ignore the oil light instead, and fried the engine. This “friend” was not a friend at all, but someone who simply used her for her generosity to the extent that he could. She needed to borrow money from me just to get the car towed off the highway where it was left. It now sits with a non-working engine. Even so, at this point, she isn’t in a position to afford insurance even if the car were working. She is at literal rock bottom.

She hasn’t a penny to her name. No more car. Immense medical debt in collection. Behind on all her bills. She is being evicted and is about to be homeless. She will lose all of her belongings without any place to put them. I told her I would try to move what I could into storage for her for some amount of time if it came down to it.

For my part, I have come to realize how foolish I have been through this. I have been urging her repeatedly to "call and get help" as she spiraled further downward. I see now that, in essence, it was like asking a drowning person to save herself from drowning by swimming to shore.

Upon that realization, I thought I would step in and instead find that help for her. Oh how I have tried. I have researched state programs, community organizations, performed countless internet searches and made phone call after phone call. All I find is one dead end after another.

To provide one actual example, I called 211, which is the statewide hotline for homelessness services. It is one of the places I was pestering her to call. My experience was maddening. I was told they would not help until she is actually homeless. This, mind you, is in contrast to the multitude of state programs listed on the internet that allegedly exist to help people who are homeless *or* at risk of becoming homeless. Or people. Or. Apparently not. Yet all of the programs I find each say you need a referral from 211, which they say they won’t do until she is homeless.

I pressed on asking for other options. I asked lots of question. I was told she is not eligible for subsidized housing because she no longer has income and she needs income to qualify for subsidized housing. It was like talking in circles. I was then told that when the judge in her eviction case finally orders her out of her place, "she can call back" and they can refer her to a homeless shelter "if there is availability". I reminded the gentleman I was speaking to that I was calling on her behalf to begin with because she is incapable of doing so. That was met with silence. So, I continued to press on anyway and said, “Once she is evicted, assume I call again for her, what are the chances there will be a shelter with availability?” The answer? "Well it is winter. It's very busy. There are warming centers though."

I asked incredulously "What does the state say to people who have nothing, no job, are going to be imminently homeless, and have a dire need for mental health services? Too bad?" I was told, "Well, the state really doesn't do anything for that". I half wanted to cry, half wanted to spit my teeth out. There I was expecting someone who can't even navigate voice prompts (Charlie) to "get help" and I, who has it together, can't find said help for her anywhere despite my very best efforts.

Disability? Doesn't qualify. SSI? Doesn't qualify. Subsidized housing? Doesn't qualify. Inpatient mental health services? Place after place, waiting list. Homeless prevention services? Only after she’s homeless. Perplexing isn’t it? For the life of me I cannot find any way to help keep her from being on the street and at the mercy of "depending on availability" in a homeless shelter. Meanwhile there are legitimately able-bodied people who milk the system for benefits. The system is failing here and it pains me.

Now what?

I have done what I can to be financially supportive and helpful to this point, but my own resources are limited. As I watch Charlie stand at the precipice of disaster, I am at a loss. So, I have decided to try and appeal to the collective generous hearts of all who read this for help.

The one thing I have found is a mental health caseworker who will work with Charlie on an outpatient basis and Charlie has finally agreed, after years, to go. That itself is a small miracle. However, that is never going to happen if she is sleeping under a bridge or bouncing between shelters and I don't know where to find her. At a minimum, she needs a safe place to stay. Somewhere I can pick her up and drop her off in order to take her to counseling appointments.

With appropriate counseling and balanced medication, I believe she can turn it around. I just need to buy her some time and be a facilitator in getting her there. I am hoping to help get her stable, so she can get back to working, and on a path to self-sufficiency. That is my end game.

My intent is to help her by using you heartfelt donations, along with what I can do on my own to cover very modest living expenses for her for 6 to 9 months. It will really be a challenge to stretch the money I am trying to raise to last that long, but in fairness to everyone who contributes my focus is on the bare minimum to get her by and get her help. I'll fill in gaps where I can on my own. I am also going to help her apply for SNAP, which she should qualify for, even though that has been an ongoing battle too, to help bear some of the burden.

Your help would give this woman a chance at healing. It would provide her with several months to turn this all around. It will keep her off the street. It will keep her from losing her belongings. It will keep her from losing her mind. It could save her life.

If everyone who reads this could spare just a dollar it would give Charlie the chance she so desperately needs to get real help. Beyond the actual money behind it. I think her seeing generosity from strangers, for her, for her wellbeing, would really be meaningful for her sense of self worth.

If you can't help with money you can offer encouraging words for her to read here. (Thanks Carry). You can pass this along and share it on your social media accounts to spread the word or through email to your friends and family.

I will provide an update after 6 months and after a year for anyone who would like to know how she is doing. This way you will know the difference your help has made.

Thank you and God bless you.