Momma's Stuff Needs to Come Home
Donation protected
My mother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1990 when I was just 10 years old and my younger sister was just 7. She was a single parent on a single income struggling to make ends meet with two kids who were hell on wheels.
Twenty-five years ago, no one knew anything about MS. All we knew was that they figured she'd been suffering for years until the medical community finally came up with a name for the diagnosis. Within 5 years, she was bed-ridden and wheelchair bound. So, not knowing or understanding much about this disease, our mother raised us to realize she could drop dead at any minute. While we were supposed to be having a carefree childhood, we were instead being taught how to drive before it was legal, balance a checkbook before we even had a job, and cook meals large enough to serve an army "just in case" Mom had a bad day and couldn't make dinner for us herself.
We learned what a "DNR" order was before high school and were told over and over (and over and over) what her final wishes were. We learned to not only speak up for ourselves, but for others we see being mistreated.
The three of us were very close. We were the only family we had. My sister and I had a tendency to fight a lot and our mother's phrase was, "Some day I'm going to be dead and gone. All you will have is each other and by God, you're going to learn to treat each other with respect." How little did we understand how true her words were. Then, in 2012, she met someone through the Internet and wanted to move clear across the state to marry him and eventually move in with him (she had been in nursing facilities for over 10 years). To say that hell broke loose was an understatement.
First, there was the concern this man was a con artist. (She had been duped by a few already and nearly got herself into a ton of hot water.) Secondly, we barely entrusted our mother's care to the facility she was in at the time. If she thought she was going to move away to the other end of the state where we would have absolutely no control or opportunities to pop in for a visit unnannounced, she was out of her mind. However, this man (who was her age), made several trips down to visit with her. I met with him once and spoke with him on the phone frequently and through Facebook chats. I eventually came to believe she wasn't being conned and I begrudgingly quit throwing fits and let her go.
I had never seen my mother happier in my entire life. We spoke on the phone nearly every day and it was clear that her new husband's devotion to her and her health made all the difference. My mother wasn't an easy person to get along with, but this man not only took her attitude on but that of her two kids as well. We, my sister and I, were eventually satisified enough that our mother would be perfectly fine.
Momma got sick February 21, 2014. It wasn't the first time. We figured it wouldn't be the last. She'd rallied many, many times before. My sister and I each requested time off work and raced to the northern part of Indiana as quickly as we could. This time was different and she passed peacefully in her sleep on March 6, 2014 surrounded by her husband, my sister, myself, and my husband.
Regretfully, my husband's work schedule did not allow us proper time to go through her belongings. To be honest about it, she passed away at 2:30a.m. By the time we left the hospital, it was nearly 5 a.m. We got about 3 hours of sleep, an hour to pack our own belongings and go through what we could of our mother's before we had to hit the road for the trip home.
Our mother's clothes, knick knacks, and years of paperwork remain in her husband's home over 7 hours away. He cannot bring himself to do anything with her clothing. My mother's been gone 16 months and her clothes still hang in her closet. My family has made plans several times to make the trip to get the rest of her stuff. Life has gotten in the way. Usually the biggest problem is the expense of fuel and a motel room for more than one night. My husband, sister, and I all work, but we barely make ends meet as it is.
A road trip of this proportion takes time and planning that I'm worried we don't have. My purpose for this fundraiser is to raise enough money to be able to drive to Churubusco, Indiana on August 9, get a motel room for 3 nights (double-bed because I'm taking an older half-sibling) and return home sometime on August 13. I not only need to bring my mother's stuff home, but to check on my step-father. His health is declining and he's in the hospital at least once a month now for a few days.
I'm not a person that asks for help very often, much less to go public with it. But I am afraid that if I don't get up there soon, I might miss an opportunity to give my step-dad one last hug and a kiss to thank him for everything he did for my mother the last 18 months of her life. I'm afraid that if he passes, his family won't know what belonged to my mother and everything will get tossed in the trash. (It's a legitimate fear, people, especially when you take into consideration his marriage to my mother was not his first.)
Any help that can be given would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Twenty-five years ago, no one knew anything about MS. All we knew was that they figured she'd been suffering for years until the medical community finally came up with a name for the diagnosis. Within 5 years, she was bed-ridden and wheelchair bound. So, not knowing or understanding much about this disease, our mother raised us to realize she could drop dead at any minute. While we were supposed to be having a carefree childhood, we were instead being taught how to drive before it was legal, balance a checkbook before we even had a job, and cook meals large enough to serve an army "just in case" Mom had a bad day and couldn't make dinner for us herself.
We learned what a "DNR" order was before high school and were told over and over (and over and over) what her final wishes were. We learned to not only speak up for ourselves, but for others we see being mistreated.
The three of us were very close. We were the only family we had. My sister and I had a tendency to fight a lot and our mother's phrase was, "Some day I'm going to be dead and gone. All you will have is each other and by God, you're going to learn to treat each other with respect." How little did we understand how true her words were. Then, in 2012, she met someone through the Internet and wanted to move clear across the state to marry him and eventually move in with him (she had been in nursing facilities for over 10 years). To say that hell broke loose was an understatement.
First, there was the concern this man was a con artist. (She had been duped by a few already and nearly got herself into a ton of hot water.) Secondly, we barely entrusted our mother's care to the facility she was in at the time. If she thought she was going to move away to the other end of the state where we would have absolutely no control or opportunities to pop in for a visit unnannounced, she was out of her mind. However, this man (who was her age), made several trips down to visit with her. I met with him once and spoke with him on the phone frequently and through Facebook chats. I eventually came to believe she wasn't being conned and I begrudgingly quit throwing fits and let her go.
I had never seen my mother happier in my entire life. We spoke on the phone nearly every day and it was clear that her new husband's devotion to her and her health made all the difference. My mother wasn't an easy person to get along with, but this man not only took her attitude on but that of her two kids as well. We, my sister and I, were eventually satisified enough that our mother would be perfectly fine.
Momma got sick February 21, 2014. It wasn't the first time. We figured it wouldn't be the last. She'd rallied many, many times before. My sister and I each requested time off work and raced to the northern part of Indiana as quickly as we could. This time was different and she passed peacefully in her sleep on March 6, 2014 surrounded by her husband, my sister, myself, and my husband.
Regretfully, my husband's work schedule did not allow us proper time to go through her belongings. To be honest about it, she passed away at 2:30a.m. By the time we left the hospital, it was nearly 5 a.m. We got about 3 hours of sleep, an hour to pack our own belongings and go through what we could of our mother's before we had to hit the road for the trip home.
Our mother's clothes, knick knacks, and years of paperwork remain in her husband's home over 7 hours away. He cannot bring himself to do anything with her clothing. My mother's been gone 16 months and her clothes still hang in her closet. My family has made plans several times to make the trip to get the rest of her stuff. Life has gotten in the way. Usually the biggest problem is the expense of fuel and a motel room for more than one night. My husband, sister, and I all work, but we barely make ends meet as it is.
A road trip of this proportion takes time and planning that I'm worried we don't have. My purpose for this fundraiser is to raise enough money to be able to drive to Churubusco, Indiana on August 9, get a motel room for 3 nights (double-bed because I'm taking an older half-sibling) and return home sometime on August 13. I not only need to bring my mother's stuff home, but to check on my step-father. His health is declining and he's in the hospital at least once a month now for a few days.
I'm not a person that asks for help very often, much less to go public with it. But I am afraid that if I don't get up there soon, I might miss an opportunity to give my step-dad one last hug and a kiss to thank him for everything he did for my mother the last 18 months of her life. I'm afraid that if he passes, his family won't know what belonged to my mother and everything will get tossed in the trash. (It's a legitimate fear, people, especially when you take into consideration his marriage to my mother was not his first.)
Any help that can be given would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Organizer
Jessica L. Williams
Organizer
Elberfeld, IN
