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911 Dispatchers Wish for Baby

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Update: 7/25/16 - Hello, all! It has been quite some time since we've updated the campaign, but after a lot of effort, thought, and most importantly, support from you, we have decided to end this campaign. We are in the process of issuing refunds to all of our fantastic supporters, so keep an eye out for those. It has been a while since you've donated and since we've used GoFundMe, so it is possible that some refunds will not process due to card changes, etc. If that occurs, we will find a way to get your money back to you.

This decision did not come easy to us and we want all of you to know how grateful we are for the love and support you have shown us. We truly are the luckiest couple on the planet to have all of you behind us, but it was time to either schedule more doctor appointments, or call it quits. And while this has been a fantastic journey, we have decided to bring this chapter to an end, and excitedly begin the next. We love you all from the bottom of our hearts and appreciate everything you have done for us.


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Mark and Kristen were good friends for five years during the time they worked together as 911 Dispatchers before they started dating three years ago.  They tied the knot in September 2012, and now they're ready to grow and share their love.  Kristen and Mark are wishing on a star for a squirmy, messy, unpredictable, screaming pile of cute made up of their DNA to complete their fairy tale love story.

Why do we need help?
Let's start with the biggest obstacles.  First, Kristen is 31 and Mark will be 45 in May.  WHAT?!  Yes, 45!  Mark would like to be able to run and play with their child before his arthritis really sets in, even if his face lies and says he's in his 30's.
Second, Kristen and Mark weren't lucky enough to find each other earlier in life.  They both knew they weren't with the right people or in the right place in their lives to have children, so Kristen chose not to have any of her own, and Mark made the difficult decision to have a vasectomy about nine years ago.  Even though it is reversible, the chance of the expensive procedure working is very slim because it was done so long ago.  Add that small possibility of success to Kristen's Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which causes irregular ovulation (if at all), and they've got barely any chance of getting pregnant on their own.

Why so much money?
Here's the breakdown for each attempt:
$3,300 - Sperm extraction
$5,300 - Egg retrieval and transfer
$900    - Anesthesia ($450 each)
$1,200 - Cycle monitoring
$3,000 - Medications
$800    - ICSI (sperm injection/fertilizing the egg)
$650    - Cryopreservation (freezing) of embryos
$1,400 - Future frozen embryo transfer
Grand total: $16,550

We added a little cushion just in case anything else happens or is needed along the way, including prenatal doctor visits and care.  The list and total above is representative of everything going perfectly on the first try.  If we had more time, we would be able to save our money for a few years, but Mark isn't getting any younger and we can't do it alone in less than a year.  Perhaps we should've started saving as soon as we got married, but having a baby wasn't something that we were sure about right away... but now we are, and we are asking you to play a very large part in our future as a family.

Whether we have a baby or our efforts prove futile, we will regularly donate to hopeful parents-to-be at the end of our journey and make sure every cent donated to us (and more!) is payed forward.  Caring about people is what we do, and we've heard some of the worst the world has to offer in our line of work; no one ever calls 911 because they're happy.  We want to bring others happiness and hope for a change, and help them achieve their goal of bringing a life into this world.  It's not often that we have to send out a call for help, but this is one of those times.  We've applied for loans and asked family for assistance, and we are most grateful for their support, but it just isn't enough.  You are our last resort.  You are our 911.
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Update 5/28/14
We recently received an email from someone expressing their disgust for our fundraiser because we seemingly do not have "legit reasons" for needing financial help, and that this is "our problem, and no one else's" since Mark elected to have a vasectomy.

Initially, we were upset and confused by the harsh email we received and questioned why someone would react so negatively to two people who spent such a long time in mediocrity to finally find true love born of friendship. We now see ourselves in the right circumstances to begin a family of our own, but can't afford the large, up-front sum to go through with it.

It occurred to me that perhaps we didn't disclose enough information and that our cause might translate to some that we're in need of money just because Mark made the decision to sterilize himself. I'm going to address those concerns now and hopefully dispel any ideas that we are seeking money solely because he consciously made the decision to have a procedure that would prevent pregnancy. This is not the case, and we sincerely apologize for any confusion and offense we may have caused anyone.

Before Mark and I began dating, he was involved in a 19-year long monogamous relationship and they both agreed at some point that children just weren't in the picture for them. After so many years, you never expect to have to start over, but both of us did and our circumstances have drastically changed for the better; we want nothing more than to see the love that we share to be expressed and embodied by a child who we created with the help, support, and love of so many people!

If the vasectomy was our only problem, we would be able to do this by ourselves, and we wouldn't be asking for help. No fundraiser is ever meant to place blame or to pressure anyone into donating. Our issues are not anyone else's problem (just like every other fundraiser) and we don't expect sympathy or help, but it is certainly appreciated. We're so blessed to have such amazing friends and family who have helped, and continue to help, and we thank you all so much!

Mark's situation is a small obstacle in the big picture. He could be as fertile as Bob Duggar (the father from '19 Kids and Counting' reality tv show) and it wouldn't make a lick of difference; we would still be childless. I know this for a fact because I was married for almost a decade to someone who fathered 4 children before him and I met. My ex-husband and I never tried to prevent pregnancy, but it just never happened, and I was ok with that because I was busy raising two of his amazing boys and couldn't see bringing another life into the mix. Those boys are now adults and very much my sons even though they weren't born of my body, but I'm still very excited to experience biological motherhood now that I've found my soulmate and the man I want to father my child.

About 2 years into my first marriage and about 9 years ago, I started having terrible abdominal pains just before my cycle would begin, so I went to the doctor. The doctor was immediately suspicious of Endometriosis (where the tissue found inside the uterus also grows outside the uterus, but has no place to shed like it normally would during a menstrual cycle, causing extreme pain) and scheduled exploratory laparoscopic surgery, which is standard. Luckily, they found no evidence of Endometriosis, but what they did find was far more complex.

I have an accessory ovary. Three ovaries. One on the left side, and two Siamese-twin ovaries on the right side, and they are all fully functional. That should make me Myrtle the Fertile Turtle, right?! Wrong. Hormones are tricky, and the extra ovary causes extra hormones, which worsens the symptoms of my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. PCOS is a condition in which I will produce multiple follicles (eggs) instead of just one (which is why I experience so much pain), but my ovaries won't release them without the presence of the right balance of hormones (thanks, 3rd ovary!), so I just reabsorb them instead of ovulating.

Mark and I have had several consultations with specialists to evaluate our situation, and all of them agree that even if he was intact and fertile, we would still have a very slim chance of getting pregnant on our own because of my rare condition (I think my nine years of marriage with no pregnancies backs up the doctors' theories). Our only option is IVF and the plan we already explained if we want to have any chance at all.

My 3rd ovary seems pretty "legit" to us, but it was our mistake to try to keep some things private and not disclose our stories in their entirety. We now see the necessity to do so. However, if you still don't deem our cause worthy enough, that's ok. You're entitled to your opinion just as we're entitled to refuse to allow any negativity and discouragement to affect us.

Organizer

Kristen Parisi
Organizer
St. Augustine, FL

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