after writing that long-winded update I realized I forgot to mention that I am in Belize right now. a multicultural paradise. and without a doubt this is an opportunity of a lifetime working one on one with this shaman/healer of direct lineage to many before.... its an honor to work with her.
Friends and family-
I owe everyone an update of where I am and the direction i'm moving in.
since my initially setting up of this website, I've taken various turns unpredictable always but maybe more in line actually with finding the true direction.
2 trips and temporary stays in saint Louis to work with a very competent doctor who works outside of the box. 2 serious rounds of anti-parasite drug therapies... and the removal of an impacted wisdom tooth he uncovered that needed to come out ASAP.
though still with major issues unnadressed and honestly in pretty desperate move my mom took me yet on another mission for answers... to an international hospital in Tijuana. where fortunately it is a lot more affordable to get testing done. actually had a spinal tap done which I hope and feel will be my farewell to invasive procedures.
yet another set of tests coming back negative.
at this point I was completely open to anything positive and big,,, and anything that would offer true hope. all the work I've done with all the doctors has been successful, I see no failure in any of it. but my nervous system was degenerating. so very scary but its easier for me to now be very honest with that fact and where it would've taken me.
i needed from the depth of my being something real and wholesome and good. a good friend connected me with an indigenous mayan shaman who works in a capacity unique to each person she cures... and now in a radical move and with the massive help of my parents getting me down here and set up,,, i find myself living in a little appartment in a frontier town at the edge of the mayan heartland. to be solo, on my own, and making this work within a refreshed and renewed ability to hope and know faith answered, is all in itself very healing.
i work with this woman daily,,, as she gives me the herbs picked right from those places they grow in the jungle here,,, herbs that are natural and very potent medicine for the things my body has been struggling to overcome. the bio-diversity of the jungles and plant species is amazing here. this is where my medicine now comes from, combined with wisdom and direction of a master healer.
this was a radical move on my part but the way in which it manifested is unquestioned to me that this is the way for me to follow back to strength, health and all the good things i cant even yet imagine that will come next, with some time...
your donations and support has been such a boost of confidence to my process,,, to all who donate i thank you a million times... i'm climbing out of the rubble of what feels like a war zone(health issues) from years, anyone that can continue with anything, donations, i cant express how much it would help at this time...
i'm coming back to the world, and you will see an entirely new individual when we reconnect...
many many thanks
here is a short essay I just wrote I felt like sharing here...
Releasing the healing power within
I believe that the healing power is within. I believe that the healing power is without. I believe the healing power is accessed when all barricades of duality based thought and limiting beliefs are transcended. the fearless desire to open ourselves to painful and fearful memories coiled behind our resistance to change and to release them expands awareness beyond ourselves to the powerful and positive support that is always available. The illuminating power of awareness creates healing within. It melts the unmoving glacier inside and starts a trickle of possibility. Then growing with the pure and true warmth of sunlight the way towards real change and healing appears. Stubborn resistance and personal prejudice break apart and fall away in this presence and we are left standing exactly where we are, honestly able to see ourselves and each other, together on this earth, grounded in our most basic human truths.
The healing power is within.
To break out of the restrictive mold and liberate from the pervasive and overwhelming influences of society is a difficult and arduous journey. Its to experience death and anguish of the ego. It is a road that does not just appear. True transformation is not encouraged or supported by our culture.
To realize our truth and to tap into our own true nature.
What other choice of paths do we have that can lead to such a triumphant light, that can penetrate our deepest fears and fulfill us at mythological proportions? The courage neccessary to blaze this path is the molten fire that forges us into the new. To realize our own truth is to tap into the healing power within. It is to access our poetic souls and raw creative force. It is to own our sacred and divine connection. A golden thread we can pick up to re-write our stories with. This is our true power shining within like a flame. Its flickering and movement pierces others. Its inner life releases a healing river of inspiration that follows and builds its own course. A river that overflows its banks and like a rising tide unleashes the powerful ability to awaken others.
Refreshed and renewed by this bountiful source of life within life, and with new eyes we can appreciate and respect the awesome and diverse natures of others. The myriad and colorful ways of expressing through our meaningful and personal contributions to life. A species gifted and bursting with exponential possibilities of uniqueness. Applying our personal signatures to a celebration of life that honors our connection and authenticity. United in a passion and conviction of truth and purpose. Gathered together in this combined capacity we are able to move mountains.
We are here for purpose. That I feel clear about. Struggles and hardships that strengthen bonds between us are what make us resilient people. I believe in the healing power within as much as I believe in the healing power of community. And I feel there is something so crucial that ties these two together. What we achieve together is what gives true meaning to our individual efforts. It gives immeasurable value to each struggle.
written by Gabe Severson
here to give my thanks for all of you pioneering the support of my cause. what a powerful good feeling to see good friends and people I don't know showing up for me.
the treatment i'm on is a strong one,,, but fortunately I am withstanding it. too soon to say any more on that but i'm doing my best to focus on the positive things of life while in the middle of it and definitely channeling my focus towards my art.
I am determined to get thru this... your help is invaluable in that aim. all donations count,,, even 5$... it all adds up and builds momentum. please consider sharing this link with family and friends. I need your help on this... the greater the network the greater my forward movement to health, happiness,and a thriving life full of bountiful good things...
Thank you family and friends and to everyone reading this page.
For those that dont know me...
For 10 years now i have been fighting to regain my health. It has been a very difficult time. 4 years ago i was finally diagnosed with nuerological lyme disease. Ever since, in truth, its been non-stop crisis. Still there is something inside of me that will not give up.
May of last year, with the massive support of family and friends we held a very successful fundraiser. The powerful support i felt and received from the community coming together raised me up on many levels and refreshed the promise of wellness, health and living life again. Looking back at that time i feel sadness and loss that shortly after i became violently ill from eating undercooked fish. Immediately my world was flipped upside down again. It was the combo of a crashed immune system and very aggressive parasites. I knew nothing of how destructive and life altering a bad case of parasites could be.
innitially i tried to maintain confidence that i could turn it around with anti-parasitic herbs, but so quickly realized i was playing a dangerous game. I needed help and pharmaceutical drugs for this. I landed in the ER multiple times with severe nuerological manifestations, gastrointestinal issues and utter weakness.
the ER trips didnt yield any conclusive results, while i was witnessing this thing progress in terrifying ways. thru research and connecting with other people that had gone thru similar things i started to learn that parasites and the realm of tropical medicine is a science that is very little understood in the US.
So many blood tests, numerous practitioners and doctors and an infectious disease doctor were all exhausted here locally during the desperate search for answers. All the while (months) this infection has progressed forward unchecked.
At last i am working with a Doctor I found who has extensive experience in treating parasites. He is one of a handful in the US. With renewed committment to see this thru, my mom has accompanied me on trips to saint louis missouri, where he is located. I am now embarking on the next stage of a comprehensive treatment with this doctor and his clinic to reverse a situation that became advanced. Healing needs to happen on all levels. the combination of supportive therapies like IV nutrition and vitamins to restore my body, nuerofeedback to heal damage caused to the brain, and working one-on-one with a professional to address PTSD and spiritual health insure the most success as a plan of approach.
Nonetheless the treatment itself can be trecherous. My system often reacts violently to pharmaceutical drugs. These ones are powerful and toxic, with multiple drugs needed, and are ridiculously and almost out of reach expensive yet simultaneously so very neccessary.
This parasite infestation is manifesting in horrifying ways daily. My brain is so impacted that some nights my brain is paralyzed for hours, I become catatonic, and experience amnesia, unable to move or take care of basic self-care.
I am determined to fight this.Its the choice I make each day.The generous financial gifts and support from last year's fundraiser have carried me this far and will continue to a little further. I am investing my hope into creating this new fundraising movement. I'm moving forward with faith that all will fall into place;I owe it to myself and my family ,after years of this struggle,to keep believing I can overcome.
This journey has exhausted us far beyond what we were prepared for. The toll it has taken financially,and how it continues to,is overwhelming. My parents had to file for bankruptcy last year over this financial hardship. I am fortunate to have my basic needs met by disability checks each month.But now because of circumstances, I am facing a mountain of medical bills (extensive diagnostic testing, treatment therapies,etc.). In addition, the cost of airfare and everything else that goes along with travelling to see a specialist in St Louis makes this feel insurmountable at times.
I am humbly asking for your help in whatever way you can. I need to raise a healthy sum of money to make this happen. I'm deeply grateful to all those that helped last year. It gave healing and meaning to this whole proccess.
I know i'm here to fullfill a greater purpose. realizing that truth for me is dependant on successfully reversing this. It is my greatest wish to give back with renewed creativity,as healing happens and let its transformative power flow back into my life, the community and surroundings and wherever its else its meant to positively impact and inspire.
thank you for directly helping to refuel this passion for life with your contributions. All donations will directly support this treatment. All money raised above the amount needed for immediate treatment will go towards medical debt.
thank you for helping to make this possible.