Battling cancer has cost them so much.
Donation protected
My grandparents adopted me when I was two years old, and raised me as their own. They gave me everything they possibly could; loved me an impossible amount.
My grandfather, Bobby -- who is the only father I've ever known, and who I've always called Daddy -- was diagnosed with prostate cancer over a decade ago. Since then, the cancer has spread all over his body. Currently, he is fighting Stage IV prostate, colon, rectal and bone cancer. I feel like I should mention that he's never smoked or drank a day in his life, and took very good care of himself, but cancer doesn't care how "well" you've lived your life, as we all know, so that's unimportant.
As far back as I can remember he was the only earner; the strongest and most hard working man. He not only provided for our home: he built it with his bare hands. My grandmother (Minnie)'s literal dream house. She woke up one day and told him about it, and he made note of her description. Later he drew up plans and built it to her specifications (he was a general contractor) back in their hometown of Goldsboro, North Carolina. And they did it without borrowing any money from the bank. Both of them were born into nothing, left home and eloped as teens with nothing, and worked so hard for themselves and their four children that he was able to build this home for her and they didn't even have a mortgage. They achieved their American Dream...
But over the last 13 years, the cancer has torn him down. He was self-employed, and had no insurance benefits. Prior to the cancer I'd only seen him sick once, with a cold. He went from working all day every day, (happily, he could never sit in the house past 7am when there were things that needed doin') except the Sabbath, to only some days. My grandmother had stayed home and raised me ever since we moved to NC, but around this time she went back to school and work. Eventually she became the sole breadwinner; my dad hasn't been able to work at all for the last 5 years or so. There are days he doesn't have the strength to get out of bed. At this point in time she works 40 hours per week at the daycare center she's been at for almost ten years, making a little above minimum wage.
My grandparents built their lives from nothing. They were born to farmers; they spent their childhoods in the tobacco and cotton fields. They both have incredible work ethic, faith, and resilience. They never took governmental assistance except Medicaid for me when I was young. They didn't receive child support for me from my parents. They have always jumped at the opportunity to help anyone they can, in any way they can, even opening the doors of their home to complete strangers needing places to stay. They paid their tithes and offerings, without fail. They ran their "one man and his woman" construction company with trust and empathy -- a little too much -- and were taken advantage of multiple times, but never even took anyone to court, instead opting to "let go and let God."
My dad is the sweetest, most gentle man I've ever known. Never an unkind word -- except a snide comment once about the man that attempted to win my grandmother's affections before him -- he's lived a remarkable life. Quiet, funny and good natured. Even now, no matter how much pain he is in, if you ask him how he's doing the most severe complaint you'll get in reply is "I'm here! Putting one foot in front of the other!"
I love him so much. He ensured that I never felt like my father was absent. He made it clear that I had a daddy, just like ever other girl did, only a generation further apart than most. He's been an incredible grandfather to my own daughters, who love him dearly as well.
Now, to get to the point:
His medications are incredibly expensive. One of the main prescriptions - there are many - he takes is Zytiga, a cancer drug that has without a doubt helped more than any other drug or treatment, besides surgery. Zytiga is over 7000$ per month alone. We've found programs that subsidize the costs to make his meds as affordable as possible but each of them only assist(ed) for a limited amount of time. He's had years of radiation and chemotherapy which have caused severe kidney problems. He has a coloscopy bag. He's had over a dozen different surgeries, dozens of unexpected and extended hospital stays. Medicare has helped with many of the hospital bills, but the debt just keeps rising.
Keeping him alive has not only killed his physical quality of life, but it's affected my grandmother in ways that hurt my dad to his core, because he takes his role as her provider and protector very seriously. The last thing they have left to show for their decades of hard work is that dream home which is slowly falling into disrepair, and they are too frequently on the brink of losing that too. They have had to finance and refinance it multiple times to afford surgeries and treatments for him, and went from having no mortgage to one that is 1800$/mo. They have been forced to take out loans, their once A1 credit score has plummeted. They never lived extravagantly, or spent money unwisely, even at their most comfortable, yet have had to cut back severely on everything in order to survive.
My mother, uncle, and I, and other members of the family and their church congregation have helped them by finding and helping them apply for subsidies and discount treatment programs to help offset the costs of the cancer, as well as giving them as much money as we can as often as we can. They need more than we've been able to provide.
He was admitted to the hospital again yesterday morning. He is dehydrated, and has a kidney infection. Doesn't sound severe, but in his condition, it can be. Hopefully that's all it is this time and he'll be able to come home soon. He already has tumors blocking his tract that force him to have a catheter, and is approaching kidney failure.
My grandmother slept in the recliner in his room last night, as she always does when he's admitted. Every day that she takes off of work to care for him or be with him or take him to an appointment, which she has to often, is a day she must go without pay. Thankfully FMLA protects her employment, but sometimes she has no choice but to leave him alone because she can't afford a smaller paycheck. We, the family, spend time with him and check on him to make sure he hasn't collapsed or fallen suddenly gravely ill as he has before.
Daddy's been sick for a long time, and he feels that the end is nigh. I hope so much that it isn't. They told him he had three years in the beginning. Look at him, still here 10 years past that expectation! But they are struggling in ways that I never expected to see, and it breaks my heart I can't do more for them, because they have done everything for me, and they didn't have to. He worries about my grandmother, after he passes. As of Feburary 19th, 2015, they have been married 55 years, and losing him is going to break her heart completely -- she's been hospitalized herself with blood pressure and heart issues due to stress during this ordeal -- and because their savings have been depleted. They are neck deep in debt. He didn't have life insurance before the diagnosis, and of course it became pretty much impossible to get a decent plan at an affordable price after that.
It's gotten so bad that last month, their propane tank ran out of gas and they were without heat for over a week before they were able to get enough money together to purchase more. They didn't tell anyone about this until after the fact; they hate burdening us, knowing that we each have situations of our own we are dealing with. They used a couple of space heaters.
I have watched his illness strip my grandparents of everything. They were supposed to be retired and traveling and enjoying life right now, in their 70s. Instead, they are scraping by and sitting in the ashes of the life they built, because of this disease.
I am asking for donations on their behalf, just to help with things for a bit. I chose a goal amount of $5,000 because that is roughly one months' mortgage payment and medical expenses for them both. I don't expect anything but I am hoping as hard as I can that someone is feeling charitable or generous when they read this. I'm hoping that all of their years of paying it forward will be rewarded by my doing this, and we can ease some of their stresses.
Anything you can spare will be greatly appreciated by them, by me, by my family, and by anyone else they've touched in their lives. If you can't give monetarily, I know that they would appreciate your prayers.
Thank you for reading, and please, share this on your Facebook and Twitter, whether you are able to donate or not.
María :)
Daddy's been sick for a long time, and he feels that the end is nigh. I hope so much that it isn't. They told him he had three years in the beginning. Look at him, still here 10 years past that expectation! But they are struggling in ways that I never expected to see, and it breaks my heart I can't do more for them, because they have done everything for me, and they didn't have to. He worries about my grandmother, after he passes. As of Feburary 19th, 2015, they have been married 55 years, and losing him is going to break her heart completely -- she's been hospitalized herself with blood pressure and heart issues due to stress during this ordeal -- and because their savings have been depleted. They are neck deep in debt. He didn't have life insurance before the diagnosis, and of course it became pretty much impossible to get a decent plan at an affordable price after that.
It's gotten so bad that last month, their propane tank ran out of gas and they were without heat for over a week before they were able to get enough money together to purchase more. They didn't tell anyone about this until after the fact; they hate burdening us, knowing that we each have situations of our own we are dealing with. They used a couple of space heaters.
I have watched his illness strip my grandparents of everything. They were supposed to be retired and traveling and enjoying life right now, in their 70s. Instead, they are scraping by and sitting in the ashes of the life they built, because of this disease.
I am asking for donations on their behalf, just to help with things for a bit. I chose a goal amount of $5,000 because that is roughly one months' mortgage payment and medical expenses for them both. I don't expect anything but I am hoping as hard as I can that someone is feeling charitable or generous when they read this. I'm hoping that all of their years of paying it forward will be rewarded by my doing this, and we can ease some of their stresses.
Anything you can spare will be greatly appreciated by them, by me, by my family, and by anyone else they've touched in their lives. If you can't give monetarily, I know that they would appreciate your prayers.
Thank you for reading, and please, share this on your Facebook and Twitter, whether you are able to donate or not.
María :)
Organizer
María Agramón
Organizer
Goldsboro, NC