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Mother's Love

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Trying to raise money for Helen to travel back to Nigeria to visit her daughter dying of AIDS.   Helen has been in this country caring for her daughter Chi Chi who has had 8 years of ongoing painful burn surgery.  Helen has not seen her family back in Nigeria for eight years.  The money is needed not only for the trip but to care for her daughter Chi Chi here while her Mother, her sole care giver, is away.

This is taken from Boston Globe article located at:

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/regionals/south/2013/11/17/for-nigerian-mother-milton-more-bad-news-than-any-parent-should-bear/YrTtYHfqoBEuCbnZJBAtfO/story.html


There’s a saying that the devoutly religious often lean on: God never gives you more than you can bear. But for Helen and Chinonye Omeje, who are devout Christians, the latest news from home seems more than they can bear.

But first, let’s back up. In July 2004, 14-year-old Chinonye, or Chi Chi, as she is called, was stirring stew over a fire in her village in Nigeria when she had an epileptic seizure and fell face-first into the pot, which overturned, causing grievous injuries. Her face was nearly melted off, her nose, lips, and ear gone, forehead and hair peeled away. Her chest was badly burned, and she lost most of the fingers on her right hand. She was blinded.


A Nigerian-American woman found Chi Chi in a rural clinic, where she had been for a year, swaddled in bandages. She arranged for Chi Chi and Helen to come to Boston for medical treatment.

That was eight years ago. There have been setbacks along the way, but finally Chi Chi’s face is slowly but surely being rebuilt, thanks to the magical hands, and largesse, of two of the top facial surgeons in the world. Dr. Julian Pribaz and Dr. Bohdan Pomahac of Brigham and Women’s Hospital led the team that did the first full face transplant.

That Chi Chi and Helen have been able to come to the United States, live in an apartment in Milton, get Chi Chi enrolled at the Perkins School for the Blind, obtain top medical care, not to mention food, clothing, and utilities, for years, without a cent to their name, comes from a constellation of kindness that I have never before witnessed.

Natives of a country rife with corruption and poverty, Helen and Chi Chi believe it is divine intervention, and maybe it is. Then there are all the humans involved: the nonprofits, the private citizens, the health care and social workers, the immigration lawyer, the church that took them in, and I’m sure I’m forgetting others on their “dream team.”

This week, I got a call from one of the dream teamers who told me that Helen had received yet more news that no mother should hear: A daughter back home has been infected with HIV.


All those years ago, when Helen left with Chi Chi for the clinic, she thought they would return home in good time. But it is now nine years since she last saw her husband and their seven other children. Her youngest was 12 when she left; he is now 21.

So much has happened. Children have grown up and gotten married. Six grandchildren have been born. Her husband, a schoolteacher who earned $500 a year when he was paid, was forced by the government to retire a couple of years ago. He is 68 and has recently had heart problems. One daughter’s husband died four years ago from malaria, leaving her with five young children.

Except, as Helen learned this week, he didn’t die of malaria after all. He died of AIDS, and he had passed along the virus to his unsuspecting wife.

“I can’t stop crying,” says Helen, 56, wiping away tears with her hand. “This is too much to bear. When you have your children grown and married and they have kids, you think they’re settled, and you thank God for that.”

Her daughter, Chidiebere — it means “God have mercy” in their native Igbo language — is her oldest child and, at 39, is the one who has kept an eye on the others since Helen has been gone. “She replaced me whenever my others had babies and I haven’t been there,” says Helen. “She’s been helping take care of her father.” She was also a teacher, earning $50 a month.

Her family at home kept the news from Helen because they didn’t want to add to her worries: over Chi Chi, over paying the rent, over getting back home. They initially told her that Chidiebere had malaria.

But last week, one of her sons began to cry when Helen asked about her, and the truth came tumbling out. Chidiebere’s oldest son is 17, and the youngest child, named Precious, was born six years ago; Helen and Chi Chi have never met her.

Chidiebere, the one who took care of the others, is now being cared for by her father and a sister who has moved in with them. Three of her children are with her; two others are with an aunt.

Helen desperately wants to see her daughter: “I pray God can keep her alive until we can go home.”

But no one knows when that will be. Finally, Chi Chi’s treatment is well underway, after lots of stalling. Three years ago, when Chi Chi turned 21, the Shriners Hospital for Children in Boston aged her out of its system, leaving much work to be done on her face.

At the Brigham and Women’s, there have been 21 procedures that have involved pumping fluid into her back and her head, and skin grafts. She has had a tracheostomy tube in her throat for two years now. Her next surgery is set for early December.

Their dream team is trying to figure out how to get Helen home for a short visit. But questions abound: Will her medical visa allow her to reenter this country, if she leaves? Who would look after Chi Chi while she is gone? Where would the air fare come from? As it is, rent is a constant concern.

Helen spoke to her daughter a few days ago. The clinic told Chidiebere that she had “just a bit of the virus” in her system, and only recently put her on a medication that has done little except give her headaches.

It is, as Helen has said, too much for a mother, and her daughter, to bear.

Donations to the Chinonye Omeje Victory Fund can be sent to Citizens Bank, 1575 Blue Hill Ave., Mattapan, MA 02126. Bella English lives in Milton.

Organizador

Tim Lynch
Organizador
Boston, MA

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