Funeral for Mom-Annita Sweeney Dunn
Donation protected
Hi! My name is Jen. I live in Brighton, IL with my husband, Nate, and our 5 month old son, Parker. We love living in the country, being outdoors, playing with our dogs, and spending time with our family and friends. Like most, we probably spend too much of our time working, but we both enjoy DIY home improvements in our free time. We also love to travel but haven’t been able to do much in the past several years.
My husband and I started dating in 2005 and were married in 2009. I lived with my mom (Annita) for a time after moving back to the area from Oklahoma City. I had suspicions that something was off with her, like depression or stress, but I really knew something was wrong after our wedding. She had forgotten a number of important things, including her gift to me (the dress). I kept ignoring it, thinking it wasn’t anything serious, but come January, it became impossible to dismiss. We went to see the doctor.
After months of testing, in July 2010, my Mom was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD) at the age of 58. FTD is a disease similar to Alzheimer’s, where the person who is diagnosed loses their ability to control their behaviors as they once did, then eventually loses their memories well. In the end, this person loses their ability to control basic and involuntary body functions (such as eating and breathing).
We were obviously devastated by this news but had no idea the financial ramifications of that diagnosis. I immediately took over my Mom’s finances and found out that, for what seemed to be about 5 years prior, due to one of the common symptoms of her disease, she had lost everything, financially speaking. She had no savings, no health insurance, no retirement, no equity in her home, and no life insurance. I had no idea how we were going to get through this, being a young newlywed couple who had just spent every last dollar on their dream wedding, but we were determined to do our best in helping her.
She was first advised to go to a local funeral home and make her funeral arrangements before losing the ability to make these choices for herself. The funeral home quoted us around $8500, but that did not include the cemetery’s charges. For a 28 year old paying her way through college while working full time and taking out ever-growing student loan debt, this was a punch in the gut for sure. I knew I had to make it my mission to save money for her funeral. I was so naïve.
Mom had been self employed for over 40 years as a hairdresser but had lost more than half of her clients within a few months of her diagnosis. Considering her finances, we immediately applied for disability and emergency public aide. We were told that she would have to go through an approval process, which could take months. Knowing that we couldn’t afford to keep her in her rental home or place her in assisted living, we bought a small apartment near family, so everyone could help with her care. We reduced her budget and tried to be as conservative as possible with ours, but it still wasn’t enough. Eventually I had to drop out of college and quit my job so I could care for her full time, so that left my husband to be the sole breadwinner.
We eventually got approved for disability, but the disability was not enough to cover all the medical expenses, medications, food, personal goods, and clothing. My husband and I had to cover that for her. There was never any extra money. We managed to scrape by, thank God, but there was never a financial surplus. This went on for the next 4 years.
In April of 2014, my husband and I found out we were going to have our first child. We were elated after struggling with infertility issues but also saddened knowing my Mom had declined enough to require around the clock care. In October of that same year, she suffered a fall and has been rapidly declining ever since. In December, Parker was born, and Mom got to be at the hospital for the most wonderful day of our lives. She also got to celebrate the holidays with us, but unfortunately, after the New Year, she started declining even faster. This week we had to place her in hospice care.
The change to hospice has made it a reality that my Mom won’t be with us much longer. As an only child and having spent most of my childhood living with her as a single Mom, we were very close and still are. Until I had Parker and she could no longer talk on the phone, we hadn’t gone more than 1 or 2 days without talking in my life. As you can imagine, I am completely heartbroken, but soon, the cost of this heartbreaking reality will become more clear and real, not just emotionally, but financially.
I’m not very good at asking for help. I’ve always been an independent, do it myself, kinda gal. But I know this is more than I can handle, so I am asking you to search your heart and please consider helping my Mom and I out with her funeral expenses. We really appreciate anything you can offer. Every little bit counts.
Thank you in advance for reading my story and for considering helping us out. We are so grateful for all the support we have received from so many people encouraging us and praying for us. That means more than you will ever know.
We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.
With much love,
Jen Brooks (formerly Jen Dunn)
My husband and I started dating in 2005 and were married in 2009. I lived with my mom (Annita) for a time after moving back to the area from Oklahoma City. I had suspicions that something was off with her, like depression or stress, but I really knew something was wrong after our wedding. She had forgotten a number of important things, including her gift to me (the dress). I kept ignoring it, thinking it wasn’t anything serious, but come January, it became impossible to dismiss. We went to see the doctor.
After months of testing, in July 2010, my Mom was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD) at the age of 58. FTD is a disease similar to Alzheimer’s, where the person who is diagnosed loses their ability to control their behaviors as they once did, then eventually loses their memories well. In the end, this person loses their ability to control basic and involuntary body functions (such as eating and breathing).
We were obviously devastated by this news but had no idea the financial ramifications of that diagnosis. I immediately took over my Mom’s finances and found out that, for what seemed to be about 5 years prior, due to one of the common symptoms of her disease, she had lost everything, financially speaking. She had no savings, no health insurance, no retirement, no equity in her home, and no life insurance. I had no idea how we were going to get through this, being a young newlywed couple who had just spent every last dollar on their dream wedding, but we were determined to do our best in helping her.
She was first advised to go to a local funeral home and make her funeral arrangements before losing the ability to make these choices for herself. The funeral home quoted us around $8500, but that did not include the cemetery’s charges. For a 28 year old paying her way through college while working full time and taking out ever-growing student loan debt, this was a punch in the gut for sure. I knew I had to make it my mission to save money for her funeral. I was so naïve.
Mom had been self employed for over 40 years as a hairdresser but had lost more than half of her clients within a few months of her diagnosis. Considering her finances, we immediately applied for disability and emergency public aide. We were told that she would have to go through an approval process, which could take months. Knowing that we couldn’t afford to keep her in her rental home or place her in assisted living, we bought a small apartment near family, so everyone could help with her care. We reduced her budget and tried to be as conservative as possible with ours, but it still wasn’t enough. Eventually I had to drop out of college and quit my job so I could care for her full time, so that left my husband to be the sole breadwinner.
We eventually got approved for disability, but the disability was not enough to cover all the medical expenses, medications, food, personal goods, and clothing. My husband and I had to cover that for her. There was never any extra money. We managed to scrape by, thank God, but there was never a financial surplus. This went on for the next 4 years.
In April of 2014, my husband and I found out we were going to have our first child. We were elated after struggling with infertility issues but also saddened knowing my Mom had declined enough to require around the clock care. In October of that same year, she suffered a fall and has been rapidly declining ever since. In December, Parker was born, and Mom got to be at the hospital for the most wonderful day of our lives. She also got to celebrate the holidays with us, but unfortunately, after the New Year, she started declining even faster. This week we had to place her in hospice care.
The change to hospice has made it a reality that my Mom won’t be with us much longer. As an only child and having spent most of my childhood living with her as a single Mom, we were very close and still are. Until I had Parker and she could no longer talk on the phone, we hadn’t gone more than 1 or 2 days without talking in my life. As you can imagine, I am completely heartbroken, but soon, the cost of this heartbreaking reality will become more clear and real, not just emotionally, but financially.
I’m not very good at asking for help. I’ve always been an independent, do it myself, kinda gal. But I know this is more than I can handle, so I am asking you to search your heart and please consider helping my Mom and I out with her funeral expenses. We really appreciate anything you can offer. Every little bit counts.
Thank you in advance for reading my story and for considering helping us out. We are so grateful for all the support we have received from so many people encouraging us and praying for us. That means more than you will ever know.
We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.
With much love,
Jen Brooks (formerly Jen Dunn)
Organizer
Jennifer J. Brooks
Organizer
Brighton, IL
