Updated posted by Mark Ian Resnick 1 day ago
Dear Supporters, I haven't been able to post a...
I haven't been able to post a message in a number of days because I have been running a fever and haven't been feeling at all well. Hopefully my cold and feeling of total exhaustion will dissipate, at least a little, as I will not have Chemo this week. There is a new Scheduler at the Clinic and somehow my early Friday appointment for March 14th was never booked.
I will see my Oncologist this Friday for blood work and a general check up, but I won't be hooked up to the Chemo pump at the Cleveland Clinic, or for the next three days, I usually receive the additional Chemo at home.
As I am still exhausted from all of my toxic Cancer treatments over the last three years, I hope that this short time out, won't allow my rouge Cancer cells to go wild.
In recent days, because of my ever deteriorating financial condition, to my dismay, I find myself worrying about how I will survive even another month. These are thankfully rare thoughts, because I need to keep myself mentally strong for Drew.
Coming undone will serve no purpose whatsoever. I simply try to remain positive and hope that either a sale on our website or another donation on this site will allow me to pay my ever mounting monthly bills.
Being so sick for so long, really changes everything and makes life terribly complicated.
My minds eye still thinks I can work and sell my handmade jewelry, artwork and inherited items through my website. ( PERHAPS ONE DAY SOON I WILL HAVE THE ENERGY TO MAKE MY WEBSITE SELF SUSTAINING. THAT'S MY PRAYER ANYWAY.) The reality is that even writing a plea like this on my Go Fund Me site, these days, physically wipes me out.
Just keeping myself going each day takes an enormous amount of energy. All of the toxic Chemotherapy and Radiation over the last three years have taken their toll. Just being able to do the wash or prepare a simple meal, actually seems to me like I am climbing Mt. Everest.
My biggest problem is my lack of energy to work on our website. I did have a sale on our website this past week from a dear friend. Each dollar is already accounted for but I am extremely thankful for her purchase.
What I really need to stay afloat and stop my rapid financial decline are many more purchases from our website: www.fascinatingeffects.com
Be it sale from our website, or donations, however small, to this GoFundMe website, I desperately need income to keep afloat.
Becoming destitute as a possible future, on top of my Orthopedic illnesses and Cancer, almost seems unfathomable to me. However tough I've been since my first accident when I was 29, surviving into the future without any sufficient financial resources, will be the final and ultimate humiliation.
The best luck anybody can have is good health, if you have that, you truly have the world and are blessed.
I need to make money whatever way possible just to pay this months bills and my ever looming 2013 real estate taxes. As you all know by now, my Cancer care and lifetime of ever mounting medical bills has totally decimated my life savings. Without sufficient income, or energy to make that income, I simply fall deeper into debt each month.
This site has allowed me to keep receiving my treatments and to cover the costly co-pays for the medications I need for my Cancer care. Unexpected events like auto repairs, dental problems, or repairs to our A/C system, keep popping up and without resources I've had to accrue even more debt. The alternative is to simply do without some of the basics and we've also done that. I do live very modestly but without the energy to research, photograph, list and market our website, earning enough money to keep afloat has become nearly impossible.
I spend a great part of each day too sick to function. When I do have a little energy it's often put to use either answering e-mails or perhaps cooking. If I knew another solution to my current terribly embarrassing insolvency, I would certainly pursue it.
Asking for help from anybody is something I never thought I would have to do. The sad fact is that without my strength and health I am simply unable to support myself.
No doubt part of Drew's anxiety is my getting sicker and sicker and he is terrified of how he will survive if I cannot continue even at my current sloth like pace.
Drew also feels terrible that he cannot help me financially so it's a no win situation for him and something of a psychological conundrum as well.
Cancer is a terrible disease but I have survived for three years now only because of terribly expensive and debilitating drugs. If I didn't take things one day at a time I doubt I could forge ahead or for that matter would even still be alive.
I have to believe that one day soon another more efficient therapy for my Cancer will be released.
I've got tenacity and determination and I am doing the best I know how to survive.
Your help is the only thing that's allowed me to make it thus far. I am hoping that you might be kind enough to share my site with any of your friends, family or co-workers. Perhaps some of these people might already know about the financial problems that people with serious or terminal illnesses face in this country.
Again, anybody who can contribute even a small amount please do so. No contribution is too small and I can assure you every dime will be used to keep me and now Drew afloat.
I've asked every Cancer organization for assistance but they don't have the resources these days because their donations have dried up.
Thanks in advance for anything you can do to help.
I also want to thank everybody who's helped me to date. Without your contributions I would not be able to sit at this computer writing this ongoing plea.
Bless you all,
Updated posted by Mark Ian Resnick 6 days ago
Dear Supporters, Thank you for your donations. My...
Thank you for your donations. My bills are slowly being paid, but I am terrified about my real estate tax bill due by March 31, 2014. I am hoping for either many small donations on this site, or sales on my www.fascinatingeffects.com website. I still have hundreds of other items to list, but I have simply been too sick to photograph, research, and properly list them.
As I've explained, all of my life savings have been depleted trying to stay alive and unfortunately the day to day bills have only gotten larger. I feel like a burden to my friends and family but I am not yet ready to give up this fight. I thank you all in advance for anything you can spare to help me keep fighting.
FYI - Drew is home and hopefully once he see's his Psychiatrist on Wednesday morning she will be able to determine what anti anxiety and anti depressant medications he should be taking. For the moment he's taking the drugs they prescribed at the hospital he was taken to after his functional breakdown on February 14th. He was released to my care this past Thursday late in the day. I only wish I were feeling better so I could help him more.
I did see my Oncologist on Friday at the Cleveland Clinic and we are holding off on my Chemo for a week so I can get Drew stabilized.
Unfortunately by Saturday morning both Drew and I had contracted either a virus, or some other bug. This means I've been down for the count with a fever, sore throat and other traditional cold symptoms ever since. Given my total lack of an immune system it's not difficult for me to catch a cold. The good news is that I do finally feel slightly better this evening. The other good news is that it was a lucky break that I wasn't receiving my regular chemo when I caught this cold. The chemo simply would have made me even sicker than I already am.
Thank you again for all the help you have given me to date. I hate to ask for this help, but as I've explained I am simply too sick to do anything else.
Please note, that even small donations will help and I wouldn't ask for help if I didn't desperately need it. I won't mention the full amount of my debt, but 99% of the debt was incurred paying for my cancer treatments or for my health insurance over the previous three and a half decades. It's scary what drugs and healthcare can cost. I was also very unrealistic about my ability to keep working which would have allowed me to continue to generate enough income to keep me afloat.
Bless you all.
Updated posted by Mark Ian Resnick 10 days ago
Dear supporters, Thank you for your help today...
Thank you for your help today. Raising money this way is humbling for me, but given my health and situation it's the only way I know how to pay my ever mounting bills.
Drew was released from the hospital today though his social worker only called me this morning. Originally they were going to release Drew without any of the meds he's been taking during the two weeks he's been hospitalized.
He was hospitalized in the first place because he ran out and did not want to bother me with the problem. He feels he's been a burden to me but nothing could be further from the truth.
I explained to his case worker that I would not take him out unless they gave him a weeks supply of the new medications. The problem is that he won't be able to see his Psychiatrist at the VA hospital until next Wednesday so if he went through another bout of withdrawal from his anti depressants he might wind up back in the hospital.
None of the logic made any sense to me, but the medical system in this country especially anything to do with mental illness is still in the dark ages. It's certainly improved from what it once was but it has a long way to go. I was feeling very ill while doing all of this today but I had to raise to meet the challenge and thankfully I did.
I finally got Drew home with a weeks worth of meds at about 6PM. He is very sorry about everything especially about what his depression does to me. I have explained again that he is not a burden unless he's a danger to himself. Clearly I hope his appointment at the VA was sooner than next Wednesday but at least he now has medications to get him through the week.
I have an appointment early today at the Cleveland Clinic with my Oncologist so I'll make this update brief. All 0f the donations to date have allowed me to keep going. I've been feeling sicker and sicker, but I have to keep fighting or I would loose the will to beat this Cancer.
Any donation, even a small one, will help me pay some of the massive debt I've incurred to date paying for the treatment of this disease. Perhaps I shouldn't have spent my life savings on the medications and health insurance. The conundrum is that if I hadn't, I would not still be alive.
A dear old friend sent me new information about various services offered by the American Cancer Society. I will certainly call them about some of the services, but the sad fact still remains that I've wiped out my life savings and the bills including, enormous mounting debt, real estate taxes and co-pays for this months medications must be paid.
If I don't pay these ongoing bills, it's either a choice of loosing my apartment, not taking various medications, or not having transportation in FL. None are good options, so I will continue to appeal for help from my friends, family, and friends of friends. The donations to date have allowed me to survive this long. I am humbled and my head is bowed. Unless you are sick you cannot imagine how difficult doing anything can be. Just making a phone call or even writing this post take up most of my energy. The Chemo treatments wreck havoc on ones body and doing anything meaningful, seems akin to climbing Mt Everest.
Bless You All.
Created by Mark Ian Resnick on October 28, 2013
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