Help Martin And His Wife Reunite - Read My Story
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If you are reading this then I sincerely thank you for taking the time to do so. This is a personal appeal from myself to not only try to reunite two people needlessly torn apart but to also attempt to rectify and right some wrongs that have been done upon myself and to those close and dear to me.
My story begins four years ago when I left my native UK home to seek and pursue a life in mainland China. Arriving to live and work in the city of Shenzhen, life for me quickly worked out very well there as I settled in nicely and embarked upon a promising new career. In 2017 I was lucky enough to meet my future wife Pamela with whom I have been inseparable from since. Needless to say from the time of meeting her we were already planning to settle down together and build a life and family for ourselves in China.
Me and my wife Pamela on holiday in Beijing
Around 18 months later we received the wonderful news that Pamela was pregnant which made our decision even more resolute and concrete to begin to settle down and raise a family together. Our elation was short-lived however as six weeks into the pregnancy Pamela suffered a miscarriage in what doctors diagnosed as a "phantom pregnancy". Medical professionals, friends and family were there for us and did their best to console us. I too tried my best to be a source of strength and comfort to Pamela however I knew that for any Mother to be, such a loss would leave emotional wounds that would not be so easily healed.
As it transpired, Pamela had suffered from bouts of depression before in her life and this latest life crisis again put her into a very bad state mentally. She began to exhibit classic signs of chronic depression (hopelessness, not eating, not leaving the house etc) to the point where her family and I decided to seek professional help for her. She was checked into a hospital specializing in psychiatric illness where she was diagnosed with having severe post-natal depression and was advised to remain in full-time care and undergo various therapies in order to treat her condition. In order to facilitate her full-time care, I had to quit my job to assist in her 24-hour supervision (this is standard Chinese procedure due to high population numbers and limited medical personnel) and so from the months of August 2019 through to December 2019 I stayed in the hospital with her whilst she received her treatment for the condition.
The hospital documents I was required to sign to become Pamela's legal guardian and full-time carer whilst she was in treatment.
Pamela undergoing a rather rigorous needle therapy and electrotherapy session as part of her treatment plan.
The five months in the hospital certainly took their toll. To spend this length of time in such an environment can become very taxing on one's mental wellbeing, mine included. Pamela was also subjected to some quite invasive and stressful procedures such as electrotherapy and needle acupuncture (both standard Chinese medical practices). There were plenty of hard days where I would have to watch her suffer breakdowns and there were days where I also felt I may do the same. Despite the hardships and tribulations, however, Pamela persevered and we made it through the entirety of her treatment. Come December of 2019 she was ready to be discharged from hospital. It was around this time also I got back into work and had managed to secure a great position in a relatively new location in our home city of Shenzhen. After an arduous year, it finally looked like we were in a position to make a fresh start and continue on with our lives.
2020 rolled around and needless to say, the now ever-famous COVID 19 coronavirus reared its ugly head. As the world now knows this virus originated from China and so us living in China meant we were among the first globally to feel the effects and being the first meant that we were without warning thus the effects were far more severe. Security measures taken by the Chinese government were quite extreme to the point of being draconian and involved being locked (Against our will!) in our homes, food being rationed and travel strictly prohibited. Any violation of rules no matter how small (not wearing masks in public, not submitting daily health updates etc) were harshly punished and going to work at this time was absolutely out of the question. Unlike the UK and other countries, there was no furlough scheme or any kind of financial support during this time and so financially we became very stretched as I had only been back at work in my new job for six weeks when the pandemic struck. To make matters even worse, in February I was unlucky enough to contract the virus and spent 3 days in the ICU and a further few weeks recovering. Again, despite the hardships, Pamela and I were able to persevere even though we were seldom able to see each other or spend time together during this period. Just as we thought we had ridden out this awful time little did we know things again would take a turn for the worse.
January Lockdown 2020 in China where face coverings and isolation instantly become mandatory law
Day two of my stint in the ICU receiving emergency treatment for COVID 19
Certificate validating my successful treatment and officially declaring me COVID free
As I previously mentioned, the lockdown in China that began in mid-January 2020 had prevented me and Pamela from working and without any welfare or financial support scheme we were without any income. This, combined with the hospital bills and stay, was beginning to put us in significant financial difficulty. I began to enquire if there were any ways in which there was support to remedy this and found that the UK government offered subsistence support to UK nationals stranded abroad. As China at this point was on strict lockdown (zero travel allowed) and due to our particular financial situation, I applied for a subsistence loan which the UK government said would be granted to any foreign national stuck abroad because of COVID. As we were barely able to make rent at the time and literally going without food at times I was confident the UK government would assist in some way and so I was surprised to receive a swift rejection of my application for a subsistence loan. Despite numerous calls and emails to both the UK embassy in China and the London Foreign office asking for detailed reasons as to why my application was rejected the response was simply I did not qualify and that the decision was final.
UK government website stating that if required stranded Brits abroad are eligible for emergency financial assistance from the government.
Prompt rejection of my bid for a subsistence loan from the British Embassy.
Despite receiving no support from the government we were able to make it through to June 2020 when lockdown measures in China began to ease and getting back to work was on the horizon. It seemed like a light at the end of the tunnel and that we had made it through. Again disaster would strike as political tensions between China and the West (particularly America and the UK) began to turn sour. China has always had strict laws and harsh measures on immigration and so with recent events in the world and political unrest due to COVID the Chinese authorities have been ousting foreigners from the country without reason. As it turned out, I was singled out for such treatment as I received a summons to the local police station where I was accused of overstaying my visa. I initially thought there had been a mistake as I had a signed and stamped visa extension notice which I was well within (see the attached photos as proof!). However it soon became clear that the police were simply looking to get rid of foreigners from the area and so they ignored my documentation proving I was well within my visa limits and after subjecting me to a 5 day stretch in jail they gave me 10 days in which to leave the country.
Apologies for those who cannot read Chinese! This is the letter issued to me by the police which I was forced to sign admitting that I allegedly overstayed my visa.
My residence permit and visa extension permit. Notice that the visa extension date is June the 16th 2020 and not March 18th as written in the Police letter issued to me. Both documents bear the stamp and seal of the Chinese police and so are legally binding documents however the police in this instance chose to ignore this and proceeded to go about removing me from the country.
After being dealt with this bombshell I once again turned to the British embassy for urgent assistance and once again I received virtually no aid or help whatsoever. Despite telling them my situation, despite telling them I had a wife who had recently come through a major health trauma and despite providing them with documentary evidence I had not breached my visa conditions they simply brushed me off and said there was nothing they could do, even after 60+ emails and countless phone calls to both the Guangzhou British embassy AND the London foreign office. To make matters even worse the embassy contacted me to tell me I must be responsible to pay for my flight home. I had no choice in this matter and because of COVID the flight options to the UK at this time were extremely limited and the prices hugely inflated. I was told I must take a flight direct to the UK costing £3000 pounds, non-negotiable. I protested and told them that it would be cheaper for me to go to a bordering country and fly from there (Hong Kong was literally 30 minutes from where I was living and would have cost around £400 pounds for a flight home) however the embassy simply told me this was not an option. As mentioned before I was financially strapped at this point thanks to the hospital stay/bills and the lockdown so the embassy told me I would be issued a repatriation loan which I must accept or else be subjected to the Chinese authorities (jail and deportation). Remember folks, these are the same people who refused me a subsistence loan saying I did not qualify (despite barely making rent and barely having money to eat and survive) yet they found it perfectly acceptable to hand me a £3000 non-negotiable debt for a one-way flight home despite my proof of no wrongdoing and despite there being significantly cheaper means in which to get back to the UK. Although I was (and still am) disgusted at how this affair has been handled by both the Chinese and the UK authorities, failure to comply may have meant deportation and being banned from China which could ruin any future with my wife and so grudgingly I had to accept their terms.
So here I am folks. I am currently back in the UK eleven days after finishing my mandatory two weeks stay in a COVID quarantine centre. I had to exit China on the 12th of July, leaving my job, my home and most significantly a heartbroken wife. Since the last call I received from the embassy (checking I was definitely boarding the £3000 pound flight they organised at my expense) I have had zero correspondence with them other than details of the loan I am now expected to repay them. China's borders still remain closed indefinitely because of the COVID virus and so for the foreseeable future, I cannot get back to my wife and my home. I am still in touch with my wife every day however I fear for her well being now as she told me she feels like she is relapsing again into depression because of what has happened. She has also told me that because of the political tensions and unrest in the world right now she is receiving harassment from locals as she has a foreign husband. There is also the added financial stress of unpaid hospital bills etc and the uncertain future of employment and economic stability in general at the moment.
If you have read my story up to this point I give you my sincere thanks, I realise it is quite a long-winded tale! Although my story thus far hasn't exactly been the happiest thing you will read, I wish to stress that after everything that has happened I am still here. Despite enduring loss, nursing loved ones, the COVID fiasco, illness, lockdown, police maltreatment, jail cells, financial woes, quarantine centres etc I still remain. I am not beat yet and although she is thousands of miles away I still have a wife who depends on me to be there for her. I also wish to challenge the actions taken by the embassy and get some answers for their complete lack of support in what was an extremely difficult situation for me and Pamela. Such behaviour shouldn't go unchallenged.
And so that's about it. As I said before, I am still here and haven't given up, I won't abandon my future with my wife but I do need help. This has become a situation that I alone cannot resolve without some support hence this appeal. The sum of money that I have put as my target fundraising goal is to cover several costs which are listed as follows;
*To clear some of the medical bills from Pamela's stay in the hospital
*To enlist legal services in China to file a case against the police for malpractice
*To enlist legal services specializing in immigration law to appeal against the actions taken by the British embassy.
*To ensure that if need be we can get Pamela out of China if she continues to face hardship as political tensions surrounding China continue to escalate.
I consider myself a proud person and so I have found it difficult to make this appeal, however, I also understand the gravity of my situation and that I require help if I am to fight this. I also know that more than anything I wish to be reconnected with my wife. I also believe that people should perhaps hear this story and realise that even despite having the best of intentions for ourselves and for those we care about, life can still stack the odds against us.
If you have made it to here you are at the end of my appeal. I cannot thank you enough for persevering with my story. Truth be told, despite this being a fundraiser I would be happy if the only outcome here was that people could read my tale. Although some financial aid for this situation would be wonderful I fully understand that in our current world of madness and chaos and crazy daily goings-on that I may just be another faceless person in the crowd. However if I somehow have struck a chord with you through this story and you do decide to donate to this cause you truly have my deepest thanks.
I can't deny that what has happened to me has shaken my resolve somewhat and dampened my spirit a little however my optimism remains. I'm just lucky I have a wife like Pamela who continues to give me hope. I hope all people have someone by their side who continues to give them hope and courage.
Stay safe everyone and God bless.
Martin (& Pamela)
My story begins four years ago when I left my native UK home to seek and pursue a life in mainland China. Arriving to live and work in the city of Shenzhen, life for me quickly worked out very well there as I settled in nicely and embarked upon a promising new career. In 2017 I was lucky enough to meet my future wife Pamela with whom I have been inseparable from since. Needless to say from the time of meeting her we were already planning to settle down together and build a life and family for ourselves in China.
Me and my wife Pamela on holiday in Beijing
Around 18 months later we received the wonderful news that Pamela was pregnant which made our decision even more resolute and concrete to begin to settle down and raise a family together. Our elation was short-lived however as six weeks into the pregnancy Pamela suffered a miscarriage in what doctors diagnosed as a "phantom pregnancy". Medical professionals, friends and family were there for us and did their best to console us. I too tried my best to be a source of strength and comfort to Pamela however I knew that for any Mother to be, such a loss would leave emotional wounds that would not be so easily healed.
As it transpired, Pamela had suffered from bouts of depression before in her life and this latest life crisis again put her into a very bad state mentally. She began to exhibit classic signs of chronic depression (hopelessness, not eating, not leaving the house etc) to the point where her family and I decided to seek professional help for her. She was checked into a hospital specializing in psychiatric illness where she was diagnosed with having severe post-natal depression and was advised to remain in full-time care and undergo various therapies in order to treat her condition. In order to facilitate her full-time care, I had to quit my job to assist in her 24-hour supervision (this is standard Chinese procedure due to high population numbers and limited medical personnel) and so from the months of August 2019 through to December 2019 I stayed in the hospital with her whilst she received her treatment for the condition.
The hospital documents I was required to sign to become Pamela's legal guardian and full-time carer whilst she was in treatment.
Pamela undergoing a rather rigorous needle therapy and electrotherapy session as part of her treatment plan.
The five months in the hospital certainly took their toll. To spend this length of time in such an environment can become very taxing on one's mental wellbeing, mine included. Pamela was also subjected to some quite invasive and stressful procedures such as electrotherapy and needle acupuncture (both standard Chinese medical practices). There were plenty of hard days where I would have to watch her suffer breakdowns and there were days where I also felt I may do the same. Despite the hardships and tribulations, however, Pamela persevered and we made it through the entirety of her treatment. Come December of 2019 she was ready to be discharged from hospital. It was around this time also I got back into work and had managed to secure a great position in a relatively new location in our home city of Shenzhen. After an arduous year, it finally looked like we were in a position to make a fresh start and continue on with our lives.
2020 rolled around and needless to say, the now ever-famous COVID 19 coronavirus reared its ugly head. As the world now knows this virus originated from China and so us living in China meant we were among the first globally to feel the effects and being the first meant that we were without warning thus the effects were far more severe. Security measures taken by the Chinese government were quite extreme to the point of being draconian and involved being locked (Against our will!) in our homes, food being rationed and travel strictly prohibited. Any violation of rules no matter how small (not wearing masks in public, not submitting daily health updates etc) were harshly punished and going to work at this time was absolutely out of the question. Unlike the UK and other countries, there was no furlough scheme or any kind of financial support during this time and so financially we became very stretched as I had only been back at work in my new job for six weeks when the pandemic struck. To make matters even worse, in February I was unlucky enough to contract the virus and spent 3 days in the ICU and a further few weeks recovering. Again, despite the hardships, Pamela and I were able to persevere even though we were seldom able to see each other or spend time together during this period. Just as we thought we had ridden out this awful time little did we know things again would take a turn for the worse.
January Lockdown 2020 in China where face coverings and isolation instantly become mandatory law
Day two of my stint in the ICU receiving emergency treatment for COVID 19
Certificate validating my successful treatment and officially declaring me COVID free
As I previously mentioned, the lockdown in China that began in mid-January 2020 had prevented me and Pamela from working and without any welfare or financial support scheme we were without any income. This, combined with the hospital bills and stay, was beginning to put us in significant financial difficulty. I began to enquire if there were any ways in which there was support to remedy this and found that the UK government offered subsistence support to UK nationals stranded abroad. As China at this point was on strict lockdown (zero travel allowed) and due to our particular financial situation, I applied for a subsistence loan which the UK government said would be granted to any foreign national stuck abroad because of COVID. As we were barely able to make rent at the time and literally going without food at times I was confident the UK government would assist in some way and so I was surprised to receive a swift rejection of my application for a subsistence loan. Despite numerous calls and emails to both the UK embassy in China and the London Foreign office asking for detailed reasons as to why my application was rejected the response was simply I did not qualify and that the decision was final.
UK government website stating that if required stranded Brits abroad are eligible for emergency financial assistance from the government.
Prompt rejection of my bid for a subsistence loan from the British Embassy.
Despite receiving no support from the government we were able to make it through to June 2020 when lockdown measures in China began to ease and getting back to work was on the horizon. It seemed like a light at the end of the tunnel and that we had made it through. Again disaster would strike as political tensions between China and the West (particularly America and the UK) began to turn sour. China has always had strict laws and harsh measures on immigration and so with recent events in the world and political unrest due to COVID the Chinese authorities have been ousting foreigners from the country without reason. As it turned out, I was singled out for such treatment as I received a summons to the local police station where I was accused of overstaying my visa. I initially thought there had been a mistake as I had a signed and stamped visa extension notice which I was well within (see the attached photos as proof!). However it soon became clear that the police were simply looking to get rid of foreigners from the area and so they ignored my documentation proving I was well within my visa limits and after subjecting me to a 5 day stretch in jail they gave me 10 days in which to leave the country.
Apologies for those who cannot read Chinese! This is the letter issued to me by the police which I was forced to sign admitting that I allegedly overstayed my visa.
My residence permit and visa extension permit. Notice that the visa extension date is June the 16th 2020 and not March 18th as written in the Police letter issued to me. Both documents bear the stamp and seal of the Chinese police and so are legally binding documents however the police in this instance chose to ignore this and proceeded to go about removing me from the country.
After being dealt with this bombshell I once again turned to the British embassy for urgent assistance and once again I received virtually no aid or help whatsoever. Despite telling them my situation, despite telling them I had a wife who had recently come through a major health trauma and despite providing them with documentary evidence I had not breached my visa conditions they simply brushed me off and said there was nothing they could do, even after 60+ emails and countless phone calls to both the Guangzhou British embassy AND the London foreign office. To make matters even worse the embassy contacted me to tell me I must be responsible to pay for my flight home. I had no choice in this matter and because of COVID the flight options to the UK at this time were extremely limited and the prices hugely inflated. I was told I must take a flight direct to the UK costing £3000 pounds, non-negotiable. I protested and told them that it would be cheaper for me to go to a bordering country and fly from there (Hong Kong was literally 30 minutes from where I was living and would have cost around £400 pounds for a flight home) however the embassy simply told me this was not an option. As mentioned before I was financially strapped at this point thanks to the hospital stay/bills and the lockdown so the embassy told me I would be issued a repatriation loan which I must accept or else be subjected to the Chinese authorities (jail and deportation). Remember folks, these are the same people who refused me a subsistence loan saying I did not qualify (despite barely making rent and barely having money to eat and survive) yet they found it perfectly acceptable to hand me a £3000 non-negotiable debt for a one-way flight home despite my proof of no wrongdoing and despite there being significantly cheaper means in which to get back to the UK. Although I was (and still am) disgusted at how this affair has been handled by both the Chinese and the UK authorities, failure to comply may have meant deportation and being banned from China which could ruin any future with my wife and so grudgingly I had to accept their terms.
So here I am folks. I am currently back in the UK eleven days after finishing my mandatory two weeks stay in a COVID quarantine centre. I had to exit China on the 12th of July, leaving my job, my home and most significantly a heartbroken wife. Since the last call I received from the embassy (checking I was definitely boarding the £3000 pound flight they organised at my expense) I have had zero correspondence with them other than details of the loan I am now expected to repay them. China's borders still remain closed indefinitely because of the COVID virus and so for the foreseeable future, I cannot get back to my wife and my home. I am still in touch with my wife every day however I fear for her well being now as she told me she feels like she is relapsing again into depression because of what has happened. She has also told me that because of the political tensions and unrest in the world right now she is receiving harassment from locals as she has a foreign husband. There is also the added financial stress of unpaid hospital bills etc and the uncertain future of employment and economic stability in general at the moment.
If you have read my story up to this point I give you my sincere thanks, I realise it is quite a long-winded tale! Although my story thus far hasn't exactly been the happiest thing you will read, I wish to stress that after everything that has happened I am still here. Despite enduring loss, nursing loved ones, the COVID fiasco, illness, lockdown, police maltreatment, jail cells, financial woes, quarantine centres etc I still remain. I am not beat yet and although she is thousands of miles away I still have a wife who depends on me to be there for her. I also wish to challenge the actions taken by the embassy and get some answers for their complete lack of support in what was an extremely difficult situation for me and Pamela. Such behaviour shouldn't go unchallenged.
And so that's about it. As I said before, I am still here and haven't given up, I won't abandon my future with my wife but I do need help. This has become a situation that I alone cannot resolve without some support hence this appeal. The sum of money that I have put as my target fundraising goal is to cover several costs which are listed as follows;
*To clear some of the medical bills from Pamela's stay in the hospital
*To enlist legal services in China to file a case against the police for malpractice
*To enlist legal services specializing in immigration law to appeal against the actions taken by the British embassy.
*To ensure that if need be we can get Pamela out of China if she continues to face hardship as political tensions surrounding China continue to escalate.
I consider myself a proud person and so I have found it difficult to make this appeal, however, I also understand the gravity of my situation and that I require help if I am to fight this. I also know that more than anything I wish to be reconnected with my wife. I also believe that people should perhaps hear this story and realise that even despite having the best of intentions for ourselves and for those we care about, life can still stack the odds against us.
If you have made it to here you are at the end of my appeal. I cannot thank you enough for persevering with my story. Truth be told, despite this being a fundraiser I would be happy if the only outcome here was that people could read my tale. Although some financial aid for this situation would be wonderful I fully understand that in our current world of madness and chaos and crazy daily goings-on that I may just be another faceless person in the crowd. However if I somehow have struck a chord with you through this story and you do decide to donate to this cause you truly have my deepest thanks.
I can't deny that what has happened to me has shaken my resolve somewhat and dampened my spirit a little however my optimism remains. I'm just lucky I have a wife like Pamela who continues to give me hope. I hope all people have someone by their side who continues to give them hope and courage.
Stay safe everyone and God bless.
Martin (& Pamela)
Fundraising team (2)
Martin O'Brien
Organizer
Scotland
Demi Wei
Team member
