A Healthier Me

I am asking for help because I don't know where else to turn.  I have survived so much in my life and tackled so many battles that I just cannot let this weight beat me any longer.   I have survived being widowed at the age of 25.  I have survived being homeless and a drug addict who finally conquered an IV meth addiction after almost 4 years.  I changed my life and started going to college and in just one short month I will have my bachelor's degree in accounting with honors! But behind all these victories there is one battle that has continued to defeat me no matter how hard I try.   When I was 9 years old my parents were divorced and my mother moved us away and during that time is when I can remember turning to food for comfort.  Food was the one thing that was there when I was feeling upset, and unstable.  Throughout my elementary and junior high years it was noticed by my teachers that I battled depression pretty badly and dealt with a lot of bullying.  Once high school came around those eating tendencies transferred into other outlets like partying and boys until I finally settled down and got married. I met my husband in 7th grade but never realized we would eventually be married and have three children.  During that marriage the weight just kept coming on.  With each baby, another 30 or 40 lbs.  Soon I was almost 300 lbs at only 5'4" and I was absolutely miserable.  After 7 years of marriage my husband and I separated due to many issues that stemmed around my insecurities.  After being separated for 8 months he died in a tragic accident.   The guilt of that consumed me and I turned to addiction.  In that addiction I went from almost 300 lbs to 155lbs in only 8 months.  Sadly, that is the only time in my entire life that I have actually been able to lose weight.  I have tried everything! And I mean everything! I got clean in September of 2006.  Of course with sobriety came the weight gain, and I was ok with that.  I wouldn't go back to living that life again no matter what.  So, in February of 2010 I went under the knife and I got the LapBand surgery.  In the first year I did really good.  I was unable to eat most foods, but I was so determined to lose the weight that I just dealt with it.  I lost almost 60 lbs the first year and then slowly it just stopped coming of, and then the pounds came creeping back on. I have tried fills and unfills and no matter which way I go I either can't eat at all, can't get full, or have reflux so severe that I am unable to even drink water.  HELP ME PLEASE!! After spending the last 4.5 years of my life living with a failed LapBand I am trying to raise money for a revision to a gastric sleeve. I just want to live a healthy life and be able to eat healthy foods again. The research I have done shows that 5 years out many LapBand patients are having removals due to the persistent vomiting and erosion or a slipped band. I did so much research before I ever got banded that I believed it was safe. The long term research just was not available. The band prevents me from eating almost all meats, vegetables, even most fruits which are full of sugar so thats ok. But I can eat potatoes, processed foods, pretty much ANYTHING unhealthy which after 4 years I've sort of given up and resorted to eating whatever will go down. I have tried to go through my insurance but being a student my coverage isn't great. They refuse to even remove my band but I feel like it's the only way I'll ever be able to continue with a healthy way of eating. I cook healthy meals for my family but unfortunately I am unable to eat them. Thank you for even considering helping my cause. I too will be saving money to put towards this change I so desire. So with all these issues I have been having with my LapBand I called the New U clinic in Idaho Falls Idaho  that I used to see for aftercare to inquire what my prices and options were for removal and they told me that they no longer have surgeons who see patients anymore!. So I contacted my original surgeon (Dr. Eric Baird) directly to ask him about my options and very promptly they told me he doesn't see LapBand patients anymore and he can't help me. Ugh!!! They want to refer me to Blackfoot who won't take me because I'm out of state. I cannot find any surgeon to see me because the procedure is not covered under my insurance.  I feel so helpless!  Some wonderful friends of mine have encouraged me to start a go fund me account which I have done.  But I understand there are so many other people out there with much bigger problems I feel selfish asking for people to donate to me.  Although, a few wonderful friends have.   Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope and pray that you might help me find a way