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My Life of Trauma: I was drowned by
a life guard when I was 12 years old. My father was violent and
abusive; he told me I deserved to be drowned. I was molested four times
by women before I was ten years old. Now, I barely have food, am
virtually in my apartment 24 hours a day, I have one pair of jeans, a
broken pair of reading glasses that are cutting the side of my nose, I
am far behind in bills, I scratch myself until I bleed with anxiety.
The following is my
account of a blessed event; what some may call a, 'near death
experience', it is published by author PMH Atwater, in her book titled,
'Near Death Experiences; The Rest of The Story'; available on
I was 12 years old and I was being Murdered;
physically drowned by a life guard. (Monticello Motor Lodge, Bellmawr,
N.J.//now it is a Howard Johnsons, and the pool has since been filled
in; but, not because of me, or this event). I lived nearby; my friend
and myself were pool hopping on a hot summer day; I hadn’t yet learned
how to swim, so, I just waded in the shallow end of the pool. The life
guard knew my oldest brother and did not like him. The life guard, and
his friend, began chasing me and my friend in and around the pool. I
got trapped in the middle of the pool with the life guard. He (the
'life guard') physically put his hands around my throat and in the
middle of the pool, he drowned me; choking life from my body. I flailed
wildly, being held under by the life guard. He was 21; I was 12.
was amazed that no one helped. There were motel guests all around the
pool, and some were even in the pool. They must have thought my screams,
gasps for, 'help!', were just kids playing; however, they did nothing.
WAS evil in the life guards' eyes; a redness. It didn't take long
before my throat opened up and water rushed into my lungs. I was
fighting for my young life. Then, just as quickly, I was immobile;
unable to move. At the bottom of the pool with a water-filled body, I
wondered what would happen next. I never passed out or lost
consciousness. My eyes were open and I was on my stomach, facing
forward. My friend dived in to the bottom and faced me, "GET UP!!", He
screamed under water and I heard him. But, I could do nothing; a water
filled body is immobilized, unable to move at all; which, was fine by
me; I was out of pain.
I screamed inside me, "DON'T TOUCH
ME!!". But, all my friend heard was nothing and all he saw was a
nonmoving object. He left the pool to get help. "Where ya goin?!!" I
screamed to no avail. I accepted that I was going to die. I remember
thinking that children die every day; I was just one of them. I
wondered when my heart would stop. It was peaceful down there. I was
already out of pain. (yay!) I sensed beings starting to gather around
me. These were good spirits. Angels. I saw them. They were under
water but not wet. Everything slowed down by the split second. I saw
my life flash before my eyes like a deck of cards. I thought these
scenes were all going to be important and yet, I saw mundane events
too. I saw birthdays and Christmases, and I watched myself wasting time
in front of the television.
I felt my 'self' being pulled out of my body.
I did not like the separation.
However, It Is An Amazing, NATURAL Process.
was then 30 or more feet above the pool watching people dive in to save
me. I remember thinking that I was afraid of heights, but, not now,
for some reason. I was not afraid or scared of anything at this moment.
I remember being worried about my family; when the Angels lifting me
stated calmly and confidently, "They'll be okay". And, I KNEW They Were
I had Seven Angels lifting me up. I knew one of them to
be my mother's father, whom I had never known and who passed away when I
was a toddler. Looking around, I saw Angels lifting other souls up. I
saw House-sized Orbs of God's Pure Love, with the outlined shapes of
human souls making up its huge round figure.
I looked down to
see a brown and dark moving earth. I saw souls. I gained the knowledge
that everything you can see, hear, taste, feel, or touch is made up of a
soul. God's green earth, every part, is a soul. GOD is with us;
You can reincarnate into a blade of grass on the side
of a mountain, or, you can be an alien from outer space (yes, they
exist). I saw, above the heavens, other dimensions of higher and
alternate learning. We are here to fulfill God's Great Plan. WE have
the Gift of Life.
Arriving at a gathering of clouds, a
landing, as it were, I saw four more Angels. On this level were white,
vine covered Romanesque Pillars on either side of the four Angels with a
connecting archway in back. The Angels had white robes on, as I did. I
did not see wings. Everything here was bright white; beyond was
These Angels, and myself, communicated through
thought, not by mouth. Although, the Angels mouths did not move, their
arms did. From the moment I was lifted from my body, knowledge was
gained instantly. Three of the four Angels stepped in back to discuss
how to get me back down to my body. The fourth Angel, a nice, smiling
elderly gent, kept me company. In back where the three other Angels
were, beyond the vine covered archway I saw a Gold Fence; spiked at the
top. Heaven. Curious as a cat I had to investigate and sure enough, to
the left of where these Angels stood, was in fact, The Pearly Gates.
Finding myself on the Path to the Pearly Gates; I realized that I was
not walking but floating; being lifted by Gods' Love, not Angels. I
remember thinking, "How do I get into heaven?" I meant physically; do I
kneel? I thought I would kneel but instead, as naturally as can be, I
was prostrating myself across the Threshold of Heaven. I lay there and I
opened my eyes to see a pair of sandaled feet; and, I knew to whom they
My personal saviour Jesus Christ lifted me
by the scruff of my neck. I remember thinking, "Will it hurt?"
(lol..NO!). HE looked directly in my eyes, "Welcome, My Son. I Love
You". HE Smiled and I Felt LOVED, Immensely; Forgiven, Lucky. Yes, It
Was An AWE Inspired Love; Encompassing Everything Wonderfully. God
I wandered into Heaven; GRACED. I was even more
fortunate that I got to walk side by side with Jesus in Heaven on a gold
sidewalk. I played drums in heaven; a white drum set with gold
hardware. All music you have ever heard, or ever will, is being played
by Angels in heaven. WE are Perfect in Heaven; I wear glasses here on
Earth, but was not wearing any in Heaven.
There are no such things as coincidences.
there it was; Our Fathers' House. A Gold Temple. I walked down the
gold path and made a left into the Temple. To my immediate left was a
huge chair made of white stone. At 12 years old, my head only came up
to HIS Knees. God is TALL. HE patted me on the head and I took a walk
around the Temple. I looked around inside the Temple and on the walls
were hung pictures of religious figures; from Buddha to Mohammed,
Various Popes and, Jesus, of course. I don't how I exited Heaven,
however, I found myself back in front of the four Angels, telling them,
"I don't want to go back down there. It's painful," I yelled. "You
must! Your mission is not yet complete!" the Angels shouted back.
was given to me that the Angels appeared to me at the age in which they
passed away. Three of the Angels stood in back while the fourth Angel
kept me company. He listened to my thoughts with bemusement; I was
cursing; I was 12 years old and had just been drowned. It was given
that this Angel who kept me company had not been to earth in a while. He
had a nice, kind gentle face. The other Three Angels in back, pondered
my fate; how to get me back down to my body, "We Need To Seek
Permission!" I heard them say. All of a Sudden, the clouds above them
The Angels and myself all
cowered. Immediately, I Was Sorrowful, Ashamed; I Had Taken Gods' Gift
of Life For Granted; I Was Not Grateful That I HAD a Life. NOW, Here I
Was, Shaming Myself Before GOD. I had not cherished the God-given Gift
of Life. Seeing the clouds light up, I cried out, "Don't show me!
Don't show me! I want to go back". But I was too late. By my seven
Angels, I was lifted over to the right of the four Angels. I saw a pure
white pillar; on top of it was a book, about three feet thick. It was,
IS my Book of Life.
The pages flew open, and just like
watching myself on television, I saw scenes from what was to be, scenes
from my future life. I saw things that were Yet To Be, and, NOW ARE.
Things and events that were completely out of my control, and or
manipulation, have since come true; the prophecies.
I was flying back down to my body; and in it I was. I opened my eyes
and there I was, on the bottom of the pool with a water filled body
watching one of my friends and an unknown adult trying to save me,
trying to lift my heavy water-laden body. Within minutes, I was
breathing our air again, and alive in Earth terms.
NOW, I wake
up happy knowing what is waiting for me on the other side; Jesus' Love,
Gods' Love. I try to be a better person every day; however, I AM still
very human...lol. I don't know what my mission is, but I am here for
God's sake to fulfill His wishes, peacefully and lovingly.
coughing up pinkish blood, and recovering on the side of the pool, I
began recounting to my friend what I had seen and what was to be. He,
like a lot of others, looked at me without knowing what to say. I don't
hate the life guard who drowned me. I can't waste time hating. In
fact, I feel more loved by Jesus for having had this experience. Many
folks consider this my worst day; I feel it is my best day...ever.
was raised Catholic, but now consider myself a Christian. I don't read
the Bible nor attend Church. However, I am the most believing of
I Have Met Jesus Christ and HE Lifted Me.
These are the Words of The Lord,
"Welcome, My Son. I Love You".
The next time you say, "Why me?"- Try thinking, "Why NOT Me?!"
Are you more special than Jesus? Look what HE went through.
up and be grateful that you Have A Life. Going with the argument that
we can indeed be reincarnated into anything - what would you rather be
-- a human BEING (thinking, feeling, laughing, loving, hurting), or,
would you rather be a rock?
Music is Made in Heaven
- every second of music you have ever heard and or played, and ever will, is being Played by Angels in Heaven, at that exact moment, by Angels:)
EVERYTHING GOOD COMES FROM HEAVEN.
EVERYTHING is Made of Soul...Spirit.
You can be Reincarnated into - anything.
You can go to Heaven.
You can go to hell.
You can go to other dimensions, some of higher learning.
Life, is Written, long before you were born.
There is no such thing as Coincidence.
Be Grateful That You Have A Life;
No matter the event, LIFE is a Blessing, a GIFT.
We Will All Be Okay.
GOD LOVES YOU.
If God Told Me that in order for me to have life,
I would have to be drowned every day, and live,
I would gratefully accept that mission.
Good, Great, Bad and Horrific events, are ALL Gifts from God.
am not mad or angry at the lifeguard who drowned me; I cannot waste
time hating; that would be a shameful act against The Great Gift of Life
That GOD Has Given Back To Me. I have been given a second chance. I am
grateful to be here, everyday, even with the very little I have.
I do not go to church nor read nor preach the bible.
I DO NOT 'BELIEVE'; I KNOW - There IS A Difference.
I saved the life of a little girl once.
Maybe That was my mission.
Or, maybe cherishing my entire life is the mission.
Maybe I will never know my mission; and, I don't care; I Have LIFE!!!
GOD BLESS YOU.
Jesus Loves You.
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