"We Got This!!"

Im going to explain my illness and why i am docimenting my journey..  I have a rare condition im not the same as any1 else read up on my page it explains i have heart & double kidney failure (same as only 2 others in the world inc jonah lumu (rugby player) hyper tension in the brain as ive just ad a bleed (stroke) 7months ago which has triggered this all off.. I've gone from stage 2 kidney failure to stage 5 chronic kidney disease and each kidney is on 1.5% function and currently in need of constant dyalasis now coz my body (blood pressure hypertension) im not creating enough red blood cells which is killing me off and prevents me frm having safe operations ect.. hence blood transfusions ive had tp have along with tbe EPO injections and claxine injections to thinnen my blood, My kidneys have fully failed and are being maintained on dialisys i also suffer from Heart Failure, Crohns Disease with my stomach, Colitus with intestines also Hypertension with my Blood pressure, ive had to have a Direct line fitted to the artery in my neck, currently recieving dyalasis 3 times a week for approx 3-4hrs each time.. i am a loving father of four gorgeous children who are my world along woth 2 dogs, 2 budgies and some very beautiful tropical fish, everything about my illness is on my @EnzoFoundation page, all info on my medical procedures i.e fistula & transplant work up is also on my page, i have been documenting my journey from day 1 or shall i say the first admission to hospital, even if its gotten me in trouble with the hospital ive attended and some times even affected my health.. Even the specialists said (well least you've been lucky enough to have 12yrs from your first prognosis) ive broken down to my mother, explaining how alone, lost, tired i am n not sure if I can even keep this fight up i feel drained no lie.. no fight left in me! i wish I had some1 to hold me n say everythin is going to be ok.. i just feel for my kids as im not guna be able to be the father i want to be, To be able to do the stuff im meant to do or want to do with thm.. at least my eldest two are old enough to understand and know my situation.. plus ive done alot with thm since my first diagnosis but as for my youngest two there are still loads i havnet done with them being so young and me missing out on the last 2 years.. im afraid they wont remember me if and  when I do start seein thm again what will they think of me?? i don't want thm to not know me or to think bad of me not bein able to do things with them or to be able to be there for thm.. this is killin me i won't lie.. I don't even know why I'm putting this out there, maybe just for peice of mind or just a release of all this pressure/stress thats built up in my mind and it's the only way to get it out or maybe my way of saying exactly how I feel n whats goin on in my head.. maybe the kids will read this in time and they might understand how I was feeling n what was actually goin on behind the scenes lol I dont know tbh my heads in bits.. I always act so strong and that nothing bothers me and that im always alright hiding my try feelings wether its health/mental or emotionally but i cant go on pretending or lying to myself anymore and I need to accept the facts/truth im dying and like the specialists have said its all about end of life planning or making the most of what i have (not length of time but more quality of time) but 1 thing is for sure ive met some amazing people and hopefully left a mark on every1s life in some way or another. I just want tp say a massive thnk ypu to salford royal for all of their support and care given to me over the years.. love you guys so much honestly all the get well messages gestures of good will ect i really do appreciate from all of my followers on the @EnzoFoundation page.. every single 1 of thm they mean the world to me!! ❤ anyways I think that's enough for now and ill keep u all posted on my journey of u become a member of the page.. fingers crossed all of my procedures go well and i manage to get a transplant (kidney & heart) in the future.. im currently awaiting a fistula in my arm, an angiogram on my heart along with transplant work up.. thank you so much for your support ans hopefully i can persure my dream of completing my bucket list with my children!

Fb page - @EnzoFoundation 
Slogan - #WeGotThis