I started writing a very detailed update post a week ago that described my feelings in depth and a play by play of our appointments last week. I wasn't able to finish and as the days went on it got harder and harder for me to return to it because I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I wanted to detach myself from the situation and move forward but I felt I needed to give closure to everyone following our journey. I really wanted to come here and share great news with all of you after our first ultrasound but instead I have to tell you that no heartbeat was found that day. We made it to eight weeks this time but unfortunately the baby stopped growing at some point. The doc doesn't think it was anything more than a chromosomal issue with the embryo which is very common in any pregnancy and not just IVF. Had we paid to have the embryo chromosomes tested beforehand, we would have known not to transfer that particular one but of course it costs a couple thousand extra. Although our hearts are broken, we are looking forward to healing and moving forward. I'm not sure when we will have the money to try again but for now we will continue to enjoy each other and everything we are continually blessed with. Thank you for the thoughts, prayers, donations, kind words and support. This isn't the end of our journey but rather just a speed bump along the way.
So we completed our transfer of one single embryo on Friday and with Maka being off his feet...my lovely sis was able to experience it with me. All went well and as uncomfortable as I remember from last time. The full bladder part is the worst. Think...your bladder is beyond full and someone is pushing on your stomach for at least 30 minutes then having to wait still to let the little snow baby settle in. Ugh..but worth it for sure!!
I am now six days past a five day transfer which translates to 6dp5dt in IVF terms. "Five day" means the embryo was five days old before frozen. The technical name is blastocyst. I don't have any pregnancy symptoms as I shouldn't because it is way too early. I am more tired than usual and quite a bit more emotional but I'm blaming it on the progesterone shots which really mess with your hormones. Speaking of these daily shots...they are really killing my lower back/upper bum. I have bruises and welts that hurt like heck. Thankfully, we purchased a heating pad which has been helping the last two nights.
We should know by next week if we have a little one growing inside me. I'm asking for everyone's thoughts and prayers that we will have our miracle. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas spent with all your family and friends!!
First off, I apologize that it has been awhile since my last update but so much has happened and I'm only now starting to catch my breath.
We have started the intramuscular shots. These are straight hormones that need to be injected as a mixture of oil. The needles are ugly and painful but we are getting through it.
Maka has hurt himself..bad. While playing in a softball tournament, he tore his left meniscus and ACL. Although painful, he was able to limp through work for two weeks. This past Wednesday was the actual reconstructive surgery. He is now in excruciating pain so I've been playing nurse for the past week. I'm hoping he is able to heal quickly as I will need him these next few weeks.
Last week Thursday was my Intralipid Infusion which I sometimes like to call my "milk" therapy. I have raised natural killer cells in my body that could potentially kick out any wonderful embryos so this "milk" helps to protect the snow baby upon transfer. It is a very expensive and time consuming process but doesn't hurt a bit.
Friday is my scheduled frozen embryo transfer. I am very nervous and scared for all the uncertainty but I have to stay positive and hope for the best. I will post an update after the transfer..while I'm lounging around on bed rest.
I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season!
Although oral medication started last Tuesday, the official start of the cycle and injections started yesterday. Some may cringe at the thought of giving yourself a shot in the stomach each morning but it really isn't bad at all. The title of the medication is Lupron and it is used to suppress the pituitary to prevent ovulation. We use the same needle as anyone familiar with insulin injections. It is very tiny and does not hurt at all. We've also added another oral medication which we will continue for the next few months and I have an appointment today for a fluid ultrasound.
I want to thank you all again for helping us to achieve and exceed our initial goal. The doctor's fee has been paid in full! Thank heavens. I decided to increase the goal by $1k to help cover some of the medication costs. The total cost of our medications thus far is approximately $1300. Medical insurance groups in Nevada are not mandated to cover any doctor fees, blood tests, other testing, medication, etc. Everything must be paid out of pocket.
Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. We have so much to be thankful for this year and every year!
Yesterday was our first day back at the SIRM(Sher Institutes for Reproductive Medicine) office. It was definitely somewhere we had never thought we would be again this year but nonetheless, we pushed through our emotions and walked through those double doors. We felt excited to be getting the process started and at the same time pretty scared and nervous for all the unknowns of IVF. Linda has been our clinical coordinator since the very beginning and offers a whole heap of knowledge on everything IVF. We were given our monthly chart, medication instruction and consent forms. During this time, I will be on several medications including pills and injections, have several blood tests and ultrasounds to keep us on track.
Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers!! This journey has become a lot less "scary" knowing we have our family and friends supporting us. Also, please unsubscribe from updates if you do not want to receive these emails. I understand that some of you would rather check the website on your own rather than receiving automatic emails.
I started to crochet beanies and scarves as a way to fundraise for our upcoming IVF cycle. After doing a few I realized it took way too much time to finish one and I wasn't going to be able to raise much money with a few completed items. Upon searching the internet for other fundraising ideas, I came upon another couple's IVF gofundme. Their page had been live for a week and had already raised a ton of money. I figured I would give it a shot and see what happens. That afternoon I had created our very own page, gofundme.com/babyvickers. Thanks to all of our family and friends...we have reached our goal today...right on schedule!! We will be meeting with the SIRM office manager this week to pay and hoping to begin medicines by the weekend. Thank you all again for your love, support and kind words. Stay posted for the next update after meeting with our cycle coordinator!!
Many of you may not know that we have actually been struggling with fertility for quite some time now. We have tried several doctors, many medicines and finally after many years decided we needed to try the most promising yet most expensive treatment, In-vitro fertilization. We had never thought we would have the courage to write about our struggles and share our fertility story publicly but we now realize that IVF isn't something to be ashamed of. Thanks to medical advancement, IVF has given us our precious twins and helped so many other couples achieve their parenthood dreams.
It has been a little over a week since the website creation and we have received such overwhelming support from everyone. We cannot believe we have already met more than 1/3 of our goal!! Thank you to those that have read our story, shared your love and spoken kind words to us. We sincerely appreciate each and every one of you for pushing us closer to our dream. Two more weeks!!!
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I have been waiting for this day to come just to be able to raise awareness that such a day exists. We think about our babies every day, every hour, every minute but having an International day that honors all angel babies is amazing. I don't think many realize that they are people too. Our little ones had heart beats, ten fingers and toes, perfect noses, the cutest lips and everything that makes a human uniquely special. Since it was winter time while I was pregnant, many did not get to see what my belly actually looked like under my sweatshirts and sweatpants so posted with this update is a picture of my belly progression over those incredible five months. Please take a minute today to recognize all angel moms out there and our little ones that were taken too soon.
December 2012 will mark one year since our first IVF cycle which resulted in our beautiful twin babies. As you all know, we were able to carry Maka and Ku'ulani for twenty weeks (about five months) until the Lord called them back to heaven. Although April 18, 2012 was possibly the worst day of our lives as we were not ready to let our little ones go,we are very thankful for the time we were able to spend with them here on Earth.
After the loss of our precious children we needed some time to heal mentally, physically and emotionally. We feel that we are now strong enough to start the IVF journey again. Resulting from our December 2011 IVF cycle, we were able to preserve four "snow babies" and would like to complete an embryo transfer the first week of December 2012. Since we have exhausted loans against our 401 plan and our savings, we need your help. We are hoping to fundraise $1500 by November 5 which will give us the last push toward our goal. We understand times are tough so anything you can offer is very much appreciated.
Please help us in achieving our dream in being parents and allowing our angel babies the chance to watch over their sibling from up above.
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