Updated posted by Deborah Neal 4 months ago
Much has been happening in our...
Much has been happening in our lives and I would like to not only talk about recent events but I am going to tell you a little bit about my life (AS I REMEMBER IT) so that you can better understand why I am so adamant about helping my daughter and grandbabies up and out of this situation and on to a better start in life.
I recently got sick with a summer cold/flu which left me with bronchitis and laryngitis. My voice has finally just returned after about a month. Also, on 6-24-2013 Baby Mikey was treated at Westmoreland Hospital then transported by ambulance to Children’s Hospital with a fever of 104+. I was supposed to start a new job that week but somehow the date of the orientation was inadvertently mixed up amid all of the worry over the baby. Also, there has been some dissension among family members in our extended family. It goes without saying that there is no strong family network here or there would be no need for a site like this…The truth is that I have always given of myself and my resources to a fault...to friends and their children, and especially to family members although in our family,there is no approval, support, or encouragement. Unfortunately, for the most part, everyone just worries about themselves and carries on their own lives. I don’t know, maybe it’s just human nature. I know that many people who have never lived through or witnessed a homeless or domestic violence situation in their own lives have a hard time understanding how such a thing could exist or why anyone would remain involved in such a relationship. Unfortunately they also don’t know why anyone should care. Let me just say that I know a little something about it personally, because I have lived that life myself, when I was a very young teenage single mother...until I was in my mid-twenties.
I suffered threats at gunpoint, punches and kicks, I was chased with a baseball bat, had my car windshield smashed with a bat and my tires flattened. I was called names and humiliated in front of everyone we knew; and, I was screamed at and told that I was worthless (daily). I was ridiculed for my looks, used for sex, my home and my money (when I had any), and forced to abort my baby…just to give a few examples of what I went through in those years. I felt too embarrassed and ashamed to talk to anyone about what he was doing to me. I felt like many of my family members, as well as his, were fully aware of it and just watched me struggle and suffer for years through poverty and abuse before finding the strength to finally and completely get away from my abuser, after many attempts, including moving cross-country twice. I was left so emotionally scarred, that I never married for years and years, not even to Kaitlyn’s father, although we had planned to (before his Cancer diagnosis). About four years after Tony’s death, when I finally did find a man that appeared to be tender and soft spoken and wonderful with my small daughter, I quickly married him…too quickly. Immediately following the wedding, he became obsessed with me and abusive. He stalked me everywhere I went day and night (in my own vehicle)…to work, to the grocery store, to the bank, etc., etc. I couldn't have coffee with a (female) friend or take my kidz to the public pool, or anywhere else without threats and intimidation and him causing financial problems by quitting his job (about every other week). My life was turned upside down…again, and for a second time, with a second child, I lived in fear, with lack of sleep, in stress and conflict…and so did my child. Again I was left with no friends, forced to move, and was ruined financially by having my vehicle repossessed and finally by losing my job as a result of the abusive situation. I’m telling just a small bit about both of these situations but I’m telling about them for a reason. I'm hoping that by speaking out, it will give others the strength to do the same...and to help them to have the courage to get out of their situation. When I was very young, I never spoke up. I never went to the police or pressed charges. I didn't talk about it to anyone for many many years…not even to my children. I had no parental support or guidance. I've since read enough about DOMESTIC ABUSE to know that all of the things that I suffered through are very common, and so is the silence.
I DO NOT WANT THIS LIFE FOR MY DAUGHTER OR MY GRANDBABIES. I DON’T WANT THOSE BABY BOYS TO GROW UP WITNESSING THESE THINGS AND CARRYING ON THE CYCLE OF ABUSE THEMSELVES. I DON’T WANT TO SEE THEM GROW UP TO BE MANIPULATIVE,ANGRY AND CONFLICTED, SUICIDAL AND ABUSIVE. I HOPE FOR A BETTER AND HEALTHIER LIFE FOR THEM AND I WILL, UNTIL MY DYING BREATH, DO WHATEVER I CAN TO GIVE IT TO THEM.
**I have just a few more things to say. First, I want to clarify that these two babies are not my only grandchildren. I have five other grandchildren, and I love them all equally. I haven’t had much money lately and many issues (including medical), which have kept me from being able to give them "things" like other grandparents are able to do. I just hope with all my heart that they know that they are loved and that I would do anything in my power for them and I always will. Second, I would like to thank a few family members that HAVE been there for me in my life. First and foremost my Grandmother (Grams), God rest her soul. She was a beautiful person and one of few constants in my life. Second, I have a cousin that lived 3,000 miles away and yet she unwittingly became my savior, many years ago, in the midst of my abuse, even though it wasn't planned and I sort of just appeared on her doorstep one day (about thirty years ago). I will never be able to repay her kindness, nor that of her father, but I want them to know that I will never forget what they did for me and my child at that time. I love you both. And last but not least, I would like to thank my daughter Jenn for making the $400.00 off-line donation toward our cause (one of the few donations that we've received…and the largest by far). You know that I love you all and have always done everything within my power for all of you and all I ask for in return is respect. I feel that I have earned it in this life and it is important to me.
Created by Deborah Neal on May 19, 2013
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Please do whatever you can to help these people.. They are close personal friends of mine, and have been since childhood. Because of my financial situation, I can only donate a small amount, so I am hoping all of you who read this come together and raise enough money to give them a good start to a great life. As you read, they have a very rough situation, including health issues, domestic violence, transportation issues, and a risky pregnancy, among other things. They are good people, and they need and deserve all the help they can get. Please donate and spread the word.. Please help them out however you can. Even if you can't afford it, $5 or $10 here and there is helpful. They need $100 just to get sponsored on this website.. Every little bit helps and adds up.. I cannot think of anyone who deserves the help more than these kind and amazing people. Thank you, and I know if we all work together, we can help them immensely.
posted by Brittany Marie 6 months ago
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